imagine you're standing at the edge of a beach, looking into the water. it's a beautiful beach, the best you've ever been to.
the water is pure, the sand is soft.
and it's all yours, this wonderful beach. as you're standing there, you see a tsunami approaching.
you can't believe it, this tsunami is about to tear apart your
sacred beach, and you with it.
you yell, you scream, you think of everything possible to try and stop this tsunami from coming, but on it rages.
it reaches you and you're immediately knocked off your feet, drowning in the mad water.
it pushes and pulls you in a million different directions
and you choke on its waves.

do you fight?
of course you do. this is your beach.
the tsunami has no right to be here.
you'll be strong and fight until this tsunami goes away. and so you do. you kick and you swim and you keep your head above water and finally,
your feet reach the ground again.
miraculously, when you look around, your beach is still intact.
the sand is still soft at the touch,
and the water is the purest of blues again.
but you're barely able to catch your breath for a second before you see in the distance another tsunami headed towards you and your wonderful beach.

you can't believe it.
again its waves swallow you and you're not as strong as you were when the first tsunami hit.

do you fight?
of course you do.
..right?
it's harder to keep your head above water this time,
and the waves pull you under until you're at your breaking point.
you don't know which way is up or down,
and when you reach the ground again,
this time it's your knees that touch the soft sand,
not your feet.
you're shaken. a little weak, but otherwise okay.
you get to your feet, look out into the water, and your heart stops. another tsunami headed your way...

you're not sure you're going to make it as the 8th tsunami
takes its turn on you.
you've been underwater for minutes and you can feel the last of your oxygen being used up.
it's your instinct to fight, but how much more can you really give?
your body is weak and your mind isn't far behind.

do you fight?
do you fight for your beach?
you think of its perfection and it dawns on you that no one in their right mind would give up a beach like that.
so you should fight.
shouldn't you?
you don't know anymore.
is it worth it?

the beauty of the beach is matched by the terror of the tsunamis.
it's not possible for you to have one without the other.

you don't have to make your decision this time,
because as your still deciding,
you feel your back rest upon the warm, soft sand.
you're lying down and you don't even have the energy
to lift your head up.
but you hear it.
you hear the terrifying tsunami racing towards you.

i hear the terrifying tsunami racing towards me.
do i brace myself for the fight?
do i stand up and face this tsunami head on?
do i keep still and accept defeat?
will i let the water rush over me and stop fighting?

..what would you do if it were you?

What is Love if not the
agonizing hallucination
of helpless fools who
don't even know they're
      dying?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not the
sweet denial that your
heart is being ripped out
from your body in a way
you don't even feel the
         pain?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not fire heated
swords slowly going inside
burning you up as they cut
through your flesh and bones
          deliciously?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not well hidden
pain coated with flowers that
distracts the mind from the
insanity of what's become of the
            heart?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not delicious,
beautifully well camouflaged
death hiding behind a perfect
smile and sweet words for deaf
              ears?
     . . . . . . .
What is Love if not astounding,
hypnotizing,  breathtaking and
perfect misleading beauty that
is everything that helped build
               you.

I could have drawn constellations
with the dots on your skin,
but you made me write a goodbye
letter instead.