Years have passed and I have moved on
Those feelings that I had were gone
But here I am to tell you
"It was a mistake to lean on you"

Those times, yes I do miss
Those times before all of these
And here I am to let you see
"It was my mistake to be deceived"

I remember the times of laughter
I remembered the smile where I was mesmerized
But it was too late when I realized
"It was a mistake to believe in happily ever after"

I might have stayed with you
I might have still loved you
But then you set me free
"It was a mistake to hurt me"

Now you suffer the way I suffered
You were truly the one I loved
Now, I'm just here to let you know
*"It was a mistake to let me go"

I want to kiss you, to feel your soft lips against mine.
I need to stay away, I know my kind and I'll leave you hurting every night.
I want to be numb, to turn myself away from the world, away from the dark crevices in my prison we call a mind.
I need to feel something anything, to connect with people who will set my soul on fire.
I want to close my eyes, swear away the world and all the people who have hurt me.
I need to open my eyes, accept what has happened and move forward.
I want to breakdown and curl up in a ball.
I need to keep my chin up, wipe away my tears and push my way forward.
I want to hate, so I can move on.
I need to love, so I can hold on...
~P.S.

Love...
A word so easily used, yet almost always abused.
Love.
What I used to say to you.
I love you.
Now the words are stuck in my throat and drip off the tip of my tongue bit by bit like honey, since the day you hurt me more than words could ever explain.
Yet after all of this all you could say to me was "I love you, I never meant to hurt you.
I love you, I'll never do it again.
I love you"
The words coming out of your mouth, rattling my bones, making me lean towards you and need you again.
You are a succubus luring me to my death,
and all I can do is look into your deceiving eyes helplessly and let you take my soul.
Love.
A word I thought I knew but am now learning that I truly know nothing about.
Love.
You tell me you love me yet your still walking on clouds as you are watching me drown underneath you.
Love.
And yet through all of this pain blossoming throughout my mind all I can think is that I'll love you forever.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.....
~P.S.

I can hear you knocking.
Not on my door,
But on my mind.
I close my eyes.
Cover my ears,
Trying to resist your sweetness,
Cause underneath you hide,
Your true motives.
I dig my nails into bed sheets.
I'm splintered, broken,
Trying to use glue on my soul,
Putting myself back together,
Piece by shattered piece.
You told me you would never hurt me,
Yet the bruises on my body tell that your lying.
But those don't compare to the bruises you left on my heart.
It bleeds every time it beats.
My mind is swarmed,
Of all the promising things you whispered in my ear.
They were lies, all lies.
As I sit on my bed I feel as though I'm being ripped apart at the seams.
I lay down and hold myself.
Slowly unraveling in my own hands..
~P.S.

My heart is like the rain.
It is constantly persuaded by the change in the wind to go somewhere else.
Even though it knows where it truly wants to be.
As it drips and sinks into the earth
knows it must try again.
So when the clouds pull me back up to the Sun I plan on how I can land on your cheek.
Just so I can caress you one last time.
But as I drip off that cloud, suddenly I am changed and I miss again...
~P.S.

That bitter sweet kiss we shared,
On the side of the road in the rain,
It reminds me of whiskey.
Warm and bitter when you taste it,
But for those who aren't used to it,
It makes you sick to your stomach.
I pull you close knowing,
Like the seasons you must go.
But I cannot wait for you to come back to me.
Your hug comforts me,
Like the warm winds in the Fall.
I watch you walk away,
Like how the sun hides away from the moon.
I will sit here in my own darkness and wait for the morning,
Cause when morning comes
You will come back shining like the Sun, moon and all the stars.
~P.S.

As we lay here,
Lost in our melodic laughs.
I can't help but stare into your eyes.
I can see galaxies hidden into them.
I get this overwhelming urge to move closer,
I want to know you,
I need to know you.
Your smell reminds me of soft flowers,
Its more addictive than *******,
And I swear I'm getting higher than an astronaut could ever dream.
I have always been a lover of the night,
But your smile captivates me more than the moon and all the stars ever could.
So as I'm walkin in the dark tonight,
Looking up at the moon,
The only thought on my mind is you.
So as I'm singing loud,
I sound like a wolf howling to the moon.
For I know that I am an animal,
And anything I touch with my teeth,
I will surely destroy..
So I know I must let you go,
But I will still sing to you at twilight,
With the hope lifting my heavy heart,
That you might hear my song to you..
~P.S.

We're drowning
Together at least
I try to move for the surface
But you pull my hand
As if to say it's too far
And for all I know
It might be
So I rest at the bottom
Right next you
I feel the air almost gone
And then you go
You betray me
You push me to boost yourself
Looked me in the eye the whole time
And I always will remember that look
Not sadness
Not regret
It was more like anger
Like you had won
And while you swam to the top
I watch you
As my air
Is completly
*Gone

The instant I am away from you,
I can feel your absence.

Where your hand was on my hand,
When your fingers were laced with mine,
I feel where your hand was supposed to be
And the spaces between my fingers that are now left empty.

I want you with me so I don't have to feel your absence.
I look at you because I know there will be a day where I won't be able to see you anymore.
Whether I must shut my eyes to say goodbye as you love another, or when you have exhaled a breath where inhaling doesn't come next.

So as I lay here without you,
I am missing you.
But I am not sad,

I am simply feeling where you're supposed to be.