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Francis Rowell Mar 2018
i tried to stay
but i couldn’t find your heart
it was buried
underneath your hoodie
sleeves pulled over your fingers
you couldn’t let me in
but i understand
what it’s like to have a wall

---

you left, you said, because you didn’t know me
but i was trying so hard to open up
i don’t blame you, i’m not worth it
but you could have kissed me goodbye
i got a construction crew yesterday
they’re reinforcing my protection
it’s either trapped in or out
there’s never another way

---

i guess it’s goodbye, then

--

have a

good

life
life
Francis Rowell Mar 2018
i'll tell your story
i'll weave no lies into the silken thread of your life's quilt
someday
i'll show you
someday
you'll see
the story i wrote
is yours
love.
Francis Rowell Feb 2018
never again
will I hear that sound
too beautiful it was
too beautiful for me
Francis Rowell Feb 2018
there is hope
There is love
There is someone there
Always
You don't have to feel alone
You're not
You're loved
Always
Always. No matter what.
Francis Rowell Feb 2018
my time has come
to an end
some people
can't handle
the weight
of life
This poem isn't about me,  whoops.
  Feb 2018 Francis Rowell
Alec
I have an addiction
Oh how i wish it was a work of fiction
I cannot wait to feel my blade
Every time it touches my skin i feel saved.
Sweet bliss, until i am entranced
Twisting, turning, and weaving. Our dance.
We speak only to each other.
Not caring for any other.
Alone, but not alone, with our toxic love.

It makes me feel whole
When i am alone
And i have no home
And live in isolation
It is but a small trade, take and give some.

What is blood and pain,
When you want to be saved?
What sacrifice is too much
When all you want is to be loved.
Toxicity doesn’t matter
When you just want to stop getting sadder.

I CANT
I CANT STOP
THE BLADE
ITS TOO MUCH
THE BLOOD IS ALL AROUND ME
FALLING FALLING
DRENCHING THE GROUND
I NEED HELP
The liquid, it makes a repulsive sound.

AHHHHHHHHHH

ring around the rosie
pocket full of posey
raining raining
we all come back another day

Help meeeee
The insanity is CONTROLLING my brain!
I’m not sure if i already said this
But I’m going IIIINSAAAANEEEE
HA HA HA
I’m gone . . .
But not for long!!!

How can i truly be gone
When this pain just keeps c-c-c-cutting
me . . . off
HA the sky is full
But love is bull
And affection is null
While my mind i duel.

Obsession, Depression
Are wondrous traits.
One will bleed love
The other, hate

There i am, in the hellish hearts
Tortured in agony, becoming art.
Please just
. . .
Just leave me alone
. . .
Alone in the dark

Alone with my heart.

How shattered,
With blood splattered
Crimson on my skin, I’ve been slathered
Trying to put back the pieces that have been scattered.

Am i sane?
Am i still in control of my brain?

Sometimes i feel on charge, the leader.
Other times i feel weak
Looking through my eyes like windows, watching meekly.

Is music an escape?
From my pain?
Is it too late?
Have i lost my brain?

I just want to see the stars.
I wrote this awhile ago, and i just recently stumbled upon it.
Francis Rowell Feb 2018
red
i broke the promise i made to myself
i turned myself into a type of art
but not the good kind,  you see
i'm a work dripping with ink
and i can't cover up the mistakes
because i used a red sharpie to color
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