You ignited within my soul a flame,
A flicker of fire, I fear I won't be able to tame.
I must warn you, I'm a rebel.
And right now, I have an overwhelming desire to play with your fire.

•Reflections•

Comfortably numb, he floated amongst the sky. The darkness reflected in his soul and the stars reflected in his eyes.


But there was an overwhelming peace that was found in the darkness. An emptiness inside him that finally felt whole. There, he found his nightmares suppressed and his suffocating emotions put to rest.


And in the loneliness, he somehow found company. The stars accepted his melancholy madness and his heart was inspired by their glimmering confidence.


He watched and danced in amazement as they eagerly caught the wishes and dreams that were sung from the world below. Full of hope and desperation from those tired hearts that beat slow.


His lungs embraced the open calmness that covered everything that slept above and he was enveloped by something majestic, he could only describe it as love.


The brokenness inside him mending with every breath that he breathed. His body was weightless, beauty encased in everything he could see.


And he realized in that moment, he had finally found the place he was longing for, the place where he could infinitely be free.

My heart was in front of me,
And my fears left behind.
She was everything but she was nothing,
And she consumed every part of my mind.

She told me to drop my weapons,
So I let all my defenses go.
But her intent was never to love me,
I'm a fool.
But then again, how was I supposed to know?

What started as a flame,
Quickly became a roaring fire.
She ruined all that I treasured within,
So why do I still desire her?

She crept inside me and grabbed hold of my soul,
She took every part she wanted,
Leaving nothing for my own.
"Say you're in love with me.."
She beckoned, knowing I was weak,
Aha! She has control now,
Menacingly kissing me on the cheek.

I've come to learn that pleasing her is impossible,
At least for any period of time,
Always manipulating to get what she wants,
If you don't do exactly what she says, you've done a major crime.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater I guess,"
She said aloud as we walked under the moon.
It's my fault for believing from that statement, I was immune.

So with all the strength I have built for myself,
I force myself to stand.
Even though I want to, I know I love myself enough to know I can't give it a second chance.

No matter where she goes,
Her thoughts always follow.

People don't understand how someone can be so full of life,
And the next moment, empty,
So I've come to tell you how,
I'll try to put it simply.

We all know how the food chain works, we have to take one's life to live,
Depression works in a similar way,
But it needs YOUR life to live.
It is born in you, remaining still until it decides to take,
So the life you saw in our eyes, I promise it wasn't fake.

Robots, controlled by a uncontrollable hurricane,
We are swallowed by the sea,
What's worse is we never learned how to swim,
The bottom is the only future for us there will be.

We search for an escape as we quickly begin to sink,
Our chests begin to burn, making it very hard to think,
Trying to take our mind off the darkness, we focus on something brighter,
Remembering letting go of what's inside will make us a whole lot lighter,

Our bodies will float to the top of the water and there we will be free,
Knowing there's no time to waste, our bodies start to fatigue,
First, we strip away our hope because our hope lies on the surface,
Realizing happiness and laughter, at the bottom there would be no purpose.

The love in our heart is too heavy, so we let it drift away,
Knowing that keeping anything within, would doom us our last day.
Our emotions just weigh us down, so we let go of those too,
But you have to know it wasn't easy saying goodbye to the life that we once knew,

Now all that's left are dull memories of the "normal" life we once held,
The beautiful moments of joy and happiness, on these memories we'd dwell.
Our sight is enveloped by hopeless darkness, we gave up all we had,
But the lightness we felt lying there wasn't all that bad.

With nothing on the inside, we have no burden to carry,
We have ourselves and no one else for which we needed to worry.
And with our last breath, we manage the word sorry,
But no one seems to care,
When they finally find our body, the only thing they do is stare.

They wonder how you used to be so full of life,
Exchanging one by one each painful memory,
Everyone weeps wishing they knew then, what they know now,
Falsely believing that somehow they could have saved all that's left of you now, which is empty.

Dear you,

When I picture my heaven, I picture it with you.

And, though I knew I loved you so, you were not someone I knew.

I admired the innocence in your eyes when you stared deeply into the stars,

Without a hint of hesitation, I find acceptance in everything you are.

I look at your soft hair blowing in the wind, and the mesmerizing moon rays that shine off your delicate skin.

I love your heart that radiates warmth and the depth of your soul, I have yet to comprehend.

Even though we haven't met, if I may be so bold, you are my treasure. You are gold.

I know that what we have is meant to be. So I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

*Sincerely,
               Me.

Where was love,
When everything went up in flames?
Where was love,
When I needed him most?
Where was love,
When I asked him to show?
Where is love?
I can't see anything but smoke.

I turned my back for a minute,
And love drifted away with the wind..
And in that summer breeze,
I felt a chill, ever so faintly, brush across my skin.
A chill that struck me straight down to the core.
Where are you, love?
Where did you go?
I think I've forgotten,
It was your heart I broke.
I'm sorry, love, but my selfish desires grew louder than the words you spoke.

So I'll ask you one more time,
Then I'll leave you to your own.
Where are you, love?
Because all I am now is broken and alone.

I once wished I could feel.
Not just feel, but really feel.
I wished I could feel more than most.
That things would affect me on a different level than everyone else.

What a fool

I do feel.
I feel on a level that is ten times heavier than the normal person.
I feel pain on a level people can't even reach.

I feel sadness, so heavy, resting on my chest.
But what I failed to think of at the time, is that to have more of something, something else has to be less.
And what I received was less happiness.

People feel happiness in everyday life and I feel the emptiness that lies underneath.
All I feel is the sadness and the pain.

To see beauty in the world, we must feel.
But pain comes with feeling.
And for people like me, that's a sacrifice heavier than we can bear.

Pain overwhelms me with so much sorrow, there is no longer room for joy.


*Is beauty worth the pain?

You told me in the beginning, "I'm good at cutting people out of my life."
And, "I'll probably never have a wife."

So why am I surprised when I get no reply?
Not even one, simple goodbye.

I never thought silence could feel so cold.
You can't close a chapter when there is still a gaping hole.
Surely, there is more of the story to be told.

I didn't expect it to last forever, but I also didn't expect it to end so soon.

I just wish I could see you one last time,
A closure of some kind.
But I guess that takes some effort,


*Which you never could seem to find.

•Soulmates•

Looking at him, She thought he was everything she needed in life but in the end, he was what truly drained the life from her eyes.


Overcome by the shame of her ignorance, she flooded the pages with her tears. This is why she never loves. This is why she only fears. This is why she never opens up and why when he opens his mouth, lies are the only things she seems to hear.


**** soulmates. The only real gift love brings is suffering. The ones we would give anything to have, cause us the most pain. It's a foolish cycle that never seems to break. And no matter how many times we fail, it's always from this same mistake.


By now, you'd think we would have learned. And from this stupidity, you'd assume we would have turned. Sadly, there's no hope for the things we can't change.

It's ironic, yet strange, if I'm being quite honest, though, because, you see, the more knowledge we try to gain, the more we actually seem to go insane.

It only took a spark,

A glimpse of happiness,

To start a fire in her heart.

A fire that shines bright for her even in the dark.

A glimpse of happiness.

Buried deep within the soil of her soul.

And as time unfolds,

She'll remember how it only took a spark,

A glimpse of happiness,

to bring forth blossoms from her once sorrowful heart.

I wish you could see how much I care. Can't you tell through the way I stare?
Or has life given you too much of its **** for you to see beyond its suffocating air.

I feel you there but when I look into your eyes, your soul is miles away.
Wishing it were somewhere between what you want and what it can never be.

Oh, what I'd give to help you see that everything you need is right here. What I'd give to be the reason your soul could stay, to nurture it, to bring out its beauty, and always hold it dear.

But it's useless. My desires are merely swept away in the hurricane of pain and toil that comes with allowing your soul to live amongst its soil.

I could never dare to have the audacity to ask your soul to lay with mine. For our thoughts to intertwine and our hearts to beautifully combine.
No, I will never be worthy of that much happiness, the idea of you loving me is just plain madness.

I'm not one for wishful thinking. To believe that your soul would consider leaving the comfort of its simple solitude. The guilt of you facing the hopeless desolation of reality, is something too heavy for me to carry.

But my selfish lust for your soul has led me to this moment.
The words I've been holding back gracefully dance across my tongue and wait patiently on my lips for me to give my consent.

Then, I'm interrupted by your smile. I see that you are finally content with where your world has kept you.
Pain touches every part of my inmost being. I know I'll never be the one that brings you the life you could never find here.  

But even with tears in my eyes, still, all I could do, was smile too. Because in the end, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.

And with each new boy that came and went,

She hardened her heart just a bit.

And now, it no longer beats.

Her body, it no longer heats.

She walks around with a hole that was supposed to be filled by someone.

Hope you're all happy, seeing what you have done.

Now, she will never get a chance to experience that joy,


And girls, that's what you get for wasting your hopeful hearts, on a bunch of foolish boys.

She had a dark soul,
That brought out the galaxies in her eyes,
And every time she looked up at me,
It was if I began to float up into her skies,

On my way up,
Her delicate cool breeze sent chills up my spine,
But I never understood why all I felt was warmth,
When she softly pressed her lips against mine,

When I'm with her, everything freezes,
I seem to forget all concepts of time,
All I want to do is dive deeper,
So to new heights I climb,

I'm intrigued by her unknown,
The places no one has touched before,
The darkest corners that she keeps hidden,
The ones she tries so hard to ignore,

The longer I spend exploring,
The more her universe draws me in,
And the more I stay mesmerized,
When I gently trace the constellations
That surface on her pale skin,

She says she feels numb,
From years of keeping within herself,
Weightless and empty,
But I know she's just shutting out all the hurt,
Isolated and lonely,

I want to always be with her and for what it's worth,
I don't think all the gravity in the world,
Would be strong enough to pull me back down to earth,

I want to be enveloped by everything that she is,
All my fragmented parts suspended in her infinite bliss,

But she warned me that she let go of her heart long ago,
And now it's lightyears away,
No matter how hard I tried I could never catch up,
So I guess I was never really meant to stay.

I gave you the key to the garden where my secrets were safely kept,
And I showed you the flowers sown by my scars, my mistakes, and the corners where they were neatly swept.
But under the stars, you came in and trampled it all while I peacefully slept.
You had planned this all along, I'd consider it a successful attempt.

I awoke to the gate barely swinging on its hinges,
Horrified of what I would discover next, every muscle in my body cringes.
You've created a fire in me, destroying the trails, the fresh air, it singes.
The bright colors of my flowers, the flames, it tinges.

Realizing what you had done, my hopes began to sink.
All the lies you whispered to me, I wasn't sure what to think.
I should have seen this coming, the puzzle pieces began to link.
So I grabbed a piece of paper,
Using my heart as the ink.

I painted my mistakes as a precaution for the world to see,
Lines, details, colors brushed with my regrets, each stroke, showing them what they didn't want to be.
Seeing the finished picture, I knew I had found the purpose meant for me,

*To make a beautiful work of art, using the power of broken poetry.

I gave you everything I had, you put my every inhibition to rest,

Yet the demon inside of you, no longer stayed as a guest.

You welcomed it inside and let it overcome you.

I foolishly handed my soul over. So inside of me, its power also grew.

We were swallowed in the lies. His words beckoned us, so hopeful and promising.

We were blinded by them and now it's left us confused, struggling.

And now you're calling me, telling me you're ready to give up, that all you want is to let go.

But if you let go, it will take me with it.  
We are tied down. We have been from the start.

All I wanted was for us to be a masterpiece, a breathtaking work of art.

We are falling, we are destroyed.


The demon's left now, but in us there will always be void.

"I'm ready to be free," I whispered with all the strength left in me.

He agreed, together we jumped, finally escaping life's grip.

Looking back, content, knowing we were everything we ever could be,
We closed our eyes and enjoyed life's one, last, final trip.

You are different.
The Best of its kind.
Your simplicity,
I needed to find.
Your charisma,
Your charming eyes,
My logic,
It quickly defies.
Your humor,
Unravels me.
Your words,
They comfort me.
Your eyes,
Entrance me.
Your heart,
It beckons me.
Your mind,
Amazes me.
Your body...
It surrounds me.
Your warmth,
Invites me.
Your hands,
They touch me.
But your lips,
They destroy me.

If I deserve the world, then you deserve the universe.

The pain reminds me that I feel,
The scars, that I will heal.

Inside me, there's a void that I've managed to fall through,
Nothing seems to be helping,
No matter what I do.
I try to stay positive,
Always looking on the bright side,
But it's like the darkness always finds me,
No matter where I try to hide.
Despair taints the world around me,
Sadness softly whispers my name,
While all the while madness tells me all I'm doing is going insane.
I'm desperately looking for a way out,
Exploring inside me, the unknown.
But the deeper I go searching,
All I discover is that I'm alone,
They say the good thing about hitting rock bottom, is that up is the only other way,
The problem is, the walls are just too high to climb up, so the bottom is where I stay.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I'm buried in too deep,
And about how easy it would be to forever fall asleep,
But I decide to look once more for any way out,
Because that is not the life I planned for myself,
I know this without a doubt.
I want to live a happy life, I truly want something more.
So I peer across the room, and there sits a key, my last chance,
All I have to do now is find the door.

A beautiful soul was laid bare before all.
Leaving every desire, every mistake, every flaw,
Exposed.

It only took one person to leave that soul broken and destroyed.
Never again will that soul fall.
Instead, it will build up walls.

Walls that will protect that once beautiful soul from hurt, from disappointment, from pain.
But the walls kept away the ones who could mend, care for, and protect the, now bitter, soul from the rain.

Burying its heart deep within, emotions became constricted.
It was in that moment, that the empty soul was convicted.

If there was any lesson it had learned that had proven to be true, it's this:
When you refuse to feel, you dismiss any chance you have to heal.

Turning around, the soul watched as the walls crumbled to the ground.
And what happened next, in my opinion, was even more profound.

The ones who had the desire to change that soul's fate had been waiting there all along.
To make that soul feel loved, accepted, giving it a place to belong.

And coming to that realization, was when the beautiful soul finally began working again to make itself whole.

You dissolve me into a beautiful nothingness.




And that terrifies me.

It's such a strange feeling,
knowing someone more than I know myself.      

Who Am I?

I wear a mask for the world to see,
I meet someone, put on a similar face so I can fit in, I figure out, for the time, who I need to be.
So much so that if I searched in a room full of faces, I wouldn't even recognize my own,
I've got to find who I am, in a place so far to me, is unknown.
I know once I go searching hard enough, I'll find myself within,
In a state of constant growth and learning,
In hopes that just me will always be enough,
No reliance on someone else telling me who I am,
I'll break down my walls, tear apart the dam,
My spirit will spill out like a beautiful waterfall,
Glistening with the brightest sparkling light that anyone ever saw,
I will finally be sure of my purpose,
He asks me what if I regret going and deciding not to stay,
And miss out on my chance to become the person I hope to be?
I said I can't not know, no ******* way.  
I'm going to be free, not tied down to anything on this earth,
I'll be satisfied with my soul and recognize my worth,
I won't settle for anything less,
Than becoming my absolute best.


So I don't care what I have to do,
Whether I rise or I fall, I'll give nothing less than my all.
If the end result is finding me,
*I'm willing to go to any lengths.

Have you ever been so close to love that you could feel it radiating around you?

So sweet that you could almost taste it?

I am within and without

Surrounded by love, radiating off of those around me,
But yet, I am without it.

I cannot grasp its meaning.
My longing to understand it is one of the strongest desires of my heart.

But I'm afraid.

Afraid that as close as I have come to accepting love, to carrying it inside of me,
I fear that close to love, will be the closest I'll ever get.

You see, love is a tricky little thing.
It could be your greatest accomplishment,
And in the same breath,
Your greatest downfall.

Is it worth the risk?
*I fear I'll never know.

You speak*
And brick by brick,
My walls slowly crumble to the ground.

You*


It's not something I held on to, but definitely something I never let go.