I hinge upon you
you are the fulcrum
of all my motion

I am that crazy person that you saw drive past your street seven times in the past ten minutes
I don’t know where I’m going
Not in the car
Not in my future
It’s like no one put up street signs
And I end up crashing into a light post
Or fire hydrant
Or literally anything straight ahead of my vehicle
And then you see me start to completely lose it
Tears streaming down my eyes
Because of course this had to happen
And specifically to me
And everything is going wrong
So of course I ran in to the seven year old’s dog
Right in front of her
On her birthday
With all her little friends watching
Just after I got off the phone with my mom
Who said my grandma was dying
And also after a morning
That was impossible for me to get out of bed
I was that sad
And I was on my way to who knows where
To do who knows what
That would probably make my depression and anxiety even worse
Of course this had to happen
I don’t know where I am going anymore
I thought I did
But I don’t
It’s basically like I don’t even have a license to drive my own life
So how am I supposed to get there?

There I was, sound asleep in my bed.
Memories of my wife and I
Danced in my head.
All of a sudden,
I woke up to a chill in the air
And I couldn't help feel
Like someone was there.
As I laid back down,
I heard a knock at the door.
I looked at the clock
And it was half past four (a.m.)
"Who could that be?"
I put on my robe,
And as I crept down the hall,
I checked in on my daughter.
"Wow. She's not even five
And she's already so tall."
The stranger knocked again,
So I hurried my pace.
I was about to scream,
But then I saw his face.
It was snow.
I was so angry, I couldn't speak.
All I could do was glare.
Finally, I said "what do you think you're doing, standing there?"
"Hey! I just wanted to let you know
I was back in town."
He was wearing a smile
But when he saw I was mad,
He replaced it with a frown.
"What's wrong?
Aren't you happy to see me?"
I scoffed. "Happy? To see you?
You killed my wife!
Last year, she was driving home.
That night, you covered her windshield and she got into an accident because she couldn't see.
Snow was horrified.
He looked me in the eye,
Said "I'm so sorry,"
And as he walked away,
He started to cry.
Just then, my daughter snuck out.
"Snow! Don't go!" I heard her shout.
I couldn't believe it, but she hugged him. I knelt down beside her and asked "if you know who this man is, why are you happy to see him?"
She said "because even though it's sad she's not here, snow was the thing mommy looked forward to the most every year."
After a moment, I knew what I needed to do.
"Snow, I will never forget what you did or the pain you put me through.
But in honor of my wife and daughter,
I forgive you.

I don't lie,
I only avoid telling the truth
Some things are better,
When you let them the way they were

While some others are,
In need of adjustment, or fine-tuning, must I say
To keep everything in place,
Like it is meant to be, preservation of the world

I don't lie, I've confessed,
Make peace with all my sins at last
Like I said, I don't lie, but hey,
Maybe, this time, who knows, I just did

mental illness is the
most expensive thing
i've ever owned but
never wanted