I passed you in the stairwell today
All I could manage was a cracked-voice
"hey"
It was a quick encounter with the devil
The devil that takes my guts away with a glance
Paranoid looking over the should just for
a chance
I shrink back against the hand rail so I
don't fall
'Cause that's just what don't need, a
plummet to the ground where I'd beg and crawl
To be back on my feet

Which you so gallantly swept me off of
You were my King and I couldn't help but
bend to your will
But now I see the pedestal I just stepped
you off of
But you seem to think you're on it still

On something, I'll give you that
To think you can touch me like that and
you'll magically be back
In my good graces but goodness
gracious are you far from it
Remember the plummet? Remember
your games and how I loved it?
Because
I couldn't say no to competition and oh God
there was so much of it.

I wanted to be the winner but I don't think I ever wanted the prize
Just the thought of being the best and
honorably succumbing to your lies
Beating the other girls you so often
enticed
But it's all in good fun, these games and
your vice....right?

Playing with my emotions like old toys
left forgotten
But you've forgotten the best part
You can't take something that's not there
No, you can't take my heart

I'll lead you on again, say hi again on the
stairs
Make you think you got me right
This way you'll know what it feels like to
be a player
but never win the prize.



*******.

I gestured toward to miles of despair ahead

And you told me that the lonely road doesn't end here

Well ****. I could have told you that.

I had just turned to walk away, muttering profanities about a pretentious *******

But then you piped in with a soliloquy of your own

You told me that the lonely road doesn't end here.
It keeps on going and going with no particular destination.
But along the way there are pit stops of joy. Times when you may actually feel happy. Like the road wouldn't be too bad as long as you were with that person who's always at the pit stops, fixing you up and making you better

I turned around then, but you weren't there.

Where the **** did you go?
This was an open road we were standing on and now I'm just here alone.

That was when I realized that the only pit stop I needed was you. I'll only ever be happy when I'm with you.

It hurt to smile, her stitches were too tight. Drinking her feelings away, she reaches for a Camel Light.
Scarred beyond recognition, she silently sits in waiting.
An agreement with the devil, alone sitting shaking.
Longing to be gone but the dead cannot die.
They creep in the corners and find a way inside.
Nestled in her chest where her heart used to be,
Lie fragmented dreams of the girl she should be.
Old toys left forgotten, now residing in the back of her mind.
There's nothing left for her so she breaks down and she cries.
Family abandoned, friends never there
She's the girl in grunge pictures with the molten blue hair.
Always a mystery with a rough exterior
Scars like tattoos of feeling inferior.
She's boarded up and let's no one in,
No place to call her own, her home is her skin.
You look at her bold beauty and think
why can't that be me
But she would trade all that and more if
**she could be free

I had just been through the worst year of my life
A ten month marathon of running, running, running away from the pain that was always biting at my heels
And you were there, but not there, every single day.
Not even on the sidelines
Not even noticing my lack of breath
Oblivious to the one that you're supposed to always be there for
It was the worst year of my life and I went through it all alone
So forgive me if I seem a bit surly, but I'm still trying to catch my breath.

Your scent, once cemented in my memory, has now faded
It comes back occasionally
A fleeting reenactment of the original
Nonetheless, it still soaks me in nostalgia
And I find myself needing to catch my breath
Just like it used to catch whenever you showed up