The promise you made
to love me
means more than
the promise I made
to love myself

I remember reading your last letter
You told me your life felt different, you didn't know who you were anymore
You said the clouds didn't remind you of serenity anymore
You said the ocean didn't speak to you the way it used to
You said the coffee was more bitter than it used to be
You said my eyes looked different and you didn't like how that made you feel
You said I took you for granted, which is probably true
But oh God, when you left you took me with you...
I hate looking at myself in the mirror now, because I now see how much uglier I look without your arms around my waist
I hate waking up because it's another day I woke up without waking up to you.
Now all coffee tastes the same. It all tastes like your lips in the morning.
I go to sleep and pray that if there is a God, could (s)he take me to you.

But the truth is that even though you're gone I still feel like you're here.
I drive past our coffee shop and you're there.
I do math homework (your favorite subject) and you're there
I talk to your other friends and you're there.
I saw your mom at the grocery store and oh God there was so much of you in her. (or maybe vice versa)
Honestly I'm falling apart every single day. Every day.

I miss your jokes so much.
I miss how you'd get mad when I asked you to  repeat things.
I miss you making fun of me.

But now these walls are closing me in and I need to get out before I'm stuck in this black hole of my thoughts of you.
Stop suffocating me.
Stay away.
Because every time I hear our song it feels like I lost you again.
And I keep seeing you in my sleep.
This is the last time I will write you.
Let me move on.

It kills when you lose someone who meant the world to you even though you meant nothing to them but then again the fact that they let you go so easily says a lot.

Breaking News: He paid attention to you and you had your clothes on

you're different.
for some unknown reason.
when i see you
i just get this sudden urge to
joke around with you
sing duets with you
or simply just talk.
there's just something about you
that drives me to feel things
i've never felt before.

I can only hear your voice now
Through recordings
How sick is that?
I mean I do know for a fact
That you are dead.
But honestly I can't get it through my head.