Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
K Sep 2017
Alarm
Click
Alarm
Click
Alarm
Click
White ceiling
Toes thighs chest eyelids
Swing legs over bed
Stand up
Feel emptiness in your gut
Revel in how lovely it feels for the moment
Black letters greet you
Don’t forget..Take your meds! Smiley face
Orange bottle
Little custard colored pills

swallow down
swallow down
swallow down

Yes! Go to class! Pay attention! This is interesting! Wow! There’s a dog! Hello friends! Yes I can help you with that! Yes I want to hang out tonight! But homework first! And I must do my laundry! Productivity is great! I love you sweetheart, lets skype tonight! But after I do social things! It was nice talking to you!

Yes lets still hang out tonight
Yes lets still skype tonight
Unlock the door
walk in
close the door
sit down

look out the window
look out the window
look out the window

I’m sorry I’ll have to cancel. Something came up. Yes I’m fine. Yes we’ll reschedule.
Lighter
Inhale
Exhale
Short productivity burst

look out the window
look out the window
look out the window

Yes baby I’m fine. Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh….Yes I’m listening yes I still love you no im sorry im a little off tonight

look out the window
look out the window
lookout the window

Shower
Brush teeth
Comb hair
Crawl into bed

stare at the ceiling
stare at the ceiling
stare at the ceiling

Custard colored dreams
Are harder to swallow down
swallow down
swallow down
  Sep 2017 K
Emma Katka
Small memories that make my chest ache.
I'm still working to identify why some of them do.
Maybe they don't need to be defined or recognized.
That's okay, too.
I imagine them being insignificant from an outside perspective... seen as mere moments passing, sights only slightly seen in between other *******.
Queue flashback.
Burn cruising down residential streets, Lana Del Rey's song "Ride" and everything else on that **** mix cd, late autumn, my "old but new" golden SUV making the first tracks in freshly fallen snow... foggy eyes... ******... alone... but it's okay, I enjoy my company.
Desperate for something bigger than myself... beyond myself.
Queue flashback.
My old bedroom.
My parent's driveway, sneakily smoking a midnight bowl and coming back inside with frosty fingers ready to make more art.
A little buffer, you know?
A lot more simple of a life among all the drama, the past lovers, the drugs, the adventures.
Queue flashback.
The sunlight on my skin on a country road looking for abandoned houses with my friends.
Passing around a joint and screaming along to the same songs over and over again.
Finding magic within decaying walls and gravels roads.
Being set free when I'm creating for me.
I see my art as something beyond a hobby, because it's a deep part of me.
It's nostalgia wrapped up in between the sheets of my empathy, apathy, and curiosity.
Nostalgia is my addiction... it's dancing with some ******* friction.
My partners are the past and my reality in a surreal scene.
I create my lovers and they create me.
K Sep 2017
I'm convinced that having anxiety gives you radar
You can spot people with anxiety from a mile away
And when you see them
You just want to hug them
And tell them it'll be okay
and you wish someone would do that to you
but that takes a lot of energy and fighting with yourself and we're all terrified of rejection and vulnerability and ******* talking to people
The tell-tale signs become more obvious
The little ticks
Shaking legs
Tapping fingers
Grinding teeth
Rubbing hands together
Pulling at clothes
You know because you catch yourself doing them all the time
You'll know its a bad day when you can see the red mark over the scar tissue on my bottom lip
You can measure by how my nails look
Or how filled in my eyebrows are
because my fingers decide to declare war there when I'm not paying attention
I swear, when I'm stressed, I can never get the taste of blood off of my tongue
Like an iron key in my mouth
The entropy in my head is enough to drive a physicist mad
Panic attacks aren't always apparent
Sometimes it's just being overly quiet
And your lungs forget how to be lungs
and you just remember the lights
or the floor
or how everything blurs at the edges
Breathe.
I see shopping carts, soap dispensers, street lights, desks, your car window
I can touch the water, her hands, the table, the doorknob
I hear cars passing, people talking, the song you would sing to me
I smell oil and tires
I taste blood.
K Sep 2017
I'm suddenly very aware of my legs
This is real
Do I want it to be real?
Our shadows play tricks on us behind our backs
and tangle together when we aren't looking
Maybe we're the shadows to them

You are like porcelain
Painted red and blue
I can see brush strokes in the flowers
I feel like I am just bronze compared to her

WHY IS THIS SO HARD
I don't even know your favorite color
Or if you like tea
My hands will smell like lavender and cloves
And I'll make you tea
because I love making tea
I just hate drinking it

I'm suddenly very aware of my lips and tongue moving as I read
I've been reading for 10 minutes but I haven't heard a word
because I'm too busy
Thinking about the way she reads
and her lips moving with the words
and the words on my lips
and her lips moving with mine
and suddenly I am very aware that I am in philosophy
and I have no ******* idea what's going on
K Sep 2017
5am is for sleepless lovers
Stars beginning to fade to a purple sky
Birds awakening with song outside open windows
Wishing your body was pressed against mine
We tread on forbidden ground
The space in between our lips begging to be broken
As my hands underline the important parts of you
Hip bones
Belly button
Fingertips
You tell me “you’re so soft”
Words I’ve heard fall from the mouths of many a lover
But never has it sounded so sweet dripping from yours
5 am is for sleepless lovers
Watching eyes flutter in and out of sleep
Listening to heartbeats slow and race with every touch
Whispering truths and dreams and pretty lies
My, what a mess we’ve made
How I wish to hide in 5am with you
Away from the universe
Where sleepless lovers lie
K Sep 2017
I.
Wild and lonely skies
Reds and yellows painted on clouds
Roses on the side of our brick house
A dream that's slipped away
News of a day I'd forgotten
Still I live on for one song more
They haven't paid the rent
There is no heat
I can't afford to turn it back on
The floors are stained
The beds unmade
No matter how much I scrub
It never gets clean
They bring men home that break vases and leave hand prints on the windows
But I still lift the covers
Let them crawl into bed with me like the dishes were clean, like there wasn't broken glass on the floor
I wish this was a one night stand
I could sneak out
shoes in hand
Tiptoeing around the books on the floor
But I still live for one song more
And I slip back into him as if I'd never slipped away

II.
Wild and lonely skies
An endless loop of coffee shops and classical music and falling in love with strangers
Strange perfections and sweet echoes drip from rose petal lips
Like a dream lonely voices wake to remember
This was a prompt in which I had to borrow lines from other famous poetry and weave my own ideas into them, so if any of these sounds familiar, that's why :P
K Sep 2017
He may be able to write you novels,
Beautiful symphonies of the way his heart sings for you
Putting your name on a pedestal
Covering you in tiny paper hearts
But you are no ethereal, perfect being
I am not too blind to see, we are fallible and flawed
It's not about never seeing flaws
It's about loving them anyway
You are just a person
You are not greater, or higher, than I
We coexist on the same plane
He can write you novels
But I can design perfectly put together sentences for only your eyes
Sometimes the least amount of words have the most meaning
Next page