I am just a Jester disguised in a Kings regalia

And here they come with their beautiful demeanour ,with their empty eyes laced with an allure stronger then the forces which construct our physical forms.

They speak in perfect sequence as if it had be rehearsed but I've heard these words before, of course, they've been here before they're regulars to my bar, filled with my bottled emotions.

They spoke of no wonders or such tacky things they spoke of a peace unparalleled, a welcome change to my current state of mind, a place where there is "no more judgment", "no more ridicule","no more lies" and "no more death" a place where I can be myself.

As they imbibed themselves with my fermented hopes, dreams and beliefs they grew bolder with each bottle they emptied.

"How can you live in this place it's a cesspool, so cluttered so unsure"

it's my home I play with the cards life has dealt me-

"ah there is the problem you are bound by life why not be free?".

I see no other path.

"there is".

they slide me an object,

"keep the change"

and they left.

the object was a box reading "the tool of your salvation" it had a note  end the lie, end your __.
I closed up shop,they are right, it was time for a change,
So this is my good bye.

I've been hurt before, love's pain seems to be my chronic affliction,
I've never been shown this much affection.

Please excuse my apprehensive reactions, if my participation feels like I'm just going through the motions- I find it hard to portray my emotions.

I've had so many lust filled stints; That's why I don't know if I can accept this, your love that is.
You're out of my league I know that ; I'm, in the eyes of those I've loved, just : emotional,untalented, unathletic, poor and fat those things I just can't forget.

My insecurities
a guard,a shield, they limit me to what I think I deserve and I don't deserve to be happy and with you that's all I know I can be.
Forgive me,
if It takes me time to say those 3 words, even when my heart beats like the wings of a humming bird, it's just I can't imagine why you have these feeling for me,
my Baby TT