I miss you.
I miss hearing your voice at 1am telling me pointless stories. I miss your laugh at 3pm making fun of my endless complaints. I miss your constant messages filling my phone. I miss the way you look on FaceTime at 10 at night. I miss your kisses on my forehead and even more the way you bite my lip. I miss feeling your hands around my waist. I miss the way you looked at me like I was your everything. I miss our empty conversations filled with giggles and smirks. I miss your hands in mine and your lips on mine. I miss your ring on my finger and you in my heart. I miss playing games with you. I miss that night on the couch with your body against mine. I miss fighting with you over absolutely nothing. But most of all I miss our endless, pointless and playful conversations.

Seven days
Seven days repeat them
Repeat them over
One by one
Seven by seven.
Here we go
Seven colours the sky smiles
Seven times seventy
And seventeen years
Seven levels of hell
And seven sins to send you there
Seven princesses
Sailing seven seas
And seven sea monsters to sink them
Seven lies and seven truths
Seven wonders
On seven continents
That I will never see
Seven dreams
On seven nights
Seven kisses
Seven kisses
Seventeen years
Seven years for complete cell replacement
And it’s been seven
Seven years of plenty
And seven of famine
(which are we in?)
Seven seconds to count down
Seven candles to light
On seven lampstands
7-Up and 7/11
Seven days
Seven days repeat them
Repeat them over and over and over
Seven years repeat them over
Seventeen repeat it over
Repeat it over
Repeat it over and over
Seven cells replaced in seven
Seven tears cried in seven
Seven out of seven
And seventeen years
Seven dwarfs and seven demons
Seven secrets
Concealed by seven lies
Seven torches we bear
Seven oaths and seven gemstones
Seven spells for seven curses
On seventeen days
And the Seven Years War
In seven days I built myself
And in seven seconds I’m destroyed
Seven feathers fall to earth
Seven stars all align
And seven Gods stole my soul
Seven slaves owned by seven masters
Seven burdens
Seven burdens
Seven prayers leave my lips
Seventy Hail Mary’s to save you
And seven angels
Seven sweet friends
That left me
Here’s what they don’t tell you
Seven lives mean seven deaths
And seven joys mean seven pains
Seven sisters mean seven funerals
And seven suns mean seven rains
And seven
And seven
I’ve been stuck on seventeen
For an eternity
Repeat it
Repeat it over
Repeat it over
Seven
And seven
And seven
Teen.
Seven days
And I’ll be home to a house I’ve never seen
In a country I don’t belong to
And a language I can’t speak
And it’s all just seven
And seven
And seven
Teen.

I wish you knew how empty I feel in your arms.

I wish you knew that when I whispered the words "I miss you" I meant you.

I wish you knew what it felt like to turn from fire to ash so quickly.

I wish you knew that you did this to me.

Moments.
Moments of 'I can do this',
or I can't,
or I will,
or I won't?
Moments of uncertainty,
where its just you,
and its just me.
Moments of temporary bliss,
because I know it doesn't last,
and I know this doesn't stay like this.
Moments of seeing the good in the bad,
matched with the bad in the good.
Moments where I think I'm okay.
Moments where I think its that day.
Moments of desire,
when I desire the wrong person,
and that desire can't seem so desirable anymore.
But I wrongly desire it anyways.
Moments of stop! (red light),
and GO (green light),
and 'I don't even know what I'm doing.' (yellow light?).
Moments.
Take the moments as they are and run.
Run for your life.