When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again

Someone please help me set free
The poet that resides within me
It's so hard to put my thoughts to pen
Even if I can now and then

All I can do is write from the heart
But it's difficult to know where to start
When I lack the creative spark
And its tearing me apart

So I fall back on these rhyming tools
Play the fool, trying to be cool
It's hard to write poetry
When I cant even see
What's inside the real me

Call me crazy
I refuse to talk in a room full of my peers,
Because I am afraid for
How those will react to the
“Shy” “Quiet” “Odd”
Girl to speak.

Call me crazy
I would rather be home writing
Enjoying a hot cup of hot cocoa rather than
Be out late at a party
With a random stranger
Who likes me for when I turn around

Call me crazy
I do not reach societies standards
For a barbie body,
Straight A’s,
Or owning the hottest pair of jeans on town.

Call me crazy
But I am not like the rest
And I refuse to become somebody
Who I do not want to be.

That was then
This is now
He was "Ben"
You are "Chow"
He came first
You came last
He passed the test
You dragged in the past
He left long
You took me wrong
Now he's back
Every second you call to check
You doubt me
He wants me
You threaten me
He protects me
I'm confused
And feel used
Neither of you give up
I am so fed up
My life and love is not a bet
So both of you can just forget!!!

©sim