I never thought
I'd get off this high horse,
For my feet to touch the earth
And feel something,
No clouds to obstruct my view,
Throwing the rose tinted glasses
To the ground
And crush them into the soil,
But new realisations can be
Hard to deal with,
So I must take my time
To piece it together

The lights go out as another day
Draws to a close,
In the distance sirens of an ambulance
Ripples through the stillness
Of the night,
I ache,
I'm tired,
But I'm restless.
The staircase extends beyond my feet,
Up into a blank space
Where light cannot reach
And darkness can wait
For me to enter.
I can feel its eyes on me,
Fixated on my body
As I approach the first step.
I don't know why,
But the lingering presence
Is always there,
As if it waits with arms crossed
And draped against my bedroom door,
It sense my fear and I sense its intent:
To creep into my mind,
To feed off the chaos that stirs
Each and every day.

It is a human trait to want what is best for
Yourself,
To succeed,
To reach new heights where you almost struggle to breathe,
To make it to the top and watch what you have built thrive,
But you've lost count of how many knives
You've planted in someone else's back,
How many times you have fed off the innocence
Of one's vulnerability
And expose it to catapult your delusions higher,
You keep a tally of how many people you have
Crushed to clear your own path to the pedestal.

But everything crumbles in the end.
You hang precariously over those
Who hungrily wait for you to return
To the bottom of the food chain
Where you belong.
After all,
It is survival of the fittest
And we all want a taste of invincibility.

One shot for the sorrow,
Two to be sure,
Three for the morning
To make it a blur,
Five hours of dancing,
Six steps till I fell,
Seven minutes unconscious,
As far as I could tell,
Eight people to help,
Nine nine nine took moments to come,
Ten glasses of water,
An aspirin and then some.