I sprint through fire
But it's never enough,
To keep the blood pumping
To keep up the rush,

To work up a sweat
And purge all the waste,
The insatiable thirst
For a relentless chase,

The thrill of a hunt
For beauty and art,
To inject through the skin
And into the heart,

Exorcise all evil
And shatter the chains,
Of a beautiful mind
That was branded insane.

Too much static on the phone,
Slurred words like an electronic
Intoxication
That only the creatures of the night could translate,
I wait for you to finish,
To quit pouring out your heart
For no real reason.
Why are there tears?
Why are there tantrums?
I find myself throwing back the blades,
Words so sharp
It's like I am there plunging them
Into you myself.
I shake,
I quiver,
The stream of assailing aggression
Drowning the mouthpiece
Until I am sure it'll burst into flames
And shatter into oblivion.

I like to think of myself as a piece of paper,
Delicate,
Easily scrunched into a ball
And disposed of,
With ease you can punch
A hole through me,
I can be torn apart
At the hands of another
And be discarded.

But as fragile as I may appear,
I also possess strength that no one
Could ever conjure in their head.
I absorb ink,
Preserving the overwhelming
Creativity that flows,
I can be folded
Over and over again
Until I am an origami masterpiece,
I can be the vessel
Of vast knowledge,
Used as a means of holding
Secrets that everybody
Wants hidden.

The best part is,
Is that I can be recycled,
No matter how many times
I am broken down
I am transformed,
And every essence,
Every fibre of my being
Exists in every corner
Of the world.

I don't want you to miss me
Like an arm or a lung.
I would miss you like that
If you hated me, if you were gone,
And maybe you'd feel
The same.
But away as you are
Reluctantly,
Briefly,
In love and in faith,
I hope you miss me smaller,
Lighter,
Warmer.
I want missing me to go with you wherever you are
Not like a raincloud or a looming shadow
But like
Like a small love note
A little slip of paper, almost inconsequential,
Something you see and smile and think,
"I'll keep this."
Something you fold up small and slide into the bottom of your coat pocket
And fiddle with whenever you're bored or lonely
And maybe sometimes you forget it, maybe it doesn't always catch your notice
But then the wind blows and in the cold you push your hands
Deep into those pockets
And your fingers brush the thought of me and how I love you
And a smile spreads across your face.
Maybe you take it out and look it over,
And then decide to put it back so that can happen
All over again.
I want you to miss me like that.
I want it to be something sweet and small, something that can travel with you
And never weigh you down.
It's true that I think of you whenever I am sat in silence for more than a moment
And I do the same sort of thing
Maybe too often, maybe too fondly.
Maybe my little love note would be creased and worn
And rubbed a little blurry from the pads of my fingers tracing your words.
But nonetheless
You are so easy to take along with me
The thought of you so warm and comforting and
Light
But strong.
I want that for you.
I want to be easy to hold
So that maybe you will never
Let me go.