Write me a book,
Call it:
"All the Ways I Was Unable to Love You."
List the reasons
why it was all my fault
Tell them about
the impossible pedestal
you placed me on
Describe the way my hands shook
trying to put your pieces
back together,
and how I no longer knew
whose hands were bleeding
I never wanted to change you,
I just wanted to be enough
to fill your emptiness
But the the void became to deafening,
and with your brokenness suffocating me,
I used my last breath to say
"Im sorry."

*-I was always sorry for your mistakes

Forgetting what it's like to live hand an hand
I used to touch things as they'd break apart so fascinated
But you gave me such a close look
I never wanted this
Watching our memories tumble and fall
Watching our love fall apart
Piece by piece
Looking back and suddenly seeing the rot along the edges and in the cracks.
What once was soft and fluid, is now brittle and torn.
My memory is shining new and sharp
And I'm realizing who you really are
And I'm forgeting my attraction to you
Mean and hateful
Angry and resentful
You are
Smashing my wings under your toes then kissing them better.
Again and again
*you've completely played me

I can't fill my holes anymore.
Being empty is one thing.
Being completely riddled with holes and scars is quite another
Missing pieces
And I'm thinking that it's almost better
To lose everything
Or to never have
-Than to only miss one vital piece
And watch yourself struggle to go on
-surviving without it.

The most topical color
The biggest sigh
The faintest regret
A lurch of sudden memories
Bringing emotion and no tears
It's tough to cry with you right here
All my biggest fears
Fulfilled in an hour
A week of paradise
Is hell without you
It's hard to say no
To the most topical shade of love
One night stands
No holding hands
Swings and dips
The sway of hips
Bursting bubbles and causing troubles
Matters of the heart
Have become an art.
The most topical shade of art.

Faces of love
Hate
Friendship
And lust?
They seem to blur the same shade of grey
Being kind or making hints

Loss of you
Has left me blue
Filled with hate
My loves abate
To find another
My one desire
To fill the space
Unfillable
Forever empty
Without you here