How do I tell you this separation
Is gnawing through my heart?
I knew it would hurt, nothing could prepare
Me for the catastrophic pain of being apart.
I hate that we are divided now
Two halves that were once whole
Desperately trying to replace
The precious moments time stole.
I wear a mask to conceal the hurt
Plus longing I don't understand
Pretend my senses are alive and tingling
When all I see and taste is bland.
I comb old photographs searching for
The exact moment we started crumbling
Unanswered questions form an endless pit
I am falling into it, tumbling.
Unable to find the right direction
I wander my silent sorrowful abyss
Looking for a working compass
That will point me towards bliss.
Or a distraction powerful enough
To keep distance far from nagging thoughts
I am helpless while being pushed around
By fear contorting my stomach into knots.
An apocalyptic cloud
Of uncertainty, dismay, and doubt
Follows close behind my footsteps
Reminding me of what I have to live without.
Rain falls in steady splatters
I retain hope this internal war I can win
Even if the torrential downpour never lets up
I have no choice but carry on soaked to the skin.
I am quite fond of this one. I have been writing so much the past three months I have been off drugs. My mind is so much clearer!