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KnowOneknowsmeF Dec 2024
There is nothing left to say. You declared with audacity how I was an impediment. I recollected how pitiable I was, desperate for nothing, because it wouldn't, it didn't alter anything. So enamored was I with you, I relinquished half of myself to appease you. The superior parts of me I surrendered willingly to you, as I permitted myself to become illicitly compliant in the scheme of deceiving myself. I believed the half-truths, the falsehoods, and the empty promises. You made a wreck of me, exposing me to such debasingly immoral things. I thought I could trust you after everything we shared. I never knew such passions; I never felt such care. How was I to know none of it was genuine?

Time has elapsed, and I have healed. I have moved on, not as swiftly as you, and it didn't take another to get me here. So, the emails, the texts, the contacting my family needs to cease. It doesn't matter if I'm single. What mattered was that I had so much fight in me to save us I was a willing participant, my own collateral damage when it came to you. I allowed so much and pleaded for so long for you to see me, to love me as I did you. Like you once used to. The fool I played, for it wasn't love at all. It wasn't even lust; it was mere 'usage.' I contorted myself to fit into your world. I reinvented myself to a lower self in place of the worldly woman I once was. I infringed on my intellect and played dumb, forever the fool, all for you. And it still wasn't enough. You told me I was too strong, too independent, and so I diminished myself. My integrity be ******, I lowered my standards and discarded my boundaries to please you. All for what? For you to do exactly what I implored you not to do: to toy with me, to lie and deceive, to harm and torture, to manipulate and abuse. And even then, it wasn't enough. I was never enough.

No matter now. I have healed myself, and I have moved on. How wonderful it is to see I am nowhere near where I used to be, and the me I am today you'll never get close to. So, for all the attempts at contacting me and wanting to talk, I must let it be known I have nothing left to say!
Dealing with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging. In short, it's like being caught in a whirlwind of manipulation and self-centeredness. Narcissists often lack empathy and are primarily focused on their own needs and desires. They can be charming and persuasive, but their behavior can leave you feeling drained, unappreciated, and constantly questioning your own worth. It's a cycle of highs and lows, where you might feel valued one moment and completely disregarded the next. The emotional toll can be significant, as you're often left trying to navigate their unpredictable moods and demands.
KnowOneknowsmeF Feb 2015
I've waited a long time for this

                    craved you with all of my five senses
                                          

   conjured you up in a dream,

in my minds eye

                           I see how this will play out,

yet holding on to hope

           that you'll sooth my achy heart

&

   fill my body,
                                        

        All I can do is

                hold in my anticipation as
                
You're ******* me,
    

                     I love foreplay

but not right now

&

                                                      I love that you've left the lights on......

          I'm watching you as you're gazing at me

                                                       with that boyish devilish look

BABY

it's going to be magical

                         Oh my


you've  just entered me

so slow,

                    deeply penetrating

                              the very essence

           of my tight honey ***

                                          Love how you've just

                        put your hand on

                               my delicate throbbing bud

              stroking it

as you ****** in & out

                                       of my velveteen flower

                           my legs spread wider on their own

                     as each

                  ****** produces a diphthong sound


                       I can hear it

        and

           it's like a rising acoustic sound

as our bodies collide together-  

                                 reverberating off these walls.


                             Your lustful assault

    has me

gripping the sheets.


                          I have to cry out!

Oh my God................


I can't take it!!!


Oooo

              You're so deep,

                   swelling and as you do so

my sugar walls tighten up

I can feel myself getting wetter

                                  can fee it,

                                                                     the look on ya face say you do....


You're massive member is

                                    driving in me
  like a drill

            thrilling all five of my sense,

Baby the smell of us,

                is in the air

The feel of us meshed together

                       tantalizing every part of my skin

Your my sinful addiction Mr. D...

                            Moaning out your name over

       and over my voice is almost hoarse

can you feel it like I do,

                is it good to you like its good to me

my unyielding tormentor?

                            Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

         ­    You feel so good

      &

          I believe I'm about to erupt*......

                               WAIT,

                                    Why'd you stop

                             &

                PULL OUT!?

By:

~KnowOneKnowsMe~
  Jul 2014 KnowOneknowsmeF
DiamondGirl
Sometimes I want to be alone
Away from the others
With their judge mental eyes
Or tendency to smother

I want to be different
To stand out or apart
I want to express all that's in this foolish heart

Don't care for approval
Want to stir things up
Make them think or wonder
What the ....
  Jul 2014 KnowOneknowsmeF
Jo Hummel
O, You,
who stole my heart so long ago...
Where are you now?
I need you more than ever.
Maybe if we stay up together I'll forget
what makes me tremble at night,
and you can finally say
that someone got you something
for your birthday...
Why do I keep thinking about you...?
  Jul 2014 KnowOneknowsmeF
Twinkle
I woke up this morning
Thinking I’ll put u away from my thoughts
Think of brighter things
And work my way out

I tried to escape thinking about you
And bang! your picture flashed into my mind
All I could see was your smiling eyes
Teasing me asking me “How was I?”

How can I be?  How should I be?
Now that you’ve invaded my soul
My tears have gone dry
and there is no more of me left to cry

I thought I was strong
I thought I could stand my ground
But your smile made small of my defenses
Broke down the walls of my pretenses

You wanted me to lower my guard
Bare my heart and connect with your soul
I did and see now what’s left
Not a shred of hope you've bestowed

Ran away like the first flight
My word scared you out of your mind
You turned and blamed me for your plight
Said I was weird and irrational at worst
When all that was happening was making me loose control

I did not want to tell you how I felt
Knew you’d never understand
You’d not expect me to feel like this
Kept getting defensive and more
Up to a point I could take no more

Your words kept raining down a storm
Swirling and tossing me on a high shores.
Drowning me in my ocean of tears
Then I decided to stop
Refuse to let you hold my heart ransom anymore

I surrender to what you want to think of me
I am just a game you wanted to play
You win, I lose! that’s how it was meant to be.

I cannot change anything
I cannot want you back
But keeping you sheltered and locked in my heart
Is the only place where you cannot depart!
KnowOneknowsmeF Jul 2014
Drip

drop

Drip

as if a faucets dripping,

drip drop drip drop,

sing song sing,

bleeding limbs,

bruised

cut wrists.

Tequila & pills

easing me

into a sedation

of sweet oblivion.

limbs, wrists, tears

stinging

blending together

meshing in & out,

insistingly extracting,

melting round & round.

pins drop soundlessly

on the carpet.

Blue & red

lights flash

brightly out the window,

I can't hear,

I can't feel,

I'm fading....

colors blend,

faces fade,

shadows dim.

I see nothing,

blurred shapes

like the kaleidoscope,

twinkling

starlight's shimmering

brightly

before my eyes

I see nothing...

Only

Smudges.

By:
~KnowOneKnowsMe2~
Suicide Isn't the answer, yet it feels like there's no other choice.

Call for help, talk to someone.

Open up and realize there is so much more to live for!
KnowOneknowsmeF Jul 2014
Drip

drop

Drip

as if a faucets dripping,

drip drop drip drop,

sing song sing,

bleeding limbs,

bruised

cut wrists.

Tequila & pills

easing me

into a sedation

into sweet oblivion

blending together

meshing in & out,

insistingly extracting,

melting round & round.

pins drop soundlessly

on the carpet.

Blue & red

lights flash

brightly out the window,

I can't hear,

I can't feel,

I'm fading....

colors blend,

faces fade,

shadows dim.

I see nothing,

blurred shapes

like the kaleidoscope,

twinkling

starlight's shimmering

brightly

before my eyes

I see nothing...

Only

Smudges.

By: ~KnowOneKnowsMe2~
Suicide Isn't the answer, yet it feels like there's no other choice.

Call for help, talk to someone.

Open up and realize there is so much more to live for!

— The End —