So the day I say I'm done,and finished with it all..
Was the same day that the house of cards I built began to fall,
Karma huffed and puffed and blew it all away,
Whether i deserved it or not? well its hard to say,
I need to take it easy but im living life the harder way ,
Living life day to day - there's gotta be a better way,
Love Drunk from the potions from Amy's wine house ,
I sobered up but it was only to find out -
Your lion-like roars turned to Microsoft words,
I was in my own word - she was in hers,
No, I'm not modest and dishonesty's a problem for my nerves,
Approach the point of no return? We def on the verge,
Better yet the brink, and to think, our past you rubbed away -
Washed down the metaphorical sink,
And now all sounds of trouble power point to YOU,
My mind is now tainted, as you are in my point of view,
I'd hate to break the glue we used to make the news,
But i have to go away from you - Later boo..

Your honor, 
My opening statement is as simple as this, 
Because of her/
A lot of these problems exist, 
Because I'm hurt/
I have these bandaids on my wrists,
Because of her/
I'm here requesting from you this writ,
....
I'm accusing the defendant of mental Incontinence,
Now Please be warned/
She is more than mentally competent,
She believes her words are to go without consequence,
Then has the gaul to think she deserves compliments,
I mean I'm sure there's a reason for this verbal diarrhea,
Some irreversible treason diva persona supersedes her,
Known to do the most/
While sayin the least,
My heart is the house/
She stopped paying her lease,
Karma's almost as scary , dreary, and tricky as guilt,
How she stopped paying the taxes on the house that we built,
How she just machine wash memories made outta silk,
Just stopped watering her feelings/ causing them to decay and wilt,
Got this heart on my sleeves/
Gotta fill this empty CHAMBER man,
Cause if you tryin to make magic/
Gotta make some major changes man,
These mental blocks so emphatic/
R.I.P Craig sager man,
But its loose ball fouls when I dive to save our plans,
Spent way to much time buildin fences, I'm defenseless,
But still I get defensive,
Payin you attention gets expensive,
I need some time to clear my head/
I may need an extension,
On second thought/
I'm gettin sick of blockin my ascension,
So I'm sueing you for custody of my heart,
I knew you liked to play games/
Knew that from the start,
But when a ***** played too/
You never laughed at that part,
Your body was a masterpiece/
but your mind was the art,
I ****** hate you/
But I loved our conversations,
Kinda how I hate school/
But I love my education,
Now I'm trying to make moves/
That boost my concentration,
cause I cant take losin/
And you're suess when it comes to complication,
Of our useless fights/
I can make a compilation,
Preferred the premium *****/
That prize is the consolation,
Jus when things are lookin up/
I'm in bed with the constellations,
Now I keep **** to myself/
Purposeful constipation,
I told her hit me with your best shot/
Now I'm feelin vaccinated,
Tried to tell her stay woke/
And now she still decaffeinated,
Now I'm Standing in the doorway/
Leonardo decapitated,
Little did I know/
Twas your name on the affidavit,
Tryin fix new problems/
With methods that's outdated, 
Feelins crept down the stairs/
Before they escalated,
Well **** it I'd rather slide/
No fun in the playground full of mood swings,
Felt like we hit the rock wall/
I cant stand the way you do things,
Mastered the art of storytelling/
She was the kubo to my two strings,
Now your carelessness/
can only lead to two things,
Times as hard as a brick clock/
And lies that get you ******* like shoe strings....©️

My fortitude is formed with the force of Brutus' crooked dagger in my back,
These fictional factualities ferment my mentality and thats a fact,
However I refuse to forfeit,
For I am fighting external forces with this existential forklift,
Uplifting my energy, channeling my inner G ,
When I step I centipede then with this the pen I bleed,
Think it's all a process of auto-biology,
I'm always overthinking- in need of an auto-lobotomy,
I'm the hero and the villian in my autobiography,
So its a automatic mutiny for this auto-autonomy,
It's self righteous how felt this self fight us,
It's shelf life is kelp like but felt like years ,
They say that legends never die,
Oh this lonely hell of mine,
The look of death ever present on my absent mind,
Long-winded, but these spurts of happiness are short-lived,
**** bingeing , cups overflowing with beer,
My thoughts Tinted, heavy drinking till I'm light-headed,
I don't eat or get sleep ,
Steady thinking, "where's my life headed??"
Need to stop running my mouth,
Too busy tryin to exercise these demons,
I keep pushing my luck, and im exhausted from this heaving,
Heavy breathing , and sold separately are these hellish hiccups,
My nightmare begind every mornin when I sit up...

Learned more from this pain than i ever did from a church.
Listening to your gut but make sure you detox it first.
**** be killin me softly, leave me in a Hearse,
Never a good thing when i hear from you first.
Be careful what you see,
even salt look like sugar,
Maturity is not throwing salt when you know you could've,
And not smackin ******* when you know you should've.
People Be like "oh i miss you"
**** i miss me too.
Had to use these teflon tissues to get me thru,
You not alone, **** i wanna be with me too,
Deadass On some days , smiles were too good to be true.
I be business minded when i be minding my business.
And ****** be ******* and ******* be on some ***** ****.
Overcame this novocain,
Recasted the impression of depression,
Ring around the rosary,
Never relying on religion.

Im from a home of funny bones
And My elbows been ashy,
I knew It would take more than macaroni art to kraft me,
And i been itching for this platform
If you ask me,
I used to wonder if i was a real person.
I used to wonder like what's my real purpose?
When i was young ,I taught my shadow to stick to my toes,
When lifes a battle, I fought to stick to mottos.
As a poet i never looked at it this way,
I never booked myself for this reading.
I was overbooked.
I bookmarked my favorite moments ,
I been forever overlooked.
And never understood what "more" ment,
I been overcooked.
The preheating of this season left me bleeding.
This farenheit left me heavy breathin
No fear of heights but Excuse me while I fall from
- grace -
me with your presence and
These broken promises,
Never been transparent to this degree,
Had to leave that monster house.
That was my American horror story.
I used to be couped up,
Had to tell double d to get outta my laboratory,
See mfs want my jazz but not my blues,
They Wanna be in my class but aint payed they dues,
Yall be Morally incorrect,
....More or less...
Lately i been Moralless,
Need to get saved no church bells ,
Put me on the zach Morris list,
These rhymes be like my confessions,
Front row seat to my ascension,
Carry out this life to which we've been sentenced,
Delivery me from evil - with even more incentives,
I dream in MLA format.
Double spaced a letter to my younger self,
Just some **** I wish i told the older me
A ***** laundry list of things I thought ought to be owed to me,
My OCD be blowin me,
Need all my ducks in a row,
My prolonged silence been leading this Crescendo,
Im not playing NO GAMES, fuxk you and your Nintendo.

All this stress that I bench press is senseless..
But the armor called my mind is dent-less,
My strength is relentless, so its life that i resent less,
Claim my words were hurtful, so i sent less,
They say time is money - so I spent less,
The smell of victory is sweet almost scent less,
Still waiting to exhale like Angela - I'm vent-less,
But i wanna succeed more than breathe - I don't need no air
Life's like Jordan when he sparks, just unfair,
Past is foggy never crystal clear but in a sense,
She said I stole her innocence.
And the sin of men are girls with skin like cinnamon,
Then we're friends -
Caress her chin & I begin to sin again
But it was she who fell on knees,
Cause my words were murderous, some equate to felonies,
In plain sight even Helen Keller sees,
The darkness overtakes unexpectedly
But like Inspector Lee - my sue young was too young but still brought out the best in me.

...a demented entity had entered me,
Imposing its will relentlessly,
I was moving nonsensically,
Blocking blessings that were meant for me,
These days I'm indecisive , And my vices are devisive,
My minds a rolling pair of dice and is the opposite of what paradise is..
Never been a better time to better myself.
I guess I had to go through things.
Never been a better time to bet on myself.
I guess its best to grow through things.
I never cared - I was careless ,
I feared being afraid - or maybe I was afraid to be fearless,
Thinking before I speak, I swallow my second guesses,
Sinking beneath my feet, I wallow in expected messes,
I guess I'm paradoxing, cause the problem could be possibly me,
Shadowboxing , dipping, dodging , but this pain I can't see,
Physically I'm fit, never been more mentally unhealthy,
Crazy how this emptiness can feel so heavy..
Still,
Filled to the brim, with testosterone and lighting,
I remember I used to walk like thunder,
these feelings I keep fighting, won't let em take me under,
Cause..
Some days I be feeling cloudy with a chance,
Others like I can build the twin towers with my hands,
Reality is different at first glance,
But this towels in my hands , washed clean ..tryin to save face,
Devoured the food for thought ,
But I forgot to sat my grace,
I can't gain from this wait,
A rare form of bulimia,
But belive me im breathing with the strength of bohemians,
The irony is that things unfolded to this exact moment in time,
I chose to dismantle MY solitude/ hopefully for something sublime,
It's funny how things work/
I guess I missed the punchline,
I'm at the used heart salesman/
standing in this lunch line ,
Missed my train of thought/
Too busy tryin to claim baggage,
Playing the cards I been dealt/
With this full house , im Bob Saget...

I read minds and break hearts.
I break rules then fall apart.
I was living a nightmare, like Freddy vs Jason,
**** left my psyche with Knicks and bruises -
Im the new Anthony Mason,
Mfs was movin foul, soon got upgraded to a flagrant,
I was in the cut bumpin Indicud,
I felt like Elmer Fudd cause of the backstabbing i was facing,
I soon got aquainted..with the fragrance, of defeat,
Thought revenge was sweet,
I had **** twisted like a twizzler,
Jealousy is for the weak,
You gotta live with your decision but them emotions are just visitors,
I couldn't stomach it .
My arrangements was far from edible,
I made a mess of the amendments
Im a of a man mess - I got a list of demands...
Im always on a different tune from the rest of the band,
I refuse to just sit and watch but this is more than i can stand,
Life was a beach..
My coral reef was in disbelief - My castles were made of sand.


You gotta learn to appreciate the darkness.
I was too proud to beg your pardon ,
I preferred the isolation - coulded help but be guarded,
Sometimes you gotta take that step back, like Harden,
And sink some of them boats filled with feelins you been harboring,
I was feeling more like Malcom - less like Martin,
My cruise was less controlled, My directives were departed,
***** I been hard to reach & outta touch,
been tryin to get a grip but been stuck in a rut,
I had an underlying desire to be violent.
My treble was to the left, cue the chelo and the violin,
I felt the hate on my skin and my distain was topical,
My blood was boiling but my climate was far from tropical,
It was a wrap for ****** but my plans always got foiled,
I was ready to strike, so like a cobra - I coiled,
I was quick to bite but took mad damage from the recoil,
****** did me *****, i was just sinkin in the soil,
I would stoop to levels with antics that resembled porch monkeys,
Was supposed to be a boss - but was movin like a flunky.
I was Jefe in my head - but was actin like a *****.
Went from optimizing opportunities to wondering where my optimism  went,
Karma had dropkicked me , left my armor with a dent,
I couldn't get through by just hoping - started swingin for the fence,
Nas said "Life's a *****" - Now Im seeing what he meant...

I would like to call my first witness to the stand, 
Will the characteristic name selfish please stand,
"Is it true, that you believe the world revolves around you?
If so , how can a ***** even evolve around you?,
That's why in conversation ****** tolk around you, 
Because if he cant walk with ,****** will walk around you,
That's meant exactly how it sounds too,
Always jumping to conclusions without sound proof,
Know how to hit me where it hurts ,with such a profound tooth,
Then when my feelings are revealed,  you become soundproof?"
You know ******* me softly , you're well known for your silky execution,
and you like a story ,
Never been one for the hasty resolution,
And for that alone is why im seeking  Restitution,

This is it. the Jury is hung,
My mind is out of it but my heart? Its  latching on to you like the song that Sam sung,
There's been too much time lost playin victim, 
Which is why I'm here to ask that you wave this indictment,
Not gonna lie and say that there is no need for conviction,
The truth is your honor,  that SHE. SHE is my addiction ,
Not a day goes by when I don't think about her,
I never say never but I never saw me without her,
But To be Frank , its tragic what she got up in her attic, I've had it with the dramatics,
it's like her formulas quadratic,
My mind is filled with static,
I tried to hit the box for clarity,
I planned 100 different ways of asking her to marry me,
But I could never get the timing right your majesty,
Then it all fell apart , miraculous, no magically.

Correct me if I'm wrong,
but I'm pretty sure I anthropologized after that dirt came up ,
dug myself a deeper hole, 
gotta learn when to shut up,
my feelings fossilized like **** I ****** up,
yea I ***** her - but that was way before we had made up,
that's why I see through you like glass when you lie and say you're not tempered,
cause you're still stained with emotions, even after my fi is sempered,
your words are tinted in the way you throw in shade,
and them ***** cut deep - apologies sharpened the blades,
lost my touch - my tunnels carpeled and feelings fade,
on my last nerve - how much before it can't be saved,
as of late...our interactions have been nothin short of taxin',
taxidermy of it's old self,
and it's a tall order for you to sit down and relax man,
my words massaged more than 40 aches and pains away
and when you felt broken I lent tools,
I listened to every gripe and grievance,
and for your burdens I was your mule,
you were my muse then but now it's far from amusing,
I visit the museum of memories for my amusement, 
often make withdrawals from my memory bank from when the fun was mutual,
there was a point and time your words used to paint murals, 
now I'm stuck in somewhere, nowhere
lost my courage and my muriel,
Now I'm ruthless as eustace,  
after my efforts proved to be useless,
im used to this, I use this - pen to write my wrongs, then I put it in a song,
I fell weak , at first strong,
This plight is too long,
my heart breaks constantly for your constant needs,
and subconsciously I know you not the break my conscious needs,
still can be my trinity but now I'm feelin more (like) Constantine, 
let's fulfill  the prophecy your the fishburne to my Keanu Reeves, 
you play hard ball so there's no need to draft replacements, 
always find myself running back - I'm Emmitt Smith if you Troy Aikman,
I'm Liam Neeson and you the reason my heart is taken,
I need amnesia these memories I see are forsaken, 
This is all new to me , maybe cause im used to you,
can't do much these days without reminders of what we used to do,
maybe I should let it be a bygone how you python,
but I'd shed skin before I shed tears,
And if our conclusion is forgone,
thats one of my worst fears,
you remind of that song I can't remember.
or that place that I've never been to.
that movie I never seen.
or that experience I've never been through, they say 7 days without prayer can make one weak,
everyday you're not there I get less sleep,
I propose a writ of habeas corpus, 
For the miscellaneous corpses that lie in her wake,
My thoughts are both heinous & cautious, 
still my candidate for this caucus,
for heaven sake..

I felt crash landed - in a strange place,
This is not how I planned it - mind in an estranged state,
Felt like a different planet - what is the strange space,
Dealt with the grapes i was handed - but I had to change the pace,
Expected enmity cause eventually everybody's an enemy,
I used my verbal anemone to protect my mental amenities,
I had to penalize penalties that tried to dismember me,
But since I moved to the peach,
Life's a beach - but with ample sand,
Scenery is asterisks and ampersands,
Bittersweet ; I asked for this,
Father stretched my hands,
I managed this time shift- now i have super visions,
No more stupid visions of voodoo superstitions,
Thought it'd be an intermission to my inner mission..

But I'm Saiyan,
A lot of Heros turned out to be Villains,
Like Some of my Gokus turned out to be Krillins,
I'm Saiyan;
Some of the Halos they held turned out to be Horns,
Some of the flowers they had handed me , had thorns,
I'm Saiyan;
I took advice from an imitation Master Roshi,
Fake homies just here for the ride, like Yoshi,
I'm Saiyan;
I had to pick a low to go on for my motivation,
I had to pick a coat to throw on for this hibernation,
I'm Saiyan;
for some reason my plight i chose to prolong,
Had them demons blowin up my cell , like Gohan,
I'm Saiyan;
I ducked advice and moved from the side of them,
Then i sacrificed ...myself-
I was on some saibaman,
I'm Saiyan;
I had to access these hidden chambers,
with my hand on my black chest,
I know I'm something greater...

At night I close my eyes and dreams are morbid
And Nightmarish nights turn to mournin mornings,
As I toss and turn,
I'm wide awake in this coma
Dreams crash and burn ,
I'm more Bart than Homer,
A trouble maker lookin for an audience,
Or the vindicator for this awful gaudiness
A fallen gladiator that refuse to call it quits,
The great debator to the proof of godliness,
A trailblazer despite my Mike Conleyness,
A heart breaker in relationships,
undertaker when it comes showmanship,
In this time of need some chose to watch like the view from my skinny wrist,
these life choices I choose come with plenty risk,
Its ten past anxiety,
A quarter to dyin,
Its half past my misery ,
And I'm almost an hour early for this journey to Zion,

Joseph said..
"The skys the limit and that's what they told the ****** fool,
I disguise my limits so I'm aiming for the sun and moon"
But peep
The sun watches all I do ,
the moon know all my secrets,
My bed knows who I am at night,
My mirror knows my weakness,
These clothes cover my scars,
(My)hearts the reason for this thesis ,
My pillow knows when I cry,
My brain knows I'm a genius,
I am not my hair, 
Feelings not welcome here,
I dont ever care,
Let me take this time to share...

I'm bigger than my body,
I'm colder than this home,
I'm meaner than my demons,
I'm bigger than my bones,
I'm sure enough to know better
I'm doubting the unknown
I'm old enough for new endeavors,
But I'm cold enough alone

Im tanning in the eternal sunshine of my spotless mind.
I'm relapsing and im napping on this bed of lies,
I'm planning different ways for mama son to shine,
I'm collapsing and unpacking my decisions are unwise,
At times I cant stand myself, I be paraplegic, 
Still want the fair one with my demons, 
Lord knows they deserve a good beating,
J hova spoke to me , and I been sparring with jesus,
After the bout, I ask what his pops been askin bout,
As he spoke, I stamp and shout, almost walked out
The more I knew the more I wish I didnt,
The more I saw the more I wish I didn't have to see,
but I realized what was bein Asked of me , as for me?
I wonder if God charge late fees ,
I wonder if moses would shop at Macy's ,
I wonder if Judas care about the babies,
I wonder if kids see ghost like Patrick Swayze,
I wonder if Allah accept collect calls ,
I wonder when karma comin to collect costs ,
I wonder if you know what it means ,
To only see the bad in goodbyes, 
Or to the good in bad habits
The love in the lies
Or that evil is a talent. ©️

Look...
Its been some long days followed by some short nights,
These days are just some short rounds in a long fight,
There's been mad short comings - come complete with long suffering,
Some **** rips and a spliff got my brain buffering,
I refuse to stand in place - Imma forever have past due posture fees,
I guess all my earnings come at the end - like an apostrophe.
See I'm trying to turn all my "soon"s  into "finally's,
Despite Mfs speaking spitefully privately,
I'm trying to be an icon -
Loved and hated like Guy Fieri,
I'm a Ferrari, but I been gassing me with the wrong oil,
I wanted to blow, but the fire was too loo for my water to boil,
I wanted to grow, but I was kicking it in the wrong soil,
I was too busy confusing movement with motion,
I was stepping out of line, parading feelings as emotions,
I was cashing in, mistaking value with pricing,
I was crapping out, was venting with my vices,
I been salivating for my salvation,
I been gravitating towards gratitude, and delayed gratification,
I been avoiding altercations, and elevating towards elation,

Cause listen..

I been off my mission,
I been consistently inconsistent,
I been reminiscing,
Been making **** the opposite of simplistic,
I been in-opportunistic,
I been devastated and dilapidated,
I been a lil faded and I been feeling ill-fated,
I been a victim of ill-will and I'm feelin irritated,
I been reaching to be featured,
I been over dozing.
I been living for the moment.
Been under pressure and my fears be over-reaching,
**** be unprecedented, I be leaning towards impeachment.
It might not change **** but it sure does help to talk about it,
All them nights I sat up in my bed and thought bout it,
Ring around the Rhonda Rousey to all them bouts i fought bout it,
I'm Jerry Rice but lousy, to all the flack i caught bout it,
Frequent failure miles for all the flack I caught bout it,
They telling me I'm Black then why i feel Golden?
They telling me its cap - is that why i feel goated?
Hardly ever pressed - is that why i never folded?
Wake me from this nap- its time i smelled the Folgers.
I wanna be filled the same way that i be pourin'..
Rich spirit with the survival skills of a poor man,
I been getting grilled and knocked the **** out like George Foreman,
And It gotta be skills the way that i be poor man,
I'm in the business of building,
****** keep ******* up my floor plans,
Can't let **** pass me by or am i destined to be a doorman?
I'm at the right address but its safe to say I'm on the far  side,
I need to see the real , not just mirages and facades..

Around this time, I felt like I was buried alive,
Around this time, I felt like I was buried in lies,
Around this ,time was suspended like berries on vine
Around this time , I shouldered everybody's burdens but mine,
Around this time, I had a sharp pain in my chest,
Around this time, Ironically, I couldn't find peace in rest,
Around this time,  periodically,  I had vivid dreams where I'd nest,
Around this time, I guess it's best to say i was depressed,
Around this time, I didnt think that i could make it,
Around this time, I couldn't smile, so I had to fake it,
Around this time, the truth I addressed and it was naked,
Around this time, I had a sickness, didnt think I could shake it,
Around this time,  deadass felt like I was in the matrix,
Around this time, steadfast, i held it together day to day kid,
Around this time,  thought my sadness to be infinite,
Around this time, my interactions were far from intimate,
Around this time,  the song in my head used foreign instruments,
Around this ,time moved in minuscule increments, 
Around this time, just existing was exhausting,
Around this time, my heart was stone cold Steve Austin,
Around this time,  I felt like I was dead but I was was walking,
Around this time, couldn't hear what was said but I was tolkin,
Around this time, it was hard for me to sit calm,
Around this time, life was like a sit-com,
Around this time, I hated uncle Sam and uncle Tom,
Around this time, I had blurred vision and sweaty palms,
Around this time,  my life was the opposite of masterpiece, 
Around this time, I was busy tryna master peace,
Around this time, I played the role of Romeo , not the son of master P
My juliet , still moody ,yet, found a way to master me,
Around this time, I almost had my soul on sale,
Around this time, I was afraid to fold or fail,
Around this time, I was blindsided,  felt the hurt like brale,
Around this time, I chose to have my truth unveiled, 
Around this time, I had a handful of missed calls,
Around this time, I had bad judgment and miscalls,
Around this time, I had less deposits than withdrawals,
Around this time, I had less ******* with wet drawls,
Around this time, I sat slumped with idol eyes,
Around this time , I struggled to get thoughts itemized,
Around this time, my congratulations were ionized
Around this time, I needed someone positive to idolize,
Around this time,  i lacked X's and O's. Couldn't make a play
Around this time, Inbox infested with ex's and hoes , couldn't stay away
Around this time, felt blood rush to my nose , couldn't stay awake
Around this time, my thoughts flood, I reaped what I sewed, I needed a break,
Around this time, I had the mindset of a fast fool,
Around this time, I had thought that cash ruled,
Around this time, I ate a lot of fast food,
Around this time, I was often in a bad mood,
Around this time, I had a distinct aura,
Around this time,  the horoscopes couldn't even scope my horrors,
Around this time, I felt like boots with no Dora,
Around this time,  I felt like kylie with no Sora
Around this time, I encountered a lot of false hearts
Around this time, i Had a lot of false starts
The happiness was very likely
The pain was felt under my armor a lot of things I didnt nike.

Why must I sleep upside down just to wake up right,
At dusk I see sounds just as ghouls come at night,
I'm trying to be immortalized.
And remain with immune from immoral mortal lies,
Ans see the divine with my own 3 mortal eyes,
I just hope all my bonds are covalent,
And my health's in good stock,
I just hope all my thoughts are coherent,
Why I start to feel like the new Tupac
Or like the son of Odin,
Washed clean in frank's ocean,
I walk like thunder but every night ***** every day up.
Everyday I think about the things I gave up.
I think like yo -
What if all my heavy sighs i had to weigh up?
What if I got lost and time forgot to wait up?
Took a hiatus in Hades, what if I never found a way up?
Every night I think like "yo, what if I gave up?"
We wishin on the same stars - just on different nights,
I'm on a mission, same start - we just on different plights.
A lab rat stuck in an elaborate labyrinth,
A wunderkind stuck in his own wonderland,
Wade Wilson with no blades to wander with,
Majin Buu meandering in his mental maze,
Thor with no Mjolnor, no cats to thunder with,
I'm more Marth than Icarus and I made it out the pit.

I read somewhere your dreams don't give a **** about your fears,
Cause sometimes they the same thing,
And that schemes come about from peers,
Cause sometimes they after the same things.
This the type of **** that don't get no hook,
I was filling my lane but life had hit me with the no look,
highly unprepared - I bobbled and fumbled it,
Had to remember my affirmations - I uttered and mumbled it,
It go like:
What happens to the words that you never say?
What happens to the games that people decide not to play?
What happens to the moon in the middle of the day?
What happened to the other 49 shades of Grey?
What happens if Captain Jack never got to parlay?
What if Barbosa never found the 9 pieces of 8?
Or better yet like,
What if Peter Pan never landed?
What if I squeezed the lemons that life had handed?
What if I realized I'm at a disadvantage?
What if I finally admit that I'm damaged?
If you don't heal what hurt you - you bleed on those who didn't cut you.
This important content.
This is a message from my impaired cortex.
This is the imported fears complete with a weird flex.
This the pectoral on my body of work.

Shedding skin as and treading water.
Lucid dreams of my miscarried daughter.
Miscarry-on my wayward son,
i stumbled on and off the path,
the wayward one.
but that's a misnomer,
the division I felt towards the end of midsummer,
Its just that some of my steps were misnumbered,
Im thinking less or feelin more, just feel..numb-er,

Relapse, from my preparation anxiety,
Its tearing me apart..
and im tearing up from the perforations inside of me,
I need some separation,
Im beside myself.
I need a different interpretation,
I despise..myself.
Dyin is easy but see living is the hard part,
Been that way since I learned to read rainbows,
Since Arthur was aardvark,
I feel like the Black Kratos,
My thoughts was all dark,
Needed armor for my karma,
Im a poor mans Tony Stark,
Had to build myself up,
Stepped on my own legos,
Had built up aggression,
On me it had a negative effect on,
I needed to let go and i was often *******,
and was tired of getting ****** on.
But the urination proved to be useful,
The kidney stones of my past, had passed-
that pain don't hurt like it used to,
This irrigation was aggravating but we all going through some ****,
Just try and focus on the **** you do do,
Been down bad,
Been living out a bag,
Some celestial colostomy - some vibration voodo,
I use my that so raven complex-
to guide me through this conquest,
I can try and explain this concept,
But its hard to take it outta context....

Yo to keep it 100 -
If I could go back in time I wouldn't.
Let the records hold they place.
I'm done tryin to convince you both the things I been threw.
Before my jersey was in  the rafters,
I was like Vince before he left the Raptors,
Bounding over boundaries like I had shox in my shoes.
You see I tried to impress the judges - I was shocked by the boo's,
My heart turned colder than Toronto cause all my exes were actors,
See I had to ditch diplomacy ; depend against my attackers,
I felt like a loan warrior and then suddenly - I grew,
My limbs stretched further than my imagination,
My torso was more so like a river basin,
but as my body grew in size , the guilt I carried did too,
Before I knew it - my shadow covered the ground like a sheet,
Amazed by the mass I had amassed - I was in disbelief I now stood more than 81 ft,
Now everything I never knew was within my reach,
But peep
The burdens that I bear be on some revenant.
I fed my guilt, it fed off me - I was JUST like Rick Moranis.
I'm Ja Morant or maybe more like Miles Morales..
I'm more and more embarrassed ..by the Aurora Borealus..... left by my shame.
I was forced to swallows my pride - **** be ****** up my larynx,
But I'm boarding up my barracks,
And I'm suggesting you to do the same,
I'm running gags like lil homie from home alone,
I been on DND ever since karma called my home,
Mfs want my jazz but not my blues - I'm more like Karl Malone,
I tried to blame the refs for my fugue state,
when it was me that here .. in the first place.
The victim was the culprit.

Over me it loomed -
dropped an anvil of anguish like they do in ****** tunes,
I'm hangin on by a thread not even lilo could stitch me,
Had to walk it like I talk it - fate tied the shoes on my tongue,
My skin singed by the sharp pain of the 1000 looks,
My skull crushed under the weight of 1000 books,
I had to eat my words, I couldn't stomach it,
My indigestion was incomprehensible,
My miscomprehension of of my tendons was indefensible,
The guilt of feelin like a ship with no direction.
That gut feelin to cut feelins cause **** get deep like a Cesarean Section..

I survived things I thought were worth fighting for.
I survived worse things, so now I'm fighting forward.
I survived cursed things, that frightened more.
I survived things I fought but been slighted for.
I survived having to make ends meet.
I survived splashing cause the pool was more than 10 ft.
I survived a thrashing & jabbing the ****** concrete.
I survived the teeth gnashing cause we ain't have nothing to eat.
I survived about at least 4 foreclosures.
I survived ignoring doubt, just for closure.
I survived things that ended in my own exposure.
I survived enduring drought just for full disclosure.
I survived being back-stabbed and betrayed by my beloved.
I survived being flayed, filleted and flummoxed.
I survived being led to the lake by the lazy lummox.
I survived both blades and flames in my stomach.
I survived dreams where I was falling.
I survived falling forward on the path of my calling.
I survived calling it quits on the plans of my offing.
I survived apples with poisoned pits , that were offered.
I survived having to spare shekels and hide.
I survived my very own version of Jekyll and Hyde.
I survived diluted deities, Ms. Dee Dee and diabetes.
I survived debbie downers and debutantes.
I survived double doubters and deadly taunts.
I survived some double crossings - dealing haunts,
I survived tempted tantrums and tethered thoughts.
I survived the boondocks and the tricks of the babadook.
I survived bad trips and the trips that papa took.
I survived self destruction of the 3rd degree.
I survived self construction with less debris....