Clawing at my throat
I am.
I cant seem to breathe. But somehow
I am
I couldn't stop the crying but now
I am
And im okay
I am
Im not still clawing
Im not.

Roaring breeze approaches
Freeing leaves of their raindrops
Left by morning shower

Little child dancing
freely in the public square,
may you live boldly.

Little boy singing
lovely within her midst,
grace your sister's ears.

Little kid running
through life's maze without a care-
Please be free, be free.

Little child growing
up through all life's burdens be
always sweet and true.

It’s the kind of sadness where your rib cage
Contorts
And twists and
Snaps.

Depression doesn’t float through my veins
It crawls through my bones, with dagger hands
And winding movements.

I cannot breathe.

And yet there was nothing taken from me.

keep your eyes closed love.

           e     t      
       m           i
    o                 m
s                        e  
                            s     all you have to
                                                                ­
                                                                ­ l                  to is what the sound
                                                           ­      i            n
                                                  ­                s           e
                                                               ­          t

                                                              ­                               v
                                                               ­                         a        e
                             ­                                          of the  w               s
                                                               ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­            tells  you
                                                                ­                                        to do.

Thank you father for teaching me.
Your subpar parenting and lack of anything taught me to be a much better man.
You see father I am a Dad.
This accomplishment didn't come from books or any sort of guidance from you father.
It came when my son was born.
I knew that day I would do anything for him. I became a Father and a dad at the same time.
Unfortunately you are just my father.
A lower case father.
An ignorant man not dad
Never am I like you ever
For I am a Dad

We sense it because it comes inexorably,
this is the beginning  of good-bye.
Her eyes avert his, a touch with no
feeling, a caress more cautious than
caring, a kiss when lips do not meet,
this the beginning of good-bye.
A perfunctory placement of the hand,
a conversation moribund, sipping
scotch and sodas in silence, a call that
never comes, memories that have grown opaque,
this is the beginning of good-bye.

Copyright 2020 Tod Howard Hawks