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Orion Lesneski Oct 2019
I never thought I would get this far!!
All of you have made my year better than the years before!
Orion Lesneski Sep 2019
It flows through my body like blood,
It burns my veins feeling like acid.

When I look in the mirror,
I see a shadow,
A shadow of what I've become.
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
Never again will I,
Look at you,

Never again will I,
Talk to you,

Never again will I,
Love you.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
I'm on my own.....
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
This is bad,
Very bad,
I just wish I had,
Better control over my mad,
Orion Lesneski Oct 2019
( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
They do not help,
The blood just soaks on through,
No matter how many I put on,
It will not stop.

( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
Blood soaked,
The wrist is covered in blood,
No way I can stop it.

( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
I look into my sisters eyes,
She is pleading me to help her,
As the blood drains from her wrists,
There is nothing I can do.
( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅ ̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
Orion Lesneski Feb 2020
Last day of school,
A lot of people thinks I’m cool,
I’m just a fool.
I'm getting out of this school! I'm so happy!
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
When you need me the most,
At anytime of day,
Just check your front porch,
I’ll be sitting there,
Waiting for you to smother your burning torch,
Just crawl into my arms,
And you will see,
I will always be there,
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
Smoking bud,
It warms my blood,
Even though it makes me a dud,
I turn into a stud.
Orion Lesneski Jul 2020
In the field,
In the yard,
On the swings,
On the slide.

Childhood was great,
But now it's old.
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
Punching holes through the wall,
Christmas break was like a brawl,
People tell me to stay strong,
How can I when everything I do is wrong,
My parents say it's all my fault,
That I'm the reason why we're falling apart,
And they wonder why I'm this way,
I'm sick and tired of coming home,
Having to deal with the same **** everyday,
So I drink some Brandy,
And some Gemma di Luna,
Locked in my room,
Waiting for my life to go !!BOOM!!
Orion Lesneski Sep 2019
Ok so I'm a recovery addict have been for a year and three months, Well that was the case before last Saturday, I ****** up, was messing around with a "friend" of mine and we got high af and then we messed around with each other if you get the jist.
I just feel like **** knowing I let myself down and all my loved ones. But I'm not going to let that bother me. Im gon fight it and push myself to do better and beat my record. Any support from you guys would be amazing. Love all you guys
Orion Lesneski Mar 2020
When I was little,
I was told I could be anything I wanted to be,
Of course I was a little boy,
I wanted to be a Dragon.
Orion Lesneski Oct 2019
We were great together close to perfect.
But back then i didn't deserve you, I do now but you with him so my past is trying to reflect.
Trying to drag me down to my old ways.
Replaying memories of those old days.
All those thoughts just lead me back to you.
I'm still trying to grasp how fast everything we had went to fade.
Sure for now I'll take the "L."
Somewhere down the road I'll take the win even if it has to be my last will.
Whether I get you back or I don't.
I'm barely afloat.
This depression is wrappin' around me so this fake smile I'm wearin' fits as good a coat.
Now I'm at the point I'm done with tryin'.
I'm lovin' you but Im hatin' you so Im cryin'.
It's been over a year tryna get you back or replace you.
Some just like you but not the same outer case as you.
Inside you is what I'm talkin' bout.
I loved your outside too but searchin' for a girl like you causin' me to live in a drought.
I know with out a doubt.
That I'm done fightin' with my heart and my mind.
Angle on my left shoulder wit' the Demon on the right.
Tellin' me not to give up fightin' for you but also tellin' me to forget about you but 11 months ago I couldn't decide on which side.
But now I can.
Ima stand.
No not for you.
Worry bout me and who I wanna be.
You can't drive me insane anymore.
My brain you can't claim anymore.
Get the **** up outta my head.
So bad I wish I was dead.
Im ******' fed up.
These thoughts ******' wit' me reminding me how much you were of a set up.
Get out my head.
With all the ******* you said.
Just wanna go to bed.
You wasted my time.
The way I see it wit' how much I loved you was a ******' crime.
I got my eyes set on someone else.
I got my bets on someone else.
I've known her longer than I've known you.
Be with her is what I wanna do.
So **** the "L" I was takin.
And all the **** you were sayin'.
The line you have crossed.
The **** was barely even a loss.
I got the win now.
I won't sin now.
I am no longer a joke
I don't know
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
What will my parents do,
If I go back to my crew,
They thought I withdrew,
But that’s untrue,
I always come through,
And make do.
I miss my friends....
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
You carve your art on my skin,
From neck to toe,
You put a cross.

You used a razor blade,
And cut deep,
On my skin,
You have sinned.
I went to a party last night at my friends house and had "fun". He let me crash there and when I fell asleep some girl carved crosses on my skin. My friend said that he saw a girl go into the room and she was in there for a while, so I think I need to have a little conversation with her about that.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
I can't see anything,
It seems like I've gone blind,
But I know I haven't,
It is just Dark
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
Look over this way,
What do you see?

My body surrounded by decay,
Why do you think this way?
Orion Lesneski Jun 2020
In my thoughts,

In my bed,

In my world,

Flying with angels
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
Our dishwasher just died on us... so im covered in soap and i dont like it. Soapy in a shower yes, soapy in the kitchen no way. *****
Orion Lesneski May 2020
I'm done,
going down hill fast
need help,
just gonna go quick,
one shot,
I'm gone
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
You think I will be jealous,
To see another guy climb up your trellis,
But what you don’t see,
I don’t care how you’ll be.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
As blood drips down my fist,
I hope you got the gist
You wasted my time,
And I did a rapid climb!!
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
Was I not enough for you?
I told you I was in love,
But you flew away like a dove.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
I pull over and park in the barrow pit,
Cursing myself for letting you quit,
You left our love in the dust,
For you it’s been covered up,

But for me I still see,
You giggling,
Because I said something,
You probably don’t remember that night,
But baby I can’t keep it off my mind,
You’ve been in my dreams,

I get out of my truck,
And turn the radio all the way up,
I thought we were in love,
But you just cut me up,
I was so torn up,
I saw you the other day,
And you looked just the same,

I just wish I could say,
Baby just stay,
But when love was in the air,
I thought you were being fair,
But you were never there,

I sat on my tailgate,
Wondering why I’m up this late,
Scrolling through all the pictures we took,
I delete them all,
It’s time for me to get over you,

I jump back in the driver's seat,
Slam the stick into 1st,
And I forget about you.
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
I’m running on empty,
Palms are all sweaty,
My mind going crazy.
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
listening on repeat
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
Razor Blades,
They take away the pain,
But they hurt the ones I love,
So that’s enough,
To keep me from slicing up.
Orion Lesneski Sep 2019
I am the reason why darkness flows through me,
It's like a black pool of nothing,
It's there but at the same time it's not,
I never knew what it meant,
But it came to me one dark night,
It's here because of what others have done to me,
And what I've done to others.
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
You look for me,
When you are feeling “broken”,
I’m done being on the sideline,
Watching you hurt every guy,
Just like you did with me,
It’s like you’ve got a degree,
In being a flea,
Jumping from guy to guy,
******* them bone dry,
I’m done being there,
To comfort you when you get a tear,
So leave,
Go away,
I don’t wanna see you anyway.
I'm honestly done with being used like I'm a ******* toy. I'm not CLUELESS!!!
Orion Lesneski Oct 2019
We've been best friends for eight years,
Now you have me in tears.

Your leaving today,
But I want you to stay.

Remember when we used to play,
Video games all day?

I consider you my brother,
But your making me suffer.
Orion Lesneski May 2019
I was,
Enjoying the sun,
You walked by,
And said hi,
I thought why?

I was,
Enjoying the rain,
In pain,
News paper in my lap,
I let loose a laugh,
And shed a tear,
in Section B,
Was your obituary.
Orion Lesneski Apr 2020
I'm never gonna make it,
So I just fake it.
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
I’m going crazy,
My mind is all hazy,
Should I go lazy,
Or go into a frenzy?
I don't know what to do....
Orion Lesneski May 2019
I look out the door,

I look out the window,

Am I in hell?

I walk into my room,
My phone says 2:34 am.
Orion Lesneski Sep 2019
Sometimes I feel like no one cares... They never listen to me. People walk by me on the streets and give me a look of disgust. Just because I wear chains, bulky rings, leather jacket and a flat bill. IN THE SUMMER!!!!  The lease I can do is help take it to your car. That is who I am. I've been through things most people do not go through everyday. I'm a disgrace to my family, they do not understand why I am like this.

Sometimes I feel like no one appreciates me... The other day at work, I got called up to the registers to help an older lady with her grocery. The moment she saw me she said that she can handle it. My coworker just gave me a sad smile. I WORK MY *** OFF TO KEEP THOSE **** SHELVES FULL OF PRODUCTS RUNNING BACK AND FORTH EVERY ******* DAY!!!!!! At the end of the day I am so stressed and exhausted that once I step foot in my room, I fall to the ground and curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out. I am 17 years old and I am already getting joint pain everywhere. I just want to end it all right here right now. I have school, work and not to mention the hell I have to go back home to.

Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
If you ask me,
How many times have I shed tears,
I’ll tell you,
Only a few,
Throughout the years,
But that doesn’t mean I’m heartless,
I have a heart,
But it’s torn apart.
I recently started talking to someone and they have started my fire again, but they live in a different state. :(
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
Haven’t ate anything for days,
Something is keeping me from eating,
My hunger for you.
Orion Lesneski May 2019
I've hurt so many people in my life,
Every time I tried to fix things,
It would always backfire.

But now I know how to make things better,
Sometimes your actions are better than words,
Just be there for them and they will know you care.
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
mood for years
Orion Lesneski Dec 2019
Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees
And begged you not to leave
Because I'd go beserk
Well you left me anyhow
And then the days got worse and worse
And now you see I've gone
Completely out of my mind
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away **-** hee-hee ha-haaa
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
You thought it was a joke
And so you laughed
You laughed when I said
That losing you would make me flip my lid
You know you laughed
I heard you laugh, you laughed
You laughed and laughed and then you left
But now you know I'm utterly mad
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away **-** hee-hee ha-haaa
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
I cooked your food
I cleaned your house
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish, loving deeds
Ha! Well you just wait
They'll find you yet and when they do
They'll put you in the A.S.P.C.A.
You mangy mutt
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
They're coming to take me away ha-haaa **-** hee-hee
To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me away
To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa!
Orion Lesneski May 2020
Looking down
I don’t think
I just do

Looking up
I don’t think
I just do

Jumping down
I don’t think
I just do

Falling down
I don’t think
I’m just through.
In a really bad place right now in my mind....😒😞🥺
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
You treated my sister like ****,
Said you loved her,
But you didn’t,
You didn’t treat her the right way,
Then yesterday you came where I work,
Just to say,
“Hey punk, How’s that disgust of a sister doing?”

I turned around and walked away,
Even though I wanted to drop you,
I stayed professional,
For a bit…

I walked into the beer freezer,
Restocked the beer shelves,
Punched the walls,
And walked out,
Turned off the lights,
And locked up the store at 10:00pm.

I went home,
With blood dripping down my fist,
Mother didn’t ask what happened,
Father didn’t either,
They both noticed,
But didn’t care.
Orion Lesneski Oct 2019
Ok so I remembered Halloween was today last night. But when I woke up this morning, I forgot. I got to school dressed like Tom Sawyer (today was dress up as your favorite book character at my school) and everyone was like "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!" I just forgot that it was Halloween again, until my girlfriend said "I love you" like she normally does, For some reason that reminded me that it was Halloween. It is weird, every time a day is important, I always forget, until my girlfriend says something random. Just thinking about this... My memory has gotten so bad over the years and I am only 17. What about when I am in my 50s?? Oh well as long as I have someone that will stay by my side I will be good.
Orion Lesneski May 2020
It follows me around,
So I wear it as a crown,
Killing those who don't bow down,
They know me as Killer Clown,
In all towns.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
People tell me to get over it,
When they see what I write,
They say it’s just a phase,
That I will get over it,
But they don’t know….
Orion Lesneski Feb 2020
Got in a fight with my dad on Saturday,
He yelled and said "I don't love you anymore!"
"Never did, Never will!"
I snapped,
The day was just great,
Up until he started to diss me and my biological mother,
He knows not to do that,
But he did it anyways,
So I told him to *******,
That ya'll aren't my family,
And I walked off our property,
I walked 8 miles and I was in town,
When to a friends,
And smoked joints, and bowls,
Cant tell ya how many because it went to my brain,
Can't they see I'm struggling?
And that when they tell me I'm worthless,
Or that my mother was a ****?
**** she had a loving husband!
She loved my sister and I!
She didn't want to give us up,
So when people tell me that I'm lucky,
Ha their ******* funny,
Lucky for what!!??
Orion Lesneski Jan 2020
When will I learn,
And start to discern,
What would happen if I yearn,
To turn,
Into a Mimosa pudica fern,
So I can burn.
Orion Lesneski Nov 2019
Take my hand,
Let me take away your pain,
Make it go far away,
And let us jump on a train,

Take us to a different state,
Let’s make a new reality,
That only involves you and me,
No more hurting,
No more pain.
Orion Lesneski May 2019
Said you loved me,
Said you would never leave,
Said you only had eyes for me,
Said I could trust you,
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