Judged by your shell
Unsure everyday
In our so called great

I never worried
never had to
You had to
You have to
You live this
You have to
My eyes are opening
My ears are listening
My heart is braking
My voice is starting
I want to scream

I'm not venting
I have no right to
Because I'm not you

But I can listen
We all should listen
Because I forget
I guess we all forgot

I could keep writing
does it mean anything?
Can we hear anything?
We will forget everything again tomorrow
We always do

So sad

Packing for the change
See you soon
Last box, last check
See you soon
Last hugs for a while
See you soon
I'm not ready for last
So see you soon
Goodbye is so final
So I will see you soon
I hated that last box

What else do I have but hope
Smiles reflecting back
brings me hope
Eyes I can not see through
But I still hope
Hoping I can understand
Why are we here today?
Praying still doesn't comprehend
this day today
Helpless with everything
control of nothing
I am all in but helpless
But I still hope

If it looks like ****
Don't touch it
If it smells like it
Move from it
If you step in it
Wave your foot around
Rub it in the grass around
Don't take NO ****.

Father not a
Choice was mine I guess mine
I went with the father
Because brother did
Mom in corner
Crying
Hands held pulling her ankles in
I past her by without a look
I was a man now
I picked what my bro did
Didn't even pause by Mom
I was young
But should have stopped
Hugged. Loved

I stood at her door some time after.
Asking to come in forever.
This little frightened kid.
She smiled as she opened the door.
Your welcome here always son
I stepped in with no judgement
Door closed behind
My heart at ease
I love you Mom.
You just changed my life.

Shadows of voices
I can hardly hear
Breeze through my windows
I thought you were here
Wake with heartbeat racing
But your no where near
I turn, close my eyes

Shadows of voices
Whispers to me
Dad I'm ok.
And I will be
Leave your window open
Feel the breeze
Be at ease Dad