Chew them up and spit them out.
Focus now. Now talk.
Nope — can’t speak the words aloud.
My mouth is filled with caulk.
Visions of words play out in my head
But I can’t get them to play nice.
Instead things have to be left unsaid.
Or I will pay the price.
Can’t risk it. Can’t say it.
It’s wriggling out of control
Can’t chance it. Can’t do it.
Can't say anything at all.

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out. Spit it out.
Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out Already!”

Spasms before they leave your lips
You’re ******* the words up
You apologize again for it.
An overflowing cup.
****** distortion. Mental exhaustion
Teeth clamped down tight.
Depression sets in, the fear sinking in
You  try with all your might.
Chewing on yourself again,
Embarrassment creeps in.
It’s not about if it will happen,
The question is “when?”

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out. Spit it out.
Chew it up, and spit it out.
Spit it out Already!”

The muscles are darting,
oh no it’s starting,
Your hands begin to shake.
Your tongue slides left,
Your neck bends right.
How much more of this can I take?
You want to run
You want to hide
But there’s nowhere to go.
You can’t run away from it,
Your face you have to show.
You try to stay as still as you can
So no one else can see,
You just want to cut out your tongue
But speech is a necessity.

“Chew it up, and spit it out.
The song must be sung.”
Can’t chew it up, or spit it out
This disorders got my tongue.

seeing **** that isn’t there,
hearing **** that isn’t real,
memories can’t be trusted.
the shadow people,
that used to scare me,
now long to be dusted.
9 pills down the hatch,
9 pills swallowed to cure me.
they stick inside my throat,
“They’ll start to work soon,
Just be patient.”
as they write another note.
the doses start to increase,
my tongue starts to spasm.
my hands shake as well,
i thought these things
we’re supposed to heal me,
instead I’m in living hell.
“Benefits do outweigh
the horrible side effects”
is what the doctors say.
so I keep on taking them,
choking them down,
every night and day.
but the **** is still there,
i can see it, and I can hear it too.
its plain as day, staring at me.
it’s as real as me and,
wait. are you?

Into madness, fall from sadness,
Struggle just to be.
Is this illusion just a delusion?
This pain envelopes me.
My mind is tangled, heart is strangled,
My demons follow close.
Help me escape, wrapped in red tape,
You’re the demon that haunts me the most.
Leave my skin red and raw,
The scars, they never fade.
Always bleeding, always seething,
Shadows follow night and day.
The figures watch my every move,
Whispers flood my ears.
“I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim”,
And they know my darkest fears.
The pills are supposed to heal my soul,
So I choke all of them down.
But the bugs still crawl under my skin,
Yet when I look they can’t be found.
I pull at my hair, checking if there
Is some proof that I am sane,
But ****** fingers always tell me,
The problem is in my brain.

They all see what she wants them to see. They can’t see the darkness inside. They can’t see the wounds that she gave herself. Wounds that she always hides. She fixes dinner, prays for release, and rolls over when it’s over cause she’s just another broken housewife.
She’s defective straight out of the box. She gets her happiness from a bottle. Just another pill down the shoot, then another, then another. She tucks the kids in, and does her very best to hold it all together for them. But she’s unraveling at the seams. She wants nothing more than to please cause she’s just another broken housewife.
No one can see her tears. No one can hear her screams. No one is there to care for her wounds. The black and blue patches that litter her skin. She’s good at hiding everything. She’s so good at holding everything in cause she’s just another broken housewife.

You’re so slick
Don’t you think so?
There’s no limit To how far you’ll go
You’re so sick
Yes I think so
My limits have been pushed
As far as they can go.
This wound I pick
Yes, for the blood flow
I’ve got stains I’ll never show
Don’t push me
Don’t test me
Don’t fight me
Just bite me
Ok a little fight
Now and then
And Over and over again.
Don’t you dare act like you care
I know the honest truth
You **** me dry
Empty and bare
You’ve ****** me of my youth
You’re so slick
Don’t you think so?
Cause I don’t.

Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left my broken heart
Why do I put up such a guard?
We’re here falling apart
Love me gently. Mind your screams.
You never could have known
Tears fall down in constant streams.
You chill me to the bone
Watch me turn away from you
Beg me not to go
The smoke surrounds me far from you
Up high is where I’ll go
Can we save this bleeding heart?
Is it worth the fight?
My heart says “Let it fall apart”
And maybe it is right.
What’s the point of this charade?
Round and round we spin
I’m dying where my head has laid
Please forgive me of my sins.
Why does it have to be so hard?
You’ve left me here to die
You’ve played your final hand of cards
So now I say goodbye.