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 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
I had no more songs to sing
Not because you never answered
But because I thought you didn't want to listen
I loved the echoes of my own voice
As long as I knew you were the cliff on the other side sending it back

But when the wall has been obscured by a total lack of presence

I can no longer see if you have already tore it down
And welcomed in everything that’s not me
And my voice had been all along
Just companion to the wind

I knew you didn't need me
But I know you needed something
I couldn't see if you are gathering
Gold underneath everything
And harbouring a world inside your dreams

I had to scatter the already broken pieces of me
So that you are never barren and empty
So you can be my distant field of love unending
Filled with all of me that's better than
These terrors I am carrying

I needed you more than you needed anything
But I knew you belonged to the earth
And I dare not let my wave of persistent
Darkness weather you away

I had to carry all of my own burdens in all of its dreamless weight
Let it crush me in silence

All I ask you is the echoes of my own voice
To know that you are still there
Listening

Healing
Feeling safe.
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
I’m afraid I have more tears
Than words nowadays
And I’m afraid they would rather
Drown you than lift you up
To where you belong

You were truly everything I had
And as I can no longer find comfort
In your eyes, your smile, your voice
I found love in your absence
In the mindless suffering and pain
The devouring cloud of fear and desire
Dragging me deep into the night

They are my greed
Wanting to feel your love
And not just know it, sense it
And wish it

They are my shame
For I was not made to be loved
My only privilege was to give you
Unconditional love

Even that, I can only show you in words
So petty, simple, undecorated
And pebbles to the gold

My words were never glamorous enough
For your beauty
And tender enough for your soul
But they are did not come from within me
I did not create them
They are the flesh of me I tear apart to show you
The emptiness inside
And to fill your scars

I hope you don't need them
Yet so afraid that you don't
Because they are already broken
And have nowhere to go

I can't bear to be the dust in the wind
Floating away from you
But as my tears and fear takes over me
That's where my words will go

I can’t desire standing next to you
Or let my tears stain your soul
So I kept myself between you and the flow
But soon, over me, the water will go

And darkness will be all I know.


If only I was forgotten before
I was known.

If only, into this life,
I was never borne.
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
I found him when I was born, and
Since, we’ve become friends.
He’s always around, but
I don't usually think of his existence as profound.
He is playful too.
Or you can say that he, like all of us, has an aggressive soul:
When I’m bored, he sleeps without sound.
When I’m joyful, he makes me shorten the song.
When I tell him to run,
He just shuffles along.
When I want him to wait,
Only seconds is he gone.
I thought it was just his nature,
Nothing wrong.
But one day,
I realize,
His trick for was for my slow death
While he, fed on my flesh, lives forever long.
Time, a Life­ Long Friend
Yue ****, October 16, 2009
In my highschool days, I've written under the name SnowinJuly.
I wrote this in my senior year of high school.
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Khoisan
Combatn't Xboxed Acne wars
No controls out of contrast
Abrasive attached and
Detached by peer pressure
And hormonal nightmares
Losing the race for space
Attention deficit disorders
In the evolution of adolescence
vulnerable stage of life
What you feel cannot be said
can always be written.
The power of the pen knows no bounds.
Any grief or frustration in you, write it all out.
Lyn ***
garden hum
yellow bell flowers
rung by bees

Tom Spencer © 2018
I have close friends,
I don't have bestfriends.
I was never a bestfriend to anyone.
My only bestfriend is myself.
This is something I can't open up with my friends :)
The lifecycle of a butterfly
is an odd but fascinating one
So profound and so remarkable
Is this symbol of transformation

Humble earthbound caterpillar,
Time and patience is the key,
For evolution is unfamiliar
But a natural part of esse

Born with little help or guidance
Begins phase one of three
A little hungry caterpillar
That sat upon a leaf

Into the distance it would stare,
As others flew far and beyond.
“Why can’t i fly?” it began to ask
Why do they not respond?

Why didn't it have the same magic,
That seemed to run through the butterflies,
That fluttered as gracefully as their
soft painted wings in the calm evening light

It knew it could do nothing to change,
It was a simple fact;
the caterpillar was helpless and unworthy
But what was it he lacked?

Wait, waiting, wait some more
The next stage will be longer,
Eat, eating, eat some more
Just to make you stronger

See caterpillar in the tree,
Life may be quite uneasy
But come a time where you will be
As you hope, as you dream


But don’t give up on these things i list,
Because time is one precious gift
And as you’ve grown
Enough to start, here goes the second part

A chrysalis you weave away,
A safety net, a place to stay
Long are the days you’ll spend in there,
Away from the world, held captive from the glares

In the cocoon of your thoughts,
Fears, doubts and regrets
Time to let go,
For there is an opportunity to change and to grow

You will find yourself at a midway,
That place between no longer and not yet
things may seem a little grey,
A little lonely, no light of day

It takes the utmost courage
to spread your wings and fly
But when the moment comes
Everything will align

Now you have reached the final stage
You may feel different and so you look,
You embraced the change and completed the cycle,
Your patience and courage was what it took

But keep in mind,
this cycle does not simply mean,
The end of the caterpillar
And the beginning of the butterfly

As for a butterfly to flourish,
A caterpillar must be born
They share the cycle
They are just as important

It was a powerful force of growth and development
But now a new cycle of your life awaits
The key is to not fear it or fight it
There are no more boundaries, no more gates

You limited your beliefs and your ideas,
But now you are free to fly, to achieve
In yourself you should find joy,
As you spread your wings, butterfly boy
See, I'll tell you how it is
I don't really need any of this
All this random "he's mine, I'm his"
"There are already a thousand things I miss"

Sure, that's lovely, I admit
but could you slow down for a bit
You don't even know I'm it
And all it makes me think is "he might be full of ****"

I'm being very honest here, sorry
Just don't get why you would worry
about some girl you just met in a hurry
your view seems to be pretty blurry

Sure, everyone likes to hear sweet things
but if it's only that, no substance, the sweetness stings
I'm not sure I want your honey if a bee swarm is what it brings
I'm not your queen bee and here I see no kings

I'm not saying this is bad
This isn't even supposed to sound this mad
Being sweet is actually really rad
But I know how these things go and I'm done ending up being sad

Tell you what I'd be happy to see
Some interest in the actual me
Maybe believable honesty
Cause I ****** hate that I don't even get who you want to be
Very random. I listened to some catchy music today and wanted to write something simple.
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