I could never quite place my finger
On what drew me nearer
It wasn’t quite your smile
Nor your sarcastic sighs

Beneath your laugh’s charm
And your comforting warmth
Under your sweet impatience
And known reputation

I notice the disguise
Which hides your broken eyes
I see the tender pain
You try to shove away

I watch the truth unfold
Now you’re distant and cold
I wish you could just know
I see potential in your soul

I wait for you to trust me
Maybe some day you’ll love me
But for now I will settle
With trying to know you better

I love you for your heart
It isn’t buried far
I love you for your mind
I hope one day you might be mine

I suppose my biggest worries are yet to come
Which is perhaps why I pretend I have none
I wait for the day when my body grows numb
When my heart will be broken, innocence undone

I promise to you
My soul is at peace
My mind is at ease

I promise
My hands are steady
My heart is ready

I promise
I can finally be brave
I’m willing to be saved

I promise
I love myself
Before loving anyone else

I promise
To you
I am passionate
And true
I am confident
Through and through

I promise
To me
I am brilliant
Full of dreams
I feel radiant
And free

I promise
These heavy words
With a tone
So very sure
With intent
So very pure
But with a pain
That can’t be cured

I simply don’t matter
My last hope has shattered
Can’t death come along faster
I simply can’t last here

Yet I promise to you
That I’ll be alright
As my eyes fill with tears
I say I’ll make it through the night
But behind my back
Barely out of sight
I take my *******
And cross them tight

Words still unspoken
Hearts remain broken
Ever since the moment
I was not chosen

When the wind blows strongly from the east
And the rain falls softly in the eve
While the waves are crashing in the seas
And the dewdrops trickle from the leaves

I close my mouth, I dare not speak
Though I know your hearts won't break for me
I hear the echoes of your pleas
And I promise I will never leave

Self-loathing is tiring
But god, it’s inspiring
Anyone would be lying
To claim they weren’t trying
To work day by day
To mend their mistakes
To reshape their ways
The ill strive for change

The strive to improve
Or perhaps just to prove
The pain is the truth
The weaknesses too
With all the crying
The bleeding, the fighting
Self-loathing is tiring
But god, it’s inspiring