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Jan 2020 · 118
soft chords
Isabelle Emily Jan 2020
You remind me of a love that will never stay

and it chips, and breaks away at my heart everyday

So lonesome I feel, but lack the strength to stay away.

Please, just love me or go away.
Self awareness
Oct 2019 · 221
Mind over Matter
Isabelle Emily Oct 2019
How the heart hurts and how it is heavy,
how I long for the strength rather than the dreary.
It never subsides and it never heals
but, rather I feel the weight of the burden
that the memory cannot seem to halt, or repeals-
the disgruntled and mislead, carried and uncertain.  

The poison I have drank cannot be blamed
for it was me who let the poison sink from within;
For it has grown wild and insane as if it had rained
down ******* myself, down ******* on my skin.
Crimson, cherry, dark hues lie tauntingly on my body
to appease the voices, the thoughts that taunt and scream.
Left alone? Never could I dream of a day's peace where I embody
the strength, the will, the power where it remains a dream.

I bid these thoughts in high regards.
They accompanied me when no one around
cared to see, cared to follow,
instead leads, lies, misuses and remarks
the time, the darkness that was once surround-
ensured me, I was hollow.
Mental instability
Oct 2019 · 458
Flor
Isabelle Emily Oct 2019
I call out to you
Surrounded by dead flowers
Lay me next to you.
I’m sad
Oct 2019 · 500
Star dust
Isabelle Emily Oct 2019
Look at the stars
&
Look at yourself
They are made
For you and me
From us and we
Oct 2019 · 178
An Accumulation of Sorts
Isabelle Emily Oct 2019
I don't wanna be your girl no more.

I can see why he might’ve thought that was about him.

Two hands longing for eachothers warmth.

Dude ***, you still try to tell me y’all didn’t have a thing.

I’m scared that no one loves me, loves me, really loves me.

Aw he loves you, let him love you

And all I ask of you, is baby please don’t leave me, you are all I ever need.

I thought that you guys were like best friends or something.

I can finally see you’re as ****** up as me.

Your  ‘not’ relationship ******* me up more than real relationships.

We will grow old as friends.

I need new friends.

Lost cities, what a pity, no one knows when it’s time to accept a lost love and say goodbye.
6 6 17
Oct 2019 · 292
And Honey
Isabelle Emily Oct 2019
But in another time or place, things could have been different.
I think I loved you but I cannot give an accurate response since I am inexperienced in such things
Oh what a shame, things could have been different,but honey life isn't as simple as , one,two, and three
"All I do is lose but baby all I want is to win," is no better understanding of the feelings lingering now
Life doesn't play itself out to be that way, and honey I hold no resentment, I hold no anger, and I find no blame in you, and neither in myself
I will allow myself the time to regain composure and continue forth
I never expected forever from you, I simply longed for the now.
But that isn't what you want, and honey that's okay
In another time or place, things could have been different, but for now they'll remain the same
And honey, that's okay
Rejection.
Sep 2019 · 374
#ForYou
Isabelle Emily Sep 2019
Ever sweet and ever loving-
The times were ever changing.
Malicious and fearsome-
The times were dense with resentment.
Tainted and taken;
Downward and mistaken.
Disillusions and inner turmoil-
Took control and destructed with mayhem.
The ever loving and sweet things were long forgotten,
And twisted and made rotten, through the illusions you’ve spoken.
The question remains, what have you to gain?
Perception has been warped and lies wired and reword with the intention to disarray.
The cloths of fabrication wrap perfectly along your body.
The deceit.
The resentment.
The lies;
The ill intentions-
have coveted the means for resonance and rehabilitation
In the sense of self preservation-
In the sense in which you lack and cannot maintain.
If you know then you know
Jan 2019 · 323
Love(d)
Isabelle Emily Jan 2019
I loved you
before I loved
myself
And now
that you're gone
I know
where I went wrong
.
Isabelle Emily Oct 2017
I'm beautiful.
I'm beautiful because I said I am.

I'm beautiful because my eyes crinkle when I throw my head back and laugh boisterously at a stupid joke I made myself.

I'm beautiful when I smile lazily and my double chin peeks through the polaroid that effortlessly captures my features.

I'm beautiful because, after many years of being told I don't fit into the spectrum of socially accepted beauty, I laughed and told them to *******.

I'm beautiful because all the years of self-loathing and self-doubt erased the moment I said I'm beautiful.

I'm beautiful and there isn't a soul alive who can convince me otherwise.
just a reminder.
Oct 2014 · 979
Twinkling lights
Isabelle Emily Oct 2014
The stars shine bright

Such truth they project.

Most realest I've ever seen.

Dead, but they still shine bright.

Gives millions of people

Hopes & dreams.

When they ask me, what I want to be.

I'll look up and say the stars.

Because the stars are what we believe
Are what we see.

The stars.

Is who, I want to be.
Sep 2014 · 337
far too late
Isabelle Emily Sep 2014
When the ashes hit the sea
The walls inside of me
Shattered.

When I opened my mouth to speak
The word caught in my throat
""brother."

When I stopped dreaming
The child inside of me
Died.

When my plea's went ignored
I turned away
Ashamed.

When I wanted to get better

It was far too

Late.
Nov 9th
Sep 2014 · 287
running
Isabelle Emily Sep 2014
By the time the moon rises
I'll be on the run.
I'll go far away, to a place
To call my own.
To leave you all behind
Is what must be done.
I won't apologize for who
I've become.
But I'll apologize only because
I'll be gone.
So don't go looking for me
I won't be found.
Save your breath
And be safe and sound.
Take care, my loves.
Sep 2014 · 382
Where I'm free
Isabelle Emily Sep 2014
This is where I'm free,
hidden behind a computer screen.
I type from within,
not caring what you think.
Yes, it's true
I've lost feeling
I've lost hope
I've lost myself.
No denying the truth
I'm going to swim
swim out of the blue
I'll go far
far from you.
Once I'm there
I'll know what to do.
I don't plan to keep in touch
So I say to you
don't be surprised when I'm gone
out of touch
It was only a matter of time
when I would be free.
I write from within
no sense comes from it.
just truth.
Sep 2014 · 387
I'm tired
Isabelle Emily Sep 2014
I'm tired.
the most truth I've spoken in a while
I wish things were different.
But they're not
I want to sleep.
But I cannot
Aug 2014 · 1.4k
Thoughts Ignored
Isabelle Emily Aug 2014
I've always been called strong willed,
But I'm not as it seems.
I've always stayed ahead than the rest
Never knowing where I'm going.
I've always felt numb
Until the day I died.
I've always thought crying was for the weak hearted
I'm the one whose weak.
I've forgotten the feel of happiness
Until true pity arose from within.
I don't know who I am.
I've lost myself over the years.
.
.
I never anticipated for this to happen
.
.
Jul 2014 · 437
confusion
Isabelle Emily Jul 2014
It's an almost hazy stage
The one where I'm numb.
I lie here with my body
And let my mind roam.
It's almost a spiritual feeling
Without anyone.
I travel back in time
A time where I was young.
Running around the block
With a few boys behind me.
The girls they all watch me

One of them walks over
And taunts as she reaches
"girls don't play with boys."
Bewildered with myself
I stop and stare
At a puddle by my feet.
I look into the water
And see what they see.
A girl
No, girls don't play with boys.
Confused with their reason
I tread along back home
Kicking stones as I'm passing
I took one look back
One final look back

They were playing
The girls were playing
Not with themselves
But with the boys too.

It's an almost hazy stage
The one where I'm numb
Jul 2014 · 433
reflection
Isabelle Emily Jul 2014
I sit here and think
Blank
Nothing comes to mind
Can't figure out what to write
I need to go out
Need to go find my grind
Not a ****** kind
No
The one where I think
Use it as an advantage
Yes
Let people know how I think
stop
I look across from myself
and see a mirror
But what I only see
Is who I used to be
Its a messy old image
Seems almost non-existent
If only times were different
I wouldn't be so conflicted.
Feb 2014 · 745
Society
Isabelle Emily Feb 2014
Society
Such a crazy thing.
  influences are made
It
decides
where
you
belong
Society
Choo­ses
who you'll be
Society
why are you so mean?
just let us be
Society
just...don't own me
.
#society #truth

— The End —