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I may not be content but I am at ease
We never fought but we would tease
We both let go of our tight grips
I wish I could say our hands just slipped
We never had animosity, we were always faithful
And for this first love I am grateful
I gently breathe and try to slowly let go
I will always love you, this I hope you know
I won’t hold my breath and I won’t hold onto pain
Just know that your hug is what has kept me sane.
I hold you in my heart and mind,
Thank you for always being so sweet and kind.
He will never end up reading this poem but its okay. These are just things I wish I had the guts to say after our break up.
Golden Flower Nov 30
Do the flowers mourn when one is picked?
I know that question is kinda morbid and sick.
But I’ve always wondered if they somehow know,
Like for weddings and birthdays that it’s their time to go?

Do they feel sorry for lovestruck dames,
That pull off petals whilst saying their crushes’ names,
That pulled the last petal on “He loves me not”?
Do they feel bad that she’s distraught?

Do they compete on who’s the prettiest?
Each person has an opinion of which flower is the best,
Of their looks are they actually aware,
Do flowers even care?
  Nov 30 Golden Flower
Julian
I'm tired
I'm tired of my life
Of the people who treat me like ****
Of the ones who leave just when the adventure begins
I'm tired of thinking why or doing what I think is right because everything always turns out wrong
I'm tired of doing what others want
I'm tired of waking up
I'm tired and I don't know what to do because this is the life I live I can't switch to someone else I need to make a change but I'm weighed down in fear I can't do anything without feeling like I'm going to explode
I'm so stressed just from the thought that I might not have time to rest
I can't do anything because I'm too scared it makes me mad how closed off I can be but idk what else to do I can't bring my self to do the things I want in fear of judgement faller
work makes me stressed, home makes me stressed, friends make me stressed, living makes me stressed
I'm tired of this stress
I'm tired of this pressure
I'm tired of living in the state I am in this cold place that someday may decide my fate I don't want to give in I don't want to crack but how can I live with this stress on my back everything I do and say comes back to me in some way
I'm tired of the way I look
I'm tired of seeing my self in the mirror because the only thing it shows is the hurt the scared the disgusting body that I own if I only I could trade it
my body is affecting my life in more ways then there is time to explain but I'm tired of it I just want it gone if these few things could change I could maybe wake up for the next couple days I try to hold on hope but its hard when you don't do anything to fix your problems because your stuck in fear to a four framed box that holds you off the ground and keeps you from floating around
I'm tired of sleep
I'm tired of me
I'm tired of life
I'm tired and I don't know what to do
No matter how much you sleep sometimes you're still tired
Golden Flower Nov 30
I feel stuck inside this shell,
I feel trapped in my own hell,
I am restricted and cannot breathe.
I just long to be freed.
I was free for a while but was entrapped.
Enticed by feelings to reacted.
I was hurt and I shut the cage.
In order to hide all my sadness and rage.
Golden Flower Oct 22
Slowly they wash over me,
Gently they flow over me,
My body lifted and sways,
As my memories wash up in waves,
I can feel myself become adrift,
Floating away from all of this,
It’s beautiful here in this sea of pasts,
The real and the fake mix up here and last.
They take me slowly,
And drag me deep,
All the while I drift off into sleep,
My body is idle yet my mind swims,
So graceful and glorious just like a dream,
Some I know are too good to be real while others I wish were just bad horrid dreams.
Golden Flower Oct 22
Thoughts are all relative,
Everyone has a different perspective,
We all differ from time to time,
Your mind is different from mine.
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