I‘m a man they said

calm and composed
For when I speak these knives come out
cutting the air on its way

For my lips are the whestone
sharpening the blade these words are
whenever I speak my heart

For the pain I carry is the dark obsidian
forming the edge
where I would fall from

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

I hide my behavior
to keep you safe.

I keep quiet
not to offend you.

I agree with you
to keep you happy.

I walk on eggshells
for you and
it’s never enough.

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

but when the truth
arrives at that
final moment;

jaws will drop
plates will shatter
dogs will growl

and
you’ll be long gone
after seeing what
a ghastly beast
I am

but for now

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

to keep us
together.

understand the pain you hide,  
The way you keep it locked inside.  
You push away, afraid to fall,  
But still, I love you through it all.  

Your heart may doubt, your mind may race,  
But in your eyes, I see a trace.  
A love that’s real, a love that’s true,  
And I will stand right here with you.  

Though you retreat, I’ll never leave,  
In every storm, in every grieve.  
I see the scars, I feel your fight,  
But I’ll keep loving through the night.  

So don’t be scared, don’t push me away,  
I’ll love you more with each new day.  
I understand, but know this too—  
My heart will always wait for you.

I might be somewhat egoistic
I could be very indiscreet
I might be rude – just by statistics
And just insensitive a bit.

I might be full of flaws, my dear
I can regret some things I do
But I have one good trait, it's here:
I just can't stop my thoughts of you.

If I offended you, my deity
Please, have some mercy and forgive
My heart of steel is slowly melting
So now it has some love to give.

All I ever wanted was for someone to listen
I wanted someone to pay attention
To tell me things would get better
And that happiness would last forever
I wanted someone to give me advice
All about my life to notice
I wanted someone to understand
To support and lend me a hand
I wanted someone who'd never leave me alone
To know me from deep inside my bone
I wanted someone to love me
As far as the end of the galaxy
I wanted someone to treat me with respect
To make me feel a little perfect
I wanted someone to make me feel special
And to not make my life seem so small
I wanted someone to wipe away all of my tears
Helping me get over my fears
I wanted someone to be my friend
To always bring my misery to an end

I have a fascination with
all things love,
Daydreams constructing expectations
and a daily need for a thing which
I have yet to experience,
It's an obsession which has
evolved into a fear ~
Fear of a broken heart,
of a lonely life,
of distracted dreams.

~ Funny my ability to
overthink.

You asked me why I like you
But I didn’t want to tell
Some of my reasons are cheesy...
But here is why I fell

I love the way your lips curve
When I make you smile
It makes me want to pull you close
And kiss you for awhile

I love the way your eyes twinkle
When you talk about things you love
I truely believe
You are a gift from above

I love that you are compassionate
You have such a big heart
That was the first thing I noticed
Right from the start

I love the way it feels
When you hold me tight
I finally feel safe
Like I could sleep through the night

I love that you don’t judge me
For my less than perfect self
That is more attractive
Than any amount of wealth

There are so many more reasons
But I’ll start with just this few
Maybe someday
I’ll give this poem to you

:)