I scrub and I scrub
The stains won't go
They stain the sink

The water washes it away
It spirals down the drain
The stain still stays

My hands are raw
But I see no point in bleeding
It still stains the sink

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to give you a hug
But I don’t feel my hands anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to whisper words in your ears
But I don’t feel my tongue anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to buy you a present
But I don’t have my money anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to cheer you up
But I can’t

So I’ll poke my eyes out instead

We dance in the ashes like
Literary scavengers.
In the ruins and after rages
We draw the shreds of words and pages
Around our naked bodies like Blankets,
A quilt of the quintessential struggle
Which all people suffer

Round and round and round I whirl
I exist to pirouette, to twirl.

A sea of jewels at my feet shimmer,
They twinkle, glisten, shine and glimmer.

A rich array of cherished treasure,
Of value far too great to measure.

I hear the music as I turn…
The only tune I’ll ever learn.

My pose is ever full of grace,
A smile is fixed upon my face.

My hair is twisted into a perfect pleat
My ballet points laced on my feet.

My pink tutu stands out starched and straight,
As I mechanically revolve, rotate.

My spinning trajectory gently slows
My jolting pivot draws to a close.

And I’ll stand stock still until rewound
To again start swirling round and round.

And I swallow metaphoric medication
Until they burn down my throat

And similes are like cereal for breakfast
With which I refuse to partake

My words bleed out
Personifying my grief

Hyperbole is too big a mass I can explain
It would take years to finish

Would roses choked in thorns be a symbol of oppression
Or a nature of destruction in beauty

Take me to the emergency room
I'm sick of this language I speak

since I lost you i’ve been searching

everywhere to find what we had

I search in

people
    books
        friendships
            music

but I can’t find it

what we had wasn’t something you can find in an object or a warm body

what we had was a rainfall during a drought

water for the thirsty

food to the hungry

what we had was something I needed and longed for

and i’ll never have that again