Don't feed the trolls.

I am nineteen
And sitting in an over-glorified sports bar,
Telling him about my ex
Who would sip from the Devil's cup
And pummel my face
When he tells me
"You are too young to have dealt with that."

And I almost cry.

Because having been involved
In some serious **** before my 18th birthday,
I am afraid to tell him
That I have seen my friends
In coffins with track marks kissing their veins
And truly guilty rapists walk free.
I am ashamed to say
That I know what it is like
To have a person say to me
With no concern, only disdain
"Are you going to calm down
Or do I have to call the police this time?"

I took Atticus Finch too seriously
When he said to put on your fellow man's shoes
And walk around in them.
I have been on first dates in mental hospitals
And I became addicted to nicotine
By tasting it on men's breath
And he would be appalled to find out
The real reasons
I don't drink.

In a world where a year ago
I had to ask to leave the room and ****
I am now in a world
Where I am condemned
For not knowing where I'm going yet
But I will be dammed
If I do not know
What you're allowed to gift someone
Who is in the hospital after a suicide attempt
Or drug overdose.

Books, but only ones with non-controversial themes,
Shoes, laces prohibited.

It seems to me that they know
That my connection to this earth
Has become so frail
That even a shoelace
Could sever it.

His eyes are as young as mine
But he is saying these things to me
With a cigarette in his hand
And the weight of sleepless nights on his shoulders.
And I want to tell him that pain isn't relative
And what hurt me
May **** him
But I will not burden him
With the knowledge
That life gets better
Because I know he is hard headed.

I wonder some nights
If a shoelace is all it would take for him, too

And I almost cry.

So you really want to know
Why chivalry died?
Well the truth hurts dear reader
But to explain I deal shall try

Chivalry died because of a lack of appreciation from both sides
Of the spectrum it's like seeing a reflection of stupidity in thine eyes

Ladies it died because we failed to train up gentlemen, and the ones that very rarely are usually end up being simply friends,
Fellas we killed it to by not training up our sons
More often now the golden rule is look out for number one

So chivalry died a slow painful death,
From neglect from both sides,
Will it ever return again
I don't know when really... But I hope we try

So you got yourself a gun
Tell me something son
What do you think life will bring
That requires that kind of "protection"

So you got yourself a gun
What could occur
That will result in cold steel and hot lead
Creating burning pain and decaying flesh
Bodies overcrowding hospital beds

So you got yourself a gun
For hunting the less intelligent for sport
To hang pelts on your mantle
To brag about conquest as frivolous as the wax from a melted candle

So you got yourself a gun... What were you thinking of?

Tales from the subway

When you think about it the subway is the best way to observe human life
You see people from all walks and skin tones getting to their destination
If you're like me occasionally you'll encounter the homeless and the visibly forsaken to that mentally ill lady in the last car, we love you dear just keep it down please
And the ***** hippies feeding bread to their dogs, you teach me to value clean
To the Chinese woman reading English aloud haltingly, you show us the reality of immigration
There's the young man with the daycare T-shirt, dispelling stereotypes, one stand at a time
Everyone is here, and everyone has a place
Here on the subway
Just make sure to grab a seat, because you're going on a mental journey
So many ideas, so many places to see, so many new things to learn and experience,
much thanks to that girl who brought out a new confidence in me,
It's plain to see I love the subway

A ****,

I'm a ****, not the kind that you smoke
Although honestly now I wouldn't mind a ****.
I grow around other plants, some mature some in bloom,
And I grow sapping precious resources
And bringing nothing but gloom

Now you may say, "Nero! You write and play guitar! Surely self love can't be removed from you that far!
Well if you're like me, blessed early on with the ability to read,
And a young but bright intellect that made my eyes bleed
It's not surprising after years of pressure and high standards
And demands now matter how i tried I couldn't meet
It's hard not to see why, I think of myself as a ****

Bloodlines.

Blood runs deep but some times family can reach to far I still carry inadequacy like simba being crushed by Scar,
It hurts to know that although you mean well you keep invading my space and judging my Life making me feel out of space around those that helped give me life.

It's like although we share DNA and features in the face you can't see passed that to my hearts black space,
It's like now I'm simply an eccentric freak to stare and laugh at,
You can't see the tears falling down each night you crafted and the spirit you've cracked

So thank you for all of that, the judgement, the pain and inner separation,
Thank you for self doubting my own destination,
But thank you most for stabbing me in the side,
I guess family isn't always right