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 Feb 2018 Nicole
alexa
you will never be forgotten.
ever.
your name twisted into metaphors and colors and distractions will forever
be painted across pages and pages of her favorite brand of notebook,
no matter how many she burns
there will always be one she forgot,
and she will only find it once she had almost forgotten you.
she will find the one Papyrus notebook
and all of your metaphors and colors and disractions will come flooding back,
just like how the ocean in your eyes
flooded her heart all those years ago.
 Jan 2018 Nicole
laura-jessica
so happy
so happ
so hap
so ha
so h
so
s
su
sui
suic
suici
suicid
suicida
suicidal
edit: thank you for all your feedback, it is nice to hear support as well!
 Jan 2018 Nicole
K
Do you remember
 Jan 2018 Nicole
K
I cannot hide the way I feel
When you're standing right there next to me
And I cannot lie that when you speak
My heart forgets to time its beats
And I know it's wrong but I can't help
This feeling that you give to me

Oh what a mess we've made
What a hole that we've dug
You're trying to pull me away
But I would rather be stuck with you

And we, we could run away, my love
Away from the Universe
Time, make it stop so I can breathe
The morning's nearly here again
And I don't know much
But this could be
Where my soul is pulling me

Oh what a mess we've made
What a hole that we've dug
You're trying to pull me away
But I would rather be stuck with you

Then you take my hand
And you whisper to me
Darling when I'm with you, you are all that I see
Oh what a pickle we're in
But you make me happy
My heart is stuck with you
And yours is stuck with me

Please wont you hold me
Please wont you kiss me

Oh what a pickle we're in
Oh what a pickle we're in my love
Read it. Remember it. Read it again.
 Jan 2018 Nicole
van Young
I’m not the easiest person you could ever get to know
It’s hard for me to let my feeling show
Seriously rowing toward a lifetime shore
My Nadia accepted me as I am and unlocked that door
It would be nice to find another love for the rest of my life
But I don’t care. It may not happen. Nadia was the best of my life
Since her transition, I am moving at a sullen, strange, slow motion clip
Wayward, dazed and confused on a moonless night like a lost, unmoored ship
It happened - I wrote the dread of the last call by phone
It happened - I wrote the dread of solo sunrises alone
I have lost track of the daze
Absolut ***** should make a special infused flavor called Purple Praise
It could be a substitute drink for the cigs that shortened My Nadia’s days
A man of My word I am with nothing left to bend
My commitments last past the test of time with no end
I’ve taken a hit, below the belt followed by an unfair body blow
For good measure, the cruel life mambo continued with an upper cut combo
I see the nice female buffet of style, culture, texture, warmth, smiles, language, smarts, money, eyeing and sighing
I am too busy trying to stop crying

There is the thought of sharing another man’s wife
Then if love is lost the pain is shared with another man’s life
There goes a beautiful curvy sweater with great Coco pearls
and a Paris cut coat with a cowl collar swoop
I see the strong yet supple Italian craft on those jodhpurs
- designed to elongate knee high boots
Nice New York coat with the seven times spun silk London scarf
Yes, you wear it well.  The Universe knows how to give the female form
a slippery sweet divine spark
My eyes should synapse to my brain and should be fantasy inspired
Maybe never again, my soul is weary, my spirit is tired
Someone, Aleph Bet - - please ask them to sit down or
at least move over 500 feet out of my view
They are blocking me from seeing My Nadia send me another
personalized sunset marked
‘ just for you ’
 Jan 2018 Nicole
van Young
I, a purple plant decided to grow in these digs
Between the gorgeous, green, grass growth of sprigs
I don’t need a My name and I don’t really care
The need to live and sing out loud is in the air
The soil is right and there is Sun to spoil
So I decided to add My color palette which is purple royal
I hope You can see My tiny sprouting flowers
We bask and pray and sit silently for hours
It’s hot. It’s dry. Yet I can feel My place
In Praise there is beauty for this time and space
I am growing low and close to the ground
I give tiny crawling creatures a place to be found
Mornings are great and I look up to cerulean blue
My face gets washed with sweet sincere morning dew
Look at that Sun blaring and glaring with vitamin D
I invite You to Stop by, inspect My parts and enjoy Me
I am living proof of Love in purple rays
No past, no present, just more tomorrow days
I don’t complain, I don’t look back
Daily, Mother Earth provides whatever I lack
Wow, there is the rumble of a big, huge, gargantuan loud truck
And someone in this neighborhood has a quacking duck
Here comes Tex the Wonder Dog on his morning walk
I would like to say ‘ hello ’ but I can’t talk
So I send him good feelings and a light purple kiss
Then wait and relax for the next passerby. This is pure bliss
Hey birdie can You see Me from up there ?
Or are You too busy flapping Your wings to stay in the air
Thank You Source Energy for all You give Me
It is great growing, glowing, feeling and living free
 Jan 2018 Nicole
Isabelle
so i’ve heard
that many have started alright
but ended up all wrong
oh baby, why don’t we
reverse our story?
let’s start at the end
let’s start at the bottom
let’s start it the wrong way
maybe, just maybe
we’ll end up right for each other..
 Jan 2018 Nicole
Rebel Heart
There aren't enough words in the world
Nor enough time
To tell you all my regrets as I tell you goodbye
...
There aren't enough emotions in the world
Nor enough tears
To tell you all my heart feels as I smile and walk away
...
Because how can you leave someone
Who was the only place that felt like home?
...
Yet that's exactly what I did
...
Because houses always stand longer
When there's no poison to ruin it
...
There's no place like home... until you realize you're doing nothing but repainting over scars that'll never go away and chasing after dreams that were nothing but mistakes. You were my only home yet you were my greatest mistake...

(This was written about 6 years ago and yet the original, longer version of this work brought me to actual tears. Enjoy this snippet and happy writing! ~BM)
 Jan 2018 Nicole
Blu3moth
Untitled
 Jan 2018 Nicole
Blu3moth
There is no worse feeling
Then when you know everything is going to ****
Then someone comes along and tells you "everything's gonna be alright"
Is someone important to me dead?
No
Financial issues?
Not really
But this constant feeling of being alone
Is like a **** plague
It feeds off the rest of me trying to live
Killing me bit by bit
Taking everything I love away from me
Mentally and emotionally
Can't pick up a camera, all your pictures are ****
**** that pencil, you can't draw
***** your dreams, welcome to reality
Where everything is work work work
Until you quit quit quit
The realest thing in the world
Is you and your pathetic self
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