almond eyes
seeing more
than i see inside
wild as a wolf
and wide as her mind
blue as the sky
before the stars
come alive
while the artist
takes its time
painting a moon
on dark cotton
and i swear
this world is better
when her eyes are open

staring at the ceiling, counting the mosquito bites on my arm
there are sixteen
reasons why you left me but I can only remember the one that went unsaid
"you cannot fix yourself"
there is a constellation of scars on my hips
and I can see your face, hear your biting words in them
if I try hard enough.
maybe it's just a reflection of the moonlight,
or it's just one bad night. one of too many.
am I the insect stuck between screen and glass
trying to escape something shatterproof
when the more effort I put in, the more likely I am to die?
even the mosquitoes have become tired of seeing my blood
it fills the sticky night with a sour-sweet stench
of broken promises and lost lies.
but god,
I am the moth who only wants to get closer to the light.
you were my light.
and I'll leave the windows open all summer
as if maybe you'll crawl back in through them
I've broken the glass in all of them anyway
I've named sunrises after you
they too are supposed to be emblems of hope but only remind me of how broken I am
and it's funny
because I used to wish on every star that you'd understand
but now I just wish to be able to forget you.

Why is it that whenever I am not well

                                                           ­                 I tend to reflect on my life,

                                   How i treat others

It's as if I not only want to get better from the illness

                                                        ­       but need to be better in general.

Is Tahirih today not good enough?    :(

Silly fever, illnesses are for mortals, so why you trouble me so?

The biggest addictions are not external

It is the state of mind of that human (internal)

And most persons these days are addicted to sadness, hurt and pain

And though they claim they hate it ,
They do it themselves over and over again

Just as an addict hates his crave for a CIG
But lights one anyway, to satiate his regular routine

Sadness is worse, for it affects the greatest weapon we possess- our mind.
If the mind is weak, however will we battle our challenges?

A sad mind is a soldier going into war without his shield, helmet or sword, who has shown up empty handed and is prepared to lose before the fight has even started.

At the risk of being critical
You’re nothing but a criminal.
You take what you want
And even stop to flaunt
You thinking you are pretty
Makes you have no pity.
You take all personal pride
From how you look outside.

You’re as deep as a saucer
And before I go further
Let me lay this fact on you
Most of us are on to you.
We expect so little of you,
It makes it hard to love you.
There’s so little more to see
Than your superficiality.

To be sure your looks served
To attract me so I swerved
And ran along beside you
To learn what was inside you
But imagine my great surprise
To find nothing behind your eyes.
As far as I soon came to tell
It was like I was talking to a well.

But it is okay, cutie, it’s all fine
I’ll just move on down the line
And find someone with a soul;
A personality that is whole.
I will find a person who cares
About more than clothes and hair
You can move on and have fun
With some other image-oriented one.

Like autumn leaves, our love
begins to beautifully grow
into a vibrant, colourful, 
radiant, and vivid glow

And just when love becomes
the most exotic and bright, 
it withers away and dies 
until the next autumn sight

When I was eight years old I dropped my pencil and managed to put it through my left foot
Thats how I learned to sit still and dive into my own head instead of the outside world
I came to the conclusion that anything outside my eyelids was dangerous
So when I seem reserved please don't hold it against me I just feel like I need to protect myself
I have plenty of scars now but most of them don't show easily and I guess I should apologize for it
The next year I injured myself learning to ride a bike something I had never had any interest in
That was the day I learned not to try so hard for things I don't care about
When I was seventeen I met a girl who told me to never hug with one arm because it was half-hearted
Over the next year she became very dear to me but it didn't last nearly as long as either of us hoped
But you can only wear a mask for so long without suffocating yourself but that is what she learned
I was just tired of getting sick from the lies she spoon fed me calling it medicine
That was also the year I learned that I am not responsible for anyone else's actions but my own
When I was eighteen I went to college and experienced the entire twelve year school experience in three years
I never understood culture shock until I was alone surrounded by loud people who didn't think the same as me
I met them both in college but they seemed to be one person and I think that was just to make up for lost time
But truth be told that was time I could have lived having lost I'm still trying to drown out the bitter taste of regret
That was how I learned you could give too much of yourself and I knew I was right to say the world was dangerous
I learned how three am felt and the cold gaze of the stars that scared sleep away became all to familiar
Soon it became clear that not everyone loves or feels love in the same way
And the only relief I could find was driving down the highway only lit by the cars that couldn't sleep
When I was twenty-one I graduated from college with what I imagined to be a useless degree and I was vexed
Infuriated at the idea that I had spent so much time and money on something that would never benefit me
No matter what angle I looked at things I could not see the wisdom in this decision but I was also a fool
I got a new job that I would not have been prepared for without my time at school
Here I am an anomaly that no one seems to understand and thats okay because ultimately this is what I need to be
We don't happen by chance that has never been the way anything works
I know this because things are better now and I'm starting to question validity of death
*~W.C.