You relinquish your beauty when you allow others to decide what is beautiful about you.

some believe in the deity
others in the sanctity of self
I think poetry is a religion
a soul unto itself
not a god
but close
and I seek her his its
calming words
wisdom
to get on my knees
and worship
every night
alone
here
in my sanctuary
like any
true believer

He told his family I was his friend. I didn't get the title girlfriend anymore in his eyes. To everyone I still introduce him as my boyfriend, the love of my life. Yeah, that's him. He's the one. But to him, I'm the friend. Not the love of his life, no not anymore. I was a month ago, now? Now I'm just her. I'm just the girl pondering over thoughts in my head every time I try to go to sleep just wondering when he will take me back. I didn't cheat, I didn't lie, I didn't do anything wrong except not be perfect. I am not a perfect person, I make mistakes and I let people down. But never, I mean never, did I let him down. I was his shoulder to cry on when he talked about his father. When he talked about how sad he used to be. I was there, I was always constantly there. And then he dissapeared. He left without saying goodbye. Yes he still talked to me everyday but he wasn't him anymore he was the guy who broke my heart. And now he will forever be the guy who broke my heart a thousand times in a thousand ways. He looks at me like I still put the stars in his ******* sky he still kisses me like I'm the only girl he will ever kiss. But maybe that's just the way I see it because I want it so badly to be real. It's been a month, a month since the day he broke my heart. I still run whenever he says to come. He has me wrapped around his pinky and I'm holding on for dear life, while he's the puppet master and I'm the puppet on strings.

your stars hung in pairs against the
accustomed singularity of celestial bodies
your stars held the promise of enlightenment
and i sought you the way kings did
hunting you down in the endeavor of navigation
pinned down and ****** until
man left the stars for devices of their own
and when the stars followed humanity
stardust resurrecting in the arrangement of atoms
constellations manifesting in wombs
nebulae shattering for the genesis
the universe destroyed itself for you

oh gemini boy

the cosmos are not kind
to boys who are destined to be halves
on an eternal voyage for missing fragments
in a lover's touch and a child's laugh
the world is not kind
to boys who look into your eyes
and only see their reflection
but you were kind to me

oh gemini boy

this is an apology
to a mortal born from the immortality
of twins whose love bore the gods' mercy
to rest among the stars
not knowing that stars die just as
the children born from them do
just as you

oh gemini boy

maybe i should have known better than
to love a boy always searching for himself
i mistook you for a cosmic collision
meant for the dawn of a new heaven
and maybe i fell in love with your destruction
as i navigated you the way ancients looked
to your stars for salvation

oh gemini boy

my stars hang in the silhouette of the unknown
isolated from the promise of deliverance
man was once told
we are born from different stars
our fates moving in parallel precision
never meeting again after our stardust
once laid prints upon our astral anatomy
and because we are not stars
but the echoes of seraphic wars
meant to traverse desolate lands
in search for completion

oh gemini boy

i forgive you
you just wanted to be whole

you don't get to tell me that you love me and pick and choose which parts you want to love, and then simply leave me when you come across a part that you don't want

I looked for love
In a bottle of *****
Spilling out my soul on everyone's tongue
They swallowed my love down their throat.
Calling it spit, they came to me with open arms
And smiles in their shy eyes making me believe I found love in a person with shy eyes
But I only loved how they smelt like alcohol when they whispered my name, or when they lifted up my shirt with hands full of bad intentions. Even the times I knew I shouldn't , I always did. I liked the way they watched me undress, like they wanted me. But only because I was stripping naked in front of them and guys like that just wanted to feel something. I thought I was loving people, but I was hating them, giving all my anger to them for pleasure only to find myself in the same spot
Falling in love
With a bottle of ***** dripping down my throat

If only to saw the real me, you wouldn't think I was beautiful. If you watched me undress you wouldn't be staring at me, you'd be looking at the cuts along my thighs. You wouldn't admire me, you'd just see through me or stare at me with pity.