the stars are not bright enough
when you are not around

oh how I have waited for you
for so long
you make me feel
so wanted
and more than that
you make me feel
like myself
like you want to be around me.
you look at me
and you see something good
when I look at you, I see
something good in the reflection of your eyes.

I want to feel my fingertips on you skin
your hands on my body
my lips placed on yours
but with me here in this moment
my heart flutters
at the thought of you.

The worst things about college
is living with someone
who was once your friend
but is no longer

Once we were friends
happy to be in each other's company
but now she doesn't speak to me
even though we inhabit the same space

I go through my day
being the same as before
but they ignore me and keep their heads down
when I pass them in the hall or on the way to class

I live in a space
where I am not wanted
I live in a space
where people talk around me
I live in a space
where girls talk about me when I'm not around

I wish I could leave
but there is still 56 days left in the semester
44 days since the fall out that changed my college life forever
That time has gone quickly
but was not without distress or misery
Will these 56 go by faster? I can hope

I have yet to be kissed
in a manner
so passionate and incandescent
that it has yet to leave my lips,
never to be forgotten.

I had a dream last night
about you

You were laying there
on the blue flowered couch
In the living room of my mother's house

The dinner was ready and I came to get you
I stretched out my arms to you and wiggled my finglers
I had been thinking about holding your hand
But you touched my fingers and pulled yourself to two feet
You dropped my hands and pulled me into you
I snaked my arms around your waist
and rested my head against your chest
Even now I can feel your arms around my shoulders

You kissed me on the top of my head then
and held me tighter
Short lived dream missing a beginning and end
but it was all I could think of when I woke
laying there in the comfort of slumber
pulling my blanket closer to me
as if it was you

Today
I ran into the cute boy
at work who I’ve seen.
I was getting that
morning hot chocolate
leaving the kitchen
and I thought to myself
this is how the fanfiction
I wrote starts
By bumping into someone
leaving a coffee shop
And then it really happened
Leaving the doorway
the cute boy at work I’ve seen
came around the corner
We both said
Oh sorry
And I got to hear his voice
I barely even looked up
but I knew it was the one
who’s desk I walk by
when I take the long way
back to mine
When I walked away
I wanted to go back in
to see the boy who almost
made a fanfiction be real
But I put my hand
over my mouth
and kept going
in order to not ruin the moment
of the almost.

What would it be like
to have someone
who is your everything?
What would it feel like
to be someone’s
everything?

People talk about
finding this person
who they love forever
but why can’t everyone
have that?
Why can’t I
have that?

They say
one day you will find
the person you will
love forever
but right now
I have a hard time
finding anyone
besides the warm bodies
I find in the dark
on a dance floor
who I never see again

My person
I fear
is lost
gone from ever being found
He took the wrong exit
on his way to me