I'm basking in sadness
Like lovers do after heated love-making
It coats my skin and leaves me aching for more
Another taste of the pleasure of agony
The only difference is I'm alone
There's no one there tangled up in the mess of me
And in the throes of my passion
There was no one to witness the arch of my back
Or my teeth digging into the softness of the pillow
The bruises it left aren't hand-shaped,
And they lie underneath my skin instead of coloring it
Sweet agony is a lonely existence
Yet one that I invite into the emptiness of my bed as often as I can

How do you prevent something that's already happening?
Death that has already taken a life?
Do you beg?
Do you plead?
No.
You prepare a coffin.
Just like someone's already done for you.
I love you,
And you destroyed me.

*The Suicide Diaries

We will all fall
Just like the leaves
Ending all
The tears we bleed
At seasons change
Our pain will end
Remember me
Goodbye my friend

*The Suicide Diaries

Please go to sleep
Please just go to sleep
Join me in my dreams
Help me because I can't breathe
So please, please just go to sleep

Nothing matters today
I keep breathing
The world keeps spinning
Someone somewhere is dying
Half a bottle in
With a stomach fulls of pills
Bleeding wrists
And tired eyes
Nothing matters today
Tomorrow nothing will change
Tears will be shed
Over the lives lost yesterday
Which seems to be today
Curious how that works
Nothing matters today
Nothing will matter tomorrow
Because in the end,
Nothing really matters

*The Suicide Diaries

When I get low I get way down
Everyone's around
But this feels like a ghost town
I want to scream but I can't make a sound
I wish I could stay but I'm floating away now

I want to be alone
But I don't want you to go
There are words I can't say but I want you to know
I want you to stay but I'm going so low

Loneliness is watching you smoke in the dimness of your porch-light and knowing that I can never join you