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I look into your eyes.
I press our fingers together.
I hate you.
I hate everything about you.
And if I was strong enough,

I'd **** you.
This sadness I feel
It depresses me...
I just don't know anymore...
I don't fake smiles
Everyone can see how I feel...
"Are you tired? What's wrong?"
They'll never understand...
Neither will I..
This empty feeling.
Yet I know there is something inside me
I can feel the pain
It's definitely there, it never left...
It never stops
I wish it would, but it stays...
I just don't know anymore...
Actually, I never really did
And probably never will...
To awake rested, yawn and
get up on the
completely right side
of the bed.

a full, healthy breakfast,
quality coffee.
good news headlining
the paper.

the smell of a bathroom after
a woman has spent time
getting ready for a
night out.

words of kindness from a friend.
such things I adore.
...but I love
poetry more.

a fully comprehensible manual.
a love letter post-it note,
or a book on something
hysterically interesting,

like psychology or history.
music of the kind that you welcome
sticking to your mind for a
whole day.

these things make my day for sure.
...but I love
poetry more.

her hands on me, warm with
sleep as she reaches over and
sighs between dreams.
yes. he's still here...

waking up with her hair in
my face, falling asleep on the
sofa with my head on her legs
the way a dog warms its owner's

feet with itself while resting.
not feeling like myself when
she's further away than the
next room.

hard to not shake
when she cries.
impossible not to laugh when
she laughs,

and to not want her
when she
wants me
to.

****. it's plain to see.
...I love her
more than poetry...
Because in the end I'm still standing
in the corner
like I like
or don't like
I have yet to decide but
I'm laughing with myself;

vanity never got me anything.

So I'll wear exactly what I like or
what you want me to like or
whatever I found on the floor
and I'll collect more and more
until I finally realize what I chore it is

Pretending who you're going to be each day.

Dress me in grey
Stick me in a simple box
Set me on fire and
throw me to the rocks in the sky
that always reflected the dreamy mist of another life
into my vacant eyes.

C.e.M. 12.12.14
I've spent my morning
reading, dreaming
I listened to the rain
oh how the drops, they hit my roof
each one spelling out your name
each letter is it's own
every drop
a little fuller
& in the wet
I catch my breath
I see it pouring as I pull her
if I replace the steam that I now breathe
my gasps won't seem as cruel
that I might look up at the sky
my dear
& all I see is you
sometimes that's all you can do.
beautiful things don't ask for attention.
they often roam around silently.
just like a polar bear, or snow leopard.
gorgeous but not always seen at first glance.
take a second look and you might just see that the world,
well the world isn't as ugly as we make it seem.
this was inspired by an experience that i had today. the world is beautiful and we need to embrace it.
You and I
Are water and salt:
Needing one another
Separately,
To live,
But dying of thirst
If taken together.
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