I am not good at saying goodbye
And if I ever did,the speech will all be a lie
You've always been my sunshine in the dark
Why waste time leaving just to turn right back?

When you fall in love with someone
It's nearly impossible to shake that felling
You know it's time to let go
You can't help but to feel
That maybe
With time
They'll change
So you hold on
To the person you think you know
But you don't anymorre
And you deny it
Tell yourself that it will get better
He will get better
You believe
That he won't hurt you again
But deep inside
You know he will
Because he's done it many times before
And you still held on

I sped away one evening
through my busy little town,
gliding,
music occupying my mind,
riding down hills,
leting the wind run its fingers through my hair.

i arrived at a dusty trail that led to an old water tower
that looked over the town like a sentinel.
sweaty and redfaced i followed the trail,
my acoustic music hid behind background of everything,
a magical glow lay at the edge of the trail.
as the fiery light lit my face aflame,
i knew i was apon something special.

shining magnificently,
the most beautiful smile i had ever seen.
twas a loving smile,
the lips were brown and chapped,
the horizon illuminated it's glistening orange teeth,
the old rusty water tower became a black beauty mark,
my friends were up resting in its dimple, waiting for me.
an amazing crooked grin,
a smile so sure shot with joy,
it filled the cracks in my heart
and had me yelping with rushing happiness.

the universe giggled back
"your welcome";)

I am nineteen
And sitting in an over-glorified sports bar,
Telling him about my ex
Who would sip from the Devil's cup
And pummel my face
When he tells me
"You are too young to have dealt with that."

And I almost cry.

Because having been involved
In some serious **** before my 18th birthday,
I am afraid to tell him
That I have seen my friends
In coffins with track marks kissing their veins
And truly guilty rapists walk free.
I am ashamed to say
That I know what it is like
To have a person say to me
With no concern, only disdain
"Are you going to calm down
Or do I have to call the police this time?"

I took Atticus Finch too seriously
When he said to put on your fellow man's shoes
And walk around in them.
I have been on first dates in mental hospitals
And I became addicted to nicotine
By tasting it on men's breath
And he would be appalled to find out
The real reasons
I don't drink.

In a world where a year ago
I had to ask to leave the room and ****
I am now in a world
Where I am condemned
For not knowing where I'm going yet
But I will be dammed
If I do not know
What you're allowed to gift someone
Who is in the hospital after a suicide attempt
Or drug overdose.

Books, but only ones with non-controversial themes,
Shoes, laces prohibited.

It seems to me that they know
That my connection to this earth
Has become so frail
That even a shoelace
Could sever it.

His eyes are as young as mine
But he is saying these things to me
With a cigarette in his hand
And the weight of sleepless nights on his shoulders.
And I want to tell him that pain isn't relative
And what hurt me
May **** him
But I will not burden him
With the knowledge
That life gets better
Because I know he is hard headed.

I wonder some nights
If a shoelace is all it would take for him, too

And I almost cry.