Everything you had to say
Every. little. thing.

You used them as weapons
As knives

Every thought that came into your head was a knife in your hand
Like throwing knives you had sharpened them and aimed

Every sentence that came out of your mouth
Every word that entered the open air

Every single word sliced through the air like a throwing knife
The moment a word left your mouth, a knife was thrown

I always saw it coming
Every. single. Time.

The windup right before it’s thrown
Right before its said

Time standing almost still
As it slowly pierces through me.

The impact of the knife wedging into my heart
The impact of the words burning into my brain

Blood and tears
Knives and words

While I was at my most vulnerable
You saw me as a perfect target.

Perfect for throwing knives.

Stop
Tearing me apart
Only to ask why I can't
Put myself back together

—
Every girl I’ve ever pursued,
I would be lying if I never gave you my truth,
the truth is I am scared of myself.
They say time helps but over the years
my fears seem only to grow larger
and each day gets harder to go pass.
Now I can tell a joke, make a few smiles
but each mile I walk in my shoes,
the harder it is to stand still.
So I watch the world descend on me
like a rain pouring over a little field,
and dream of a shield to cover myself.
Just...there’s just no umbrella big enough.
So if I’ve ever pursue you,
don’t take the ruse of a happy smile
or the ruse of a joke like manner,
I am rarely ever happy,
but there is a little bit of happiness
in making you happy.
So I would be boldly lying if I didn’t tell you,
that I’m a sad and broken man.
I am not confident, and I don’t know how to pick you up,
but I do know one thing,
I’m happy that you’re smiling.
So I am being honest in saying
your smile is the deposit into my bank of happy memories.
I am not confident and chances are you’ll look through me
but if you could catch a glimpse of me,
remember- I never intended to lie to you.
Remember- I just wanted you to smile.

let it come.
let it hit you as hard as it may.
let it sting; heartbreak always does...

then let it go;
you are stronger than this grief.

There are demons in your closet
It is obvious to me
You left the door wide open
Setting those ******* free

Anger lashed out first
With razor sharp claws
Shredding the unsuspecting
Without hesitation or pause

Beneath him is resentment
Forever locked up tight
Hidden within for years
Now more than ever, ready to fight

Betrayal weighs heavy
Taking up the most room
Can’t sweep it under the rug
There isn’t a big enough broom

Don’t disregard the guilt
Or forget about shame
These two big players
Are leaders of the game

Amidst the whirl wind of chaos
And the fury of rage
A broken heart exposed through fear
Makes its way to center stage

Vulnerability is waiting
She can keep your closet clean
Nourish you with love
Making those demons less mean

As the spotlight shifts its focus
There seems nowhere to hide
Will you crawl back into darkness?
Or simply swallow your pride?