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 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
Raven
Me
 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
Raven
Me
No food
No sleep
I can't let these things reach out and speak sweet lies
I can't let food call my name
I can't let sleep drown my thoughts

I shouldn't eat
I can't sleep

This is me

I am broken girl
Who can't eat
In fear I weigh too much

I am a broken girl who can't sleep
For my thoughts and memories
Haunt me too much

I am a broken girl who answers 'how are you?'
With 'I'm alright' even when I'm not even close
Because I don't want you to worry
I don't want you to fret
Over a broken soul

I am a broken girl who says 'I have been busy'
when someone asks me why I haven't done something
I have been busy just not in the way they think
I have been busy trying not to give into hunger
I have been busy fixating on how I'm broken
I have been busy
But not in the way they think

I am a broken girl who has let her demons
creep up on her too much

I am a broken girl who has surrendered
her soul

I am a broken girl who dates so she feels
worth something because I don't when I'm alone

I date because I need to depend on someone
Because I am not dependable for anyone
Let alone myself

I date so I can hear someone say I love you
So I can hear someone call me beautiful
Cute
Amazing
And so many other things
Even if I don't believe it

I am a broken girl who has lost so many relationships
Five to death
And so many others just because they left
I was no longer good enough
No longer happy enough
No longer
PRETENDING

I am a broken girl who pretends
And when I stop people leave

Because I am too broken

I am too clingy

I am too demanding

I'm just not enough

Or I'm too much

THIS IS ME

But no one sees
Until I let them

And when I do they worry

But please don't worry
Because you didn't when you didn't know
So why worry now?

I'm still the same me
You just couldn't see all the flaws that my eyes do

You don't see the way I do

I see a girl who's eyes are too big

I see a girl who isn't thin enough

I see a girl who's hair doesn't suit her no matter what

I see a girl with too many scars

I see a girl
But I don't

For all I can see now is a walking flaw

And no one knows that
THIS IS ME
April/ 19/ 2018/ 10:19 AM
 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
She Writes
**** doesn’t always hide
At parties and outside clubs
**** doesn’t always hide
In dark alleys and empty parking lots
Sometimes it is right in front of you
But you choose to look the other way
**** doesn’t always hide
Behind the faces of strangers in the night
Sometimes it is hiding behind the closed doors
Of your uncles
Cousins
Fathers
And brothers
**** isn’t always loud-
Screaming, yelling, and crying
Sometimes **** is quiet-
Gasping for air and silent tears
 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
Rose
Bruises
 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
Rose
Today we had a fight.
I’m not sure how it started,
Or who raised their voice first.
All I know is that now I have bruises.
Ones that sting when you touch them.
You tried to apologize.
You tried to clean me up,
And make me feel better.
But bruises take time to heal.
And so do cuts and scratches.
I can’t forgive you right now.
But the bruises will heal soon.
And then all will be better.
Because I can’t be mad at you.
Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut then we wouldn’t be like this.
Maybe if I wasn’t so sensitive then we wouldn’t have these problems.
Today we had a fight and I’m not sure where it started.
All I know is that I have bruises and cuts and scratches.
That could have been avoided,
If I just kept my mouth shut.
3-14-18
 Dec 2019 Lavanya Jain
Erian Rose
Bloodstained skin
Isn't the answer
For a heart broken in two
One of my friends is thinking of leaving - for good. I don't know what to do. I really care for them but they think life isn't worth it anymore. I need help.
 Sep 2019 Lavanya Jain
rey
addiction
 Sep 2019 Lavanya Jain
rey
i crave you
as if you were nicotine
i want you
even if you poison me
i miss you
though you disregarded me
you’re like a drug
i can’t stop craving
even when you hurt me
i just need another hit
to resolve the pain
of your absence
i was nothing to you
i never understood
but now you’re gone
and i’ve moved on
but the emptiness
still lingers
i miss the touch
of your fingers
but yours do not
miss the touch of me.
The Street that they called Lies,
Was scary as anything could be.
It was dark, lonely, and very deathly,
But it would not scare me.

The Street that they called Strength,
Was an incredible legend of might.
But even he had days where he,
Would lose the will to fight.

The Street that they called Love,
Was a different beast from the rest.
More than all the others combined,
It put me to the test.

It tore me from logical thought,
And clouded all my judgement.
But for all that I tried to pull away,
I was held down like cement.

It made me feel amazing,
And I could not simply refuse,
The joy it gave me every day,
The energy that you could reuse

One day the Street let me go,
And I wandered for a bit.
Not knowing what to do with myself,
I felt like quite the twit.

What happened to my energy?
I lacked the will to move
Like a dancer without his music,
I lost the will to groove.

I think I may be cursed,
From that awful, dreadful street.
The Street that they called Love,
The street where I will retreat
By Eshan Bhatt
Life is like a Canvas.
Where one can paint their picture,
Of who they were, and what they did.
More telling than any scripture.

It's sad when one loses a Canvas,
Where a picture could have been created.
Out of their hands this decision was,
No one at fault, no one to be hated.

You never will know the day,
When your Canvas might be lost.
So paint the best picture ever made,
Live your life no matter the cost.
By Eshan Bhatt
There are moments in life,
Where you fail to see,
The plain and obvious meaning

You fail to see,
What can't be seen,
The frustration leaves you screaming

It would be more simple,
If we could speak our words,
Without playing this silly game

Because you and I know,
This has gone too long,
And it's starting to get really lame

You know I like you,
I know you like me,
So let's explore these furtive signs

You already have me ******,
Stop playing these charades,
Enough reading between the lines
Remember a time when you had feelings,
I’m sure you can remember once or twice,
When you lost control of yourself,
And with dissapointment, you paid the price

To find someone who understood,
The traits of your self-being,
A person with striking qualities,
A person who gives you meaning

But to this day I have failed,
To find a person who cares,
A person who truly gives a ****
A person as much as I do them

And every time I try to figure out,
If this person could give me meaning,
I am always left in pieces in end,
My heartbeat is forever screaming

And so I wonder why I even try,
Because I can’t imagine a situation,
Where I can let my emotions be free,
Not subject to constant cremation

One day this might change,
My emotions I will tame,
But right now in the present,
My heartbeat screams the same.
When the petals all fall,
You will hear the call.

The howl to save the day.
The game which you must play.

Dangerous rules there are.
The solution seems so far.

So determined you must be,
To be the one to see,

The way to end it all.
The route is not so small.

Perseverance you shall need.
Not love, hate, or greed.

To ensure the well being of all people.
Every church to every steeple.

Don't ever give up the cause.
Don't ever stop or pause.

Because you know that if you do,
This game you will surely lose.
By Eshan Bhatt
P.S. - If you get the chance read the short story by Richard Connell i believe. It's quite good

— The End —