Screams pierced the air.
Hate filled the atmosphere.
But I saw a new world.
I jumped in.
In a world where darkness was the only light.
The people ruled with their heads,
as they had no hearts.
A perfect society,
where "love" was never a factor,
and no one had any regrets.
But in this world,
everyone was lonely,
but their brains couldn't process that word,
and they couldn't understand what was missing in their lives.
It was problems,
and problems only came when you ruled with your heart.
So I realized immediately,
that this was not a world
that I wished to be apart of,
because I am content
with my confusing, troubling life.

My thoughts are uncollected.
They race through my mind,
like cars on the express way.
Words pop up in my head.
Usually in this order:
Not
Good
Enough
I can't tell if it's true.
I guess I'll see.
When I receive the message from you.

I'm tired
I'm tired of this mask
because it itches my face.
Why can't I be free
or be who I want to be.
I'm tired of that lie
that finds its way out my lips
everyday.
'I'm fine"
I'm tired of these people
who act like they care
but don't.
I'm tired of being here,
but I'm here.
Or am I?

Don't forget to smile,
like you're happy -
a tiny white lie -
or they'll ask what's wrong.
But they wont mean it,
they just want you to say
"I'm fine" -
which is another lie.
I'll go the rest of my life this way.
I won't get help
because I'm fine.
I don't need it.
Except I do need it and no one sees.
I lie,
but I only hurt myself,
because the lies I tell,
push everyone away,
so that when there is a gun to my head,
or pills in my hand,
no one can influence me,
to say no.