One.
I tried to stay away.
You were?
Yes, but I couldn’t do it.
Can’t you see you’re all that I want?

Two.
I’m trying to stay away.
And, I think I can finally do it.
I had been a fool,
Now that I got your clue.

Like so many of us, surrounded by binaries and cold concrete,
he finds it hard to say what he feels, and I found it hard
to understand, for a while, that he loved me just as I did him,
when he never vocalised his feelings completely, and I did.
It took me some time to realise he shows them instead, and maybe
that is all the more eloquent than anything I could ever
materialise on a piece of paper filled with smeared ink.
His love manifests itself in lingering gazes and the lightest touch,
in private smiles and the softening of his eyes when I laugh.
Like a child resorts to pointing at things they cannot name,
he ends up holding close what he cannot verbalise he needs.

- “You make me happy,” I tell him. He looks vulnerable and smiles. c.s.

its ok to just breathe
be
not everyone would value that
or know how

The hands on the clock
Swear that they're ticking.
But I don't hear a sound.

****,
Every second feels like an hour.
Yet somehow,
I still manage to lose track of time.

The last time I checked
I was hardly 16 years old
Shaking, alone,
Clenching a razor on my bedroom floor,
Pleading to god,
Pleading to anyone who would listen.
Take the pain away.
Or to just take me away.

But you see
I just looked up
And now I'm almost 20, going to college
Trying to balance the worlds weight
On my fragile shoulder blades.

I could tell you the square root of i
And what the Odyssey is all about.
What I couldn't tell you,
Is what I've done the past four years.
It's all a blur
*** the clock keeps on ticking
Producing static in my brain

The worlds spinning so fast I can hardly see

I want the dirt to bury me
6ft under.
Underneath all of the snow

Until the cold finally,
freezes over my wintergirl heart
Until its muffled "boom, boom"
Is put to a final rest
And all thats left to be heard is
The clocks hands
Tick...tock....

I was told the first time you lay your eyes on me,
It was not attraction it was love,

I was told about things you hadn't felt before,
For i was the reason that made you feel more alive,

But this time if something happens to me,
I'd say I'd be the reason of your salvation!

I liked you once
No one knew
But now suddenly
Out of the blue
I strangely have developed
The same old feelings for you
We both liked each other
You even asked me out
But I couldn't say yes
For my heart was taken by someone else
But we talk a lot
I enjoy talking to you
My feelings have come back to me
But I don't know about yours
My friends now know
That I like you again
And they will reach
To the ends to try and get
Me to ask you out
I want to but,
I am
Overtaken
With
Doubt...