Now a days the truth is more than we wanted to know.

some people believe it,
some people dont.

Now a days acceptance is spreading quite fast,
it's becoming the foundation of how long we will last.

honesty will bring people to unimaginable lengths

honestly it has made me an irrational mess.

i wish that i could scream till my lungs would explode.
before i leave the world my truths shall be told.

everything fact i keep inside will leave everyone else exposed.

the truth is the truth is much more than you'll ever know.

this burden should not be mine it should be his.
i dont know what to do but what i dont want to do is live.

how has this fire destroyed me entirely

when he and i were both equally lit?

my whole life i believed in so many different things.
as i grew up i found more and more of them to be *******.

my whole life i was skeptical about whether or not i belong here.

and almost 19 years old i know that i dont.

i would never throw blame for anything i've ever done.
but the truth now a days will make you want to run.




if i need my veins to carry my blood
if i need my heart to beat for my life,
if my brain keeps me aware and all of this stops,
really is there any afterlife?

the truth is in my head and circles surround it.
those circles are destructive and i completely allowed it.

i cant believe i lasted almost 19 years long.
the truth beat me to death i know after that i cant go on.

You were like fire.
Spread across my heart burning every part,
No one could put you out.
Not even me.
You were like fire.
Sending me to my grave.
Ashes instead of flesh
Burn victim could not be saved.
No controlling this deadly flame.
Oh Jesus I'm calling your name.
This fire can never be tamed.
Ohh lord please someone help me.
Call the fire department
Tell them my whole world is melting.
Beneath death I am covered.
Buried 8 feet under.
I'm calling quits on my guarded wall,
I'm giving in to my lover.

you can ask all the questions you want.
just dont expect me to tell you the truth.
you say you wonder if im okay..
far from it but still walking through.

something really bad took place.
wasnt the first time it happened.
you can tell by the event i am not the same.
i wont bother smiling or laughing.
nobody will believe me
simply because i couldnt count
how many times these things
happen to me and look now...
im ****** up.
im worthy of every pleasure
but love.
howcome its so hard to care for me?
even i cant do it enough to be smart.
why is it impossible to be there for me?
maybe cuz i been through too ******* much...
i cant handle another crack in my chest.
i cant keep another secret for anyone elses

best interest

i cant ******* sleep at night so im deprived of rest that i need cuz i cant live with life being so...
unfair...

do i really put myself in these situations?

theres nothing that hasnt happened to me that i wasnt able to get away from.

yet im still running and the problems are chasing...

and they're all right there i didnt know they were waiting...

i cant think of suicide one more ******* time.
i cant ignore the fact that every one thinks every word i say is a lie.

i cant live with myself being the most ****** up when all i ever do is help every one else...

why do i feel so compelled to make others happy...

when inside its ******* killing me its ******* tearing at me...

im falling apart in my own head i really am..
i cant live through another fall i just cant...
i feel so dead inside and its bound to show itself.
if it hasnt already.
i need to get something to help me survive.
if life'll let me.

theres nothing in this world or out that could put me together in one piece again...

the contemplation of wanting to continue this life breaks the peace again....

everything was settling down and my thoughts were finally silent

until the gun shots went off trigger to my head and it was me behind it.

i feel like im losing control of my life.
i can sense the beginning of me losing the fight.
i expected to get better before i could get any worse
but what with all the drugs and the lack of recognition and self-worth

lack of motivation
i really have gone crazy
my actions have died lazy
and ive just been done chasing.

ill let life drag me into the tornado of the rest of us

people like me who lose to finding love

people like me who forget what they want.

its so hard to be the strongest one.

but its over,
i just want to have fun,
im not gonna try so hard, im done.

your eyes


transparent pupils

black irises

i can see the world through your sclera.

Like a mirror it reflects and shows me


not only what you see


but what the world doesnt .

i'd never hurt you but if i could

i'd cut you open to see what pours out.




maybe it heals right back up.

maybe you bleed white blood.


you dont have a heart that beats like mine.


your love is power that can be felt
and when i feel it i become paralyzed


but leave me powerless i want your love.



as if you knew me another time and i have no recollection



like you created my desires and the way i crave affection.




you're unique in yourself and your strength overtakes me.


i want to be the only one you build on, you cant replace me.




when i laid my head on your chest


my heart beat stopped and i lost every breath


i sunk into your energy and your body took me in.


your mind controlled my happiness and your love let me live.




without you i would lose everything i could ever win.





you are a force i could never go against.




insanity is normality and you make me feel....



i dont want this to end for as long as you are real.


you guide me towards a smile and that smile is always here.



but without you i'm left misguided, lost and no where near.




you can hear, see and affect me and the only way i know


is because you're the only creature who could do that with all your senses off.



if the world flooded tonight i dont know how to swim.




but i'd be breathing just fine as through your power i shall live.


you are a beautiful structure that i just cant resist to love.
if i never get to understand you i'll just understand you are the one.


you are so flawless i can stare at you forever,


i'll never get tired of seeing what keeps me together.

what's crazy yet amazing is you are completely humane.



yet foreign inside,


i can not tell from where you came.




all i know is you hit me and the force knocked me dead.


but i woke up and there i was,
my head lay on your chest.