I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

The music is never loud enough
The cuts are never deep enough
The bruises are never hard enough
The blisters are never severe enough

To silence the screams inside
To **** the monster inside
To make him want to leave
To make him suffer what he makes me suffer

I want to be free from him
I want to leave him
I want peace in my bones
I want rest in my soul.

I can't fight him much longer
I can't win any more battles
I can't take any more blows
I can't keep living like everything is alright...

From a thousand miles away
I can still hear you
Breathing
Don’t stop
Yet

I'd rather suffer in
       S
          I
            L
               E
                  N
S   O   L   I   T   U   D   E       
Than expose my soul
And have you tell me
It will be alright
As you hold
The pillow over my face
And wish me goodnight