His "I love you" came swiftly.
Like the monsoon pouring down on a leaky roof
Those three words broke through my defences.
At first they were an ambrosia;
They sustained my life and our relationship.
At least for a short time.

Then "I love you" became an excuse;
For absences, and purpose-filled accidents.
And I ignored the warning signs, the flashing lights.
I pretended like "I love you" was enough...

...But it wasn't.
His "I love you"s were like band-aids on bullet wounds;
Like using play dough to fix cracks in concrete walls.
But I rationed our good memories,
I held on as tight as I could to our love
And watched as it slipped through my fingers.

His "I love you"s became poison,
That seeped deep into my bones,
And turned blue skies grey,
And turned light into darkness,
And slowly killed whatever semblance of love
I fooled myself into thinking we had left.

i'm moving away soon.
whether this "soon" is a month or years from now,
but i'm moving away.
i've learned to not let other's insight on My future effect me.
my future smells like coffee and it sounds like the sea.
it looks like calm sunsets and feels like fire by the fireplace.
it smells like autumn candles being lit in the spring.
chopin playing as i calmly live day by day.
i'm going to move away.

i want to live by the sea.
i can imagine myself at the shore for eternities.
even now,
i can hear the waves calling me,
like i'm meant to be there with them.
i want to live by the sea.
nothing is more calming that the waves crashing by your feet.
small hiccups of water that never seem to end.
i want to live by the sea.

i've been wanting to lay under a tree the past week.
laying underneath a blanket and watching the sunlight beam their hands through the openings of leaves.
i want to lay there and watch the branches sway,
slowly taking my worries and unwanted thoughts with every blow of wind.