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empty seas Oct 2018
i’d forgotten what it felt like
to be confident in your body

i’m Finally able to look at myself
my face
my chest
my stomach
my legs
and appreciate them all

it feels really nice

i have bad moments where
i think i’m ugly and fat and awful
but they’re becoming less and less and less

and the weirdest part
is that i’m not feeling this because someone says i’m pretty
and i guess that makes sense
because after all
her words never seemed to translate
into her actions
and after all
i’ve never let someone’s views
form my own opinions

either way
i know i’m...
well, i haven’t decided what i am yet
but i don’t think i’m ugly


i was shown that it was okay
to let your anxiety control you
but i will no longer let that happen
to me

side affect of being confident: I really want to flirt with this cute British girl that showed up to an academic team meet but I’m too much of a coward
empty seas Oct 2018
i went through
every poem
about her
and made them
disappear

maybe now
it'll be easier
to feel better
to feel free

i have no more poems
about the good times
for the bad times
outweighed them

i feel freer
although i am sad
my most popular poem
is gone

it is for the best
i am freer
if you noticed my number of poems drop down randomly in the past two days, that is because i deleted all my poems about my manipulative ex
i was going to leave them up as a testament to our time together (unsurprisingly, a lot of those poems were actually quite negative). I am usually unafraid of the past but my poems about her made me cringe whenever I saw them. I deleted them to make me feel better.
  Oct 2018 empty seas
Amanda Kay Burke
I miss your beautiful blue eyes
Your sweet addictive kiss
The pain and sadness of loving your broken soul
Is one part of you I will never miss
I think it's important to realize you can miss something and not want it back
empty seas Oct 2018
i feel so cold and alone
all the hurt i’ve experienced is my fault
i’m so dumb
so naïve
so willing to please
i let my personality fade away
and i don’t know where it’s gone

all the feelings of those months
came back to me
the constant nausea
the paranoia
the want to hurt
the feeling of being
so utterly useless and ugly

i was beginning to regain
some semblance of self-confidence
but when i think of those days
it’s gone
and all i can think is:
i’m so ugly
i’m so dumb and stupid
why
why am i like this?
why am i so awful?

i feel like all the progress i made is gone...
  Oct 2018 empty seas
Anna Bell
“i love you”
those words
                      d
                         r
                           i
                             p
                               p
                                 e
                                   d
                                      from his lips
i believed his deceitful manner
his charisma, it was alluring
I think most people take this as an s.o. but it could be anyone who stopped loving you a friend, a parent to just deceive you to get what they want from you. I also thought of the devil as I wrote this, he deceives you and feeds you with lies to follow him.
empty seas Oct 2018
i can never seem to keep close friends
they come and go
almost as fast as possible
so i latch on where i can
taking things faster than necessary

i just want to be loved
but no one ever loves me for long

i want a hug...
i just don’t think im a good person anymore
people who said they loved me and cared about me always leave, even when they promise
I just want a consistent friendship for once, but i don’t think anyone will ever like me enough for that to happen
  Oct 2018 empty seas
Aisha Ella
His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.
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