I drew a picture of you
I painted blue.

It had two faces
The first was filled with grace
The second with disgrace
A mouth filled with lies
Fear in your eyes
A brain thinking it was wise but really full of why's
Anything that goes through your ears disappears
A heart with the wrong kind cheers when it should be filled with tears.

I drew a picture a of you
I thought I drew it well too.

Will you wait for me?

As I stand on the edge of sand
with water caressing between my toes
Back and forth, back and forth

There is a lull in the wind
Everything stops,
My thoughts don’t exist, no reality

Back and forth, back and forth
comes again
I look up at the sun
I am not the light of the world
But you shine on me.

Will you wait for me?

Woe is me,

I see Grammy getting older as she sleeps all day.
My mom stressed more than ever because she works all day.
Daddy is getting out prison in a few days.
My uncle letting me see my baby cousin again so we play.

But even that doesn't brush the pain away.
Because I still have pain from the last time.  
It’s always going to be there for the rest of my lifetime.
I guess I can but it aside in meantime.

So maybe it should be woe betide you.
Because we both know that's true.

Why do I have to go through this?
Why can't my life just be full of bliss?
These questions go through my head everyday.

I just want to break away,
Break away from my life,
I'm sick of being the one who always has to pay the price.

Right now I don't even if I'm a person because I feel more like a toxin, A killer, A mistake ... All I do ache.
So just in case I get hurt again maybe I just should become plastic fake.

I hate you.
It's those 3 words always in my mind,
Words not known for being very kind.
But I can't help it! I'm so easily annoyed... Like when my Internet doesn't work on my stupid android.
I just don't understand people, I mean we're so evil.
But only if I knew what it is about you, what makes me want to scream ***** you!
It could be the way you walk or the words that come out when you talk.
Maybe your style or your creepy,
I don't know, but I can say this...
I hate you.

I once had a twisted spine,
But my curved back is now aligned.
With bolted screws and titanium rods,
I was lucky enough to beat the odds.
I went through not 1, but 2 surgeries.
At the best hospital in the world Children's Mercy.
I couldn't have imagined what I would have done,
If I didn't go to your hospital which I say is #1.
For what they do for kids like me,
Who have a curve of 44 degrees.
Thank you,
because my back wouldn't even have 1 *****.
They told me your a survivor Ms. Zaiser.
I said I wouldn't have been if it wasn't for people like you doing things that most people wouldn't even do out of the blue.
Words can't describe how lucky am I
Even though the pain was so bad I had tears in my eyes as I cried.
Asking why can't I just say goodbye and die!

But on June 9th, 2013 is when my recovery was finally over,
I knew I would never again have uneven shoulders.

I used to wonder if I hopeless being around all these roaches with the fact I had more things on my mind than what approaches.
Or with my black heart made from scattered thoughts.  
Like the times I've seen my mother suffer which I can't recover.  
I promise that I'll make to the top before my heartbeat ever stops.
Because I have dreams, dreams where everything is possible because there is no such thing as an obstacle.
If they don't know your dreams they can't shoot them down.
Because in life either people are going to feel you or let you drown.
So always try before you die or you'll always wonder what if I...

Pain and agony
Miserable and heartbroken
Confused and afraid.

Amazed and hopeful
Compassion and empowered
Thankful and loving.

Inspired and touched
The feelings and emotions
Is why I will write.

I've been hurt badly
Everything taken away
With happiness gone.

I died of crying
Hearing the words I hate you
Emotional, yes.

It is to abuse
Just like physical is too
They both change your life.

For better or worse
I will never be the same
But I'm not to blame.