Winning is losing,
In such a different form,
Losing is winning no more

We fight with all we have,
We lose the things that we never had.
Life is one submission after another,
We aim for one, but achieve the other.
We are all here standing,
Ready to take our number,
Completely unaware the we are all going under.
The will to fight is nothing but illusion,
The want to continue is born of confusion.
We all stand strong,
Yet in the end we fold.
We all talk a big talk,
But only our words are bold.
We can give up now,
And be forever content.
Or we can continue,
And be further broken and bent.

I have pain in my head that won’t go away.
A constant headache that is with me everyday.
No let up, no reprieve,
Just constant thumping pain for me.
I feel like my head could burst,
And what a relief that wold be,
Because the continuation of pain is truly the worst.
Surgeons cut me open,
My brain they could see.
Why is it that they still have not been able to fix me?
My tumour is gone,
But my brain feels the same.
The danger has passed,
But the suffering won’t go away.

When I speak I stutter,
As if there is no worth,
To the words that I utter.
My thoughts sound out in a jumble,
A mess that cannot be deciphered or untangled.
My thoughts are clear but my sounds are a mumble.
If only I could convey my message,
Give to you my thoughtful deliverance.
Instead I make myself look like I am swimming in ignorance.
When I write my words are clear,
But you’ll never see it because of my fear.
My fear of failure,
My fear of disappointment,
From you, in me.
If only I could share my mind,
So you could see things through my eyes,
So you could feel these feelings of mine.
Because my mouth does not connect to my mind.
My mind is sharp but my voice is weak,
I feel nothing but shame,
When I speak my bumbling speech.

Why does my imperfect action,
Create such a negative reaction?

Why does your malicious intent,
Leave me feeling spent?

Am I really to blame?
I think so, do you say the same?

Do we have a future together,
The continuation no matter the weather?

Are we destined to soar,
Love, pain, and everything more?

Patience is power over the effects of time,
Patience is the power to let the negativity subside.
Knowing when to move,
And when to stay in line.
We don’t all have it,
But we do all need it.
You have the patience of a saint,
I have an inability to wait.
You have what I need,
But cannot give it to me.