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Philomena Oct 2019
All I ever wanted was to find someone
But holdin' it together is the hardest part
No one said life gets in the way
That our plans may change but our hearts remain
You stand in the doorway holdin' me
Feeling the tension, you beg and plead
Not to go away again
And then she said

Every time you leave, I lose a little piece of me
And every time we speak, words don't do it justice
It's just us from here
Here, here
And that's when she said
Every time you leave, I lose a little piece of me

All I ever wanted was to find someone
But finishing the puzzle is the hardest part
Everyday wishin' you could stay
'Cause our minds may change but our hearts remain
You stand in the doorway holding me
Lost in the moment, I can't believe
You gotta go away again
And when I say
Philomena Oct 2019
You whisper behind the door
Its soft and almost non existent
Against the noise of the everyday world its drowned out
But at night when all is still I hear it

You ask me why
Ask me if it's too late
Ask me to try again
Tell me its sink or swim

And I'd love to tell you to shut up
Or get a better door
But there is a hint of reality in what you are saying
And it leaves me listening for more
Philomena Oct 2019
"What you got, boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
I'm all strung out, my heart is fried
I just can't get you off my mind
Because your love, your love, your love is my drug"
Philomena Oct 2019
Sometimes I can't stand it
I lie here beside you
Puddle of pain and fear
And you're like the lighthouse guiding me to safety

I didn't ask to be saved
And I don't want you to save me

I wish I was healthy enough to save myself
I wish I was more than this
And I wish more than anything I could be something to you

But i'll cry into my pillow again
And count the days till I'm home
Maybe just maybe I'll silently wish I was dead

Sorry I won't let you save me
Because I know what it takes
Driving into cold water after a corpse
And I do it because I love you
As hard as that is to explain
I wont let you jump in the water just because I'm sinking
because then I'd be the reason you got wet
Philomena Oct 2019
Wrapped tight in a grey blanket
Staring for what feels like hours
Dead inside
And the soft fabric slowly sleeps as minutes pass
Until it sits around my waist
I stand up to readjust
The only movement in hours
The blanket falls from the chair
A puddle of sadness on the floor
I scoop it up and let it hug around me one more
Returning to my staring it does it once more
My grey puddle of sadness on the floor
Philomena Oct 2019
"Why'd you do it why'd you leave
Why'd you help me find my feet
Why'd you guide me blindingly
Then turn and say goodbye to me
All this time I tried to be
The person you applied to me
This lie you feed that I'd succeed
Is why I'm me, a dying breed

You saved me, you made me
And through it all you changed me forever
You love me, you hate me
And through it all you changed me forever

Through it all you changed me
I'm not the same me
For better or for worse this person that you made me
Through it all you changed me
I'm not the same me
For better or for worse you changed me forever"
Philomena Oct 2019
I close my eyes and I see yours
The dark brown
Deep like a raging river
Now clouded over in wispy white
Like spilled milk
I remember holding your head in my hands
Staring in those eyes
I asked you to hold on
Begged you to wait for me to come home
And you have no idea how much I just want to hold you
To say goodbye
I miss you more than words can express
And in all these years I can't believe the time has come
You seemed invincible
Stronger than I will ever be
And I can't fathom anything other than you and me
Although I'm not ready to be here without you
I know it's only a matter of time
At least until I have to say goodbye to those eyes
My dog is dying, he is I believe 16 or 17 now and I've had him as far as my memory goes. Drake is the most wonderful boy in the world and it will be a sorry world to live in without him.
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