I learned to please people

before I ever learned to please the poet in me-

Somewhere along the way,

I forgot who I was writing for.

Why would I eat if the lies inside me fill me up? 'Til there's nothing but half-truths trapped inside. I plead, scream, beg for someone to hear my cry but it's locked deep within me.
The pain I feel when I look in the mirror; why? Why do I hate myself?
Hate my hair,
my hips,
my thighs,
my stomach,
my smile.
I won't look anymore.
I can't bear to see who's staring back.
Shatter the mirror!
Distort the already broken image.
How much more damage could I do to myself before I'm through?
The scale wails when I approach; the fourth time in a day. When the numbers fall, I let out a sigh of relief, but when they rise…
What can I do?
What would you do if you couldn't be you?
Everyone's words are pointless. If its not the voice inside my head it doesn't matter. Nothing can satisfy my need to feel empty—to feel proud of the monster I’d become.

i look to the mirror, an unsightly view
what's staring back? it's me to you

how i hate what i see
the girl looking back is me

i'm trapped in my skin
pleading from within

why am i the way i am?
self love only a scam

to be better, to be yearned for
to be perfect, the end of my internal war

just listen to me, can't you see?
workout, eat less, count calories...

you'll be made new, into the person you crave to be
but it comes at a cost, do you trust me?

"The sky is vibrant as ever; the thunderclouds aren't visible anymore.
The uncertainty, the acceptance—
I stand still under this vibrant and lively sky, letting my gaze wander around.
I have been here before, I have seen it before.
I have been soaked by the rain and tamed by the wind.
The profound beauty of it all has left me in awe."

A lost kindred spirit…
Did you lose your way?
Guided by the moonlight,
Did you find your way
In the darkest midnight?

Pause—where have you been?
How have you been?
Did you find what you were looking for