I’m sorry for hurting you
I’m sorry for rushing this through
I shouldn’t have done it
I hope I can admit
That I was wrong
And my common sense wasn’t strong
To see the clues
That were placed few
To tell me, warn me
That I should have stayed away from the concept of we
So go, brew in your hate
Of the open gate
Of my love
That soars like a dove
When I see you, I feel at peace
And all bad things cease
But if you do not want me
Then go and flee
Back to where I can never go
Where you will glow
Just out of my reach
******* my despair like a leech
All hope lost
All love clinged onto at any cost
Go far away
While I pray
That things would have been changed
To a better reality arranged…

When two hearts moved apart, the schism became a chasm.

I’m toxic
A little psychotic
I take zyprexa, an anti-psychotic, I don’t know if it’s working
My own fault though, I keep self medicating
I take the pills they prescribe and they help but not when my mind is racing
Speed, it’s ironic really
Because it slows me down and I am able to function
I can show affection and my emotions seep out of my bones
But it causes everyone to leave me alone
Is it my fault? Is it something misdiagnosed?
I don’t know, I only know how I feel and I use when I don’t know how to deal
Life is roaring rapids, I fall out and slowly drown from what has a hold of me
I don’t know what else to do but self medicate
Its another thing I use, a crutch
When I can’t stand by myself and don’t reach out to anyone else
I’ve lost my mind, I tell everyone I’m fine
I’m always thinking of a line whether it be drugs or a rhyme
I’m not kind on the come down and I hate my entire being when I’m rude to my mom
If I were to have a clone I’d beat the **** out of myself and tell her what’s really wrong
She makes sure I have what I need especially when I wretch my sadness all over the floor
She never shuts the door in my face when I need a place, without her I would be misplaced
One night she was shrieking and it doesn’t matter that she was drinking
The feelings were in the air, they were something tangible that I could grasp without being an ***
I saw sadness, rejection, neglect, frustration, anger although it’s a secondary emotion and that’s what she uses to mask her raw emotions
I saw hatred, not for me, but the addict inside me
She’s the only one who doesn’t call me crazy, she lays in bed with me when I feel like I’m not in control
She does breathing exercises with me when I really just want to fall
I make a lot of commotion and she still loves me as her son
I am all of the above when on drugs, my heart still hurts but I’m full on love
My family and friends have been pouring it into me and that’s the only thing keeping me going
I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again, without the love there’s no reason to be alive.
Without the love, it’s failure to thrive.
Without the love, I won’t survive.

She is there , whenever i fear,
she is always there to take my care,
always lived too far, but it seemed too close,
its her kindness, choosing to live in my heart,
keeping us bound from distances apart.
For a moment there, it seemed like ,
we had some disliking,
who am i kidding,
it was always the plan for some heartfelt bonding.
To her is the tribute today,
as for she chose my life,
to fill with beautiful sun rays!

My mother is upset;
I comfort her.
My father is angry;
I calm him.
My youngest sister is scared;
I calmly comfort her.

I tell my mother:
I am bisexual;
She tries to beat it out of me.
I tell my father:
I cut myself;
He yells and screams til my ears bleed.
I tell my middle sister:
I am broken;
She hugs me and says,
That’s alright.

sunlight fell
glisten and gold
come snow;
bloom and bold

my cold hands…    
    she still holds.

you and me,
are in an unfinished story,
that kind which the ending is made cliff-hanging,
but there's usually a sequel coming.

but you and me,
won't make it into the next book,
even after a year of writing.

because you and me,
parted ways for good.

but I am still living in one of those chapters,
Should have make my character dead.