lately
I haven't been writing
like I used to
it used to be a flow of words
love or hate didn't matter
I just loved it when
the words
landed on the paper
elegant like butterflies
but now
they turned into rocks
scratching the paper
hurting my mind
they change
every poem I write to

please like me
please like
me please like me
please like me please
like me
please

inhale

be aware
of what is on your mind
all the worries
all the hate
know them
feel them
steering every movement
spinning your thoughts
into oblivion
so that you can't remember
the you you once were
now stop

exhale

sometimes
it feels like I am closing in
on the universe
and its secrets
like it opened its arms
to give me a shower of knowledge
stars rushing to my mind
whispering words of enlightenment
twinkling
showing me the path
leading to the magic
that is life

daily
my mind goes into overdrive
thoughts racing by
past the speed limit
I'm trying to make sense of them
make them go in a different
pattern
but I can't get them
to slow down
they keep making this
deafening noise
so I have to notice them
I want to put in my earphones
drown out the sounds
but I'm the one
making the noise

we are taught
that we can choose
between living
and death
but there are people
in between
they’re in the grey spot
not-alive
it is personal
and emotional
it’s hell on earth
so we act like it doesn’t exist

and in some way
it doesn’t
we keep ignoring them
we keep telling them
you’re going through a phase
or
it’ll get better
everytime they hear it
a hand pushes them further away
from the living
they think they’re dead
anyway so
what’s the difference

I can see it in your eyes
hear it from your mouth
feel it in the air
I see it taking over
your body
demanding control of
everything
I want to say
you don’t have to be

but I think I’d look silly
talking to a mirror

sadness
and happiness
so close
yet so far apart
my heart filled its self
with this loving hurt
and that is when I knew
it is an honor
to be human