Out of a million language
I've been taught a few
I learned how to put the letters into words, the words into sentences and the sentences into question marks
I've stolen each dot I could find and held it betwen my fingers as if it was mine to hold
Then I hid it,
Underneath my pillow waiting for some sort of fairy to turn it into gold.
I just didn't know
I didn't know that each dot was a seed to a plant holding more needles than it does roses.
I didn't know it could grow so fast that it brings in other creatures into life.
Out of nowhere.
I swear, I can hear monsters grin at the sight of my neck
I can see bees building kingdoms out of my own flesh
I can feel germs crawling under my skin biting their way into my kidney, my liver, up to my heart.
Now I can't put myself to sleep for there's a wilderness on top of my bed waiting to swallow me like the only meal there is.
And God They did
They taught me all about languages but How?
How do I put my insomnia into words?!
How do I communicate my fear?!
Teach my scars to speak the dreadful venom out of them
Teach my nails to rip the chains out of my wrists
Teach my fingers to let go
Let the dots slip
I'm tired,
God
May the moon be my witness
I've told him all about the bed time stories I didn't hear
I've apologized to the sun for its awake is no longer beautiful
For the light it's giving to the world hurts my eyes
for the voices rising throughout the day translate nothing but agony into misspelled poems I could've written
God, do I hate that I can no longer function for the electricity within me is fading away
So Stop
Don't teach me about languages anymore
I've had enough.

Nothing can make things work the way they used to
not clearing out the allies
not repainting the walls
I couldn’t shout the voices out of my head
nor let them speak as if they’ve swallowed my tongue along with all the things they have already taken


Could have kept it a little secret
Until I woke up inhaling air instead of ocean
The acrid taste hadn’t left my lips when I saw that you were there
And I was more afraid of you than the nightmare
Afraid you would look me in the eye and see the Titanic
Glorious steel drowning underneath its majesty in slow motion
No background music
No spotlight
Afraid you would blame the waves for a sin they haven’t committed
or the anchor for pulling me down

Do not despise the blue I have chosen
nor the dusty riddles it’s been whispering to my ear
It has got no allies
No walls
**Just blue

.

Tending to my fruit stand,
another lonely day
Hoping for a customer
to happen ‘long the way

When then I saw approaching
a funny colored van
It pulled off on the shoulder,
I wondered of its plan

The back doors slowly opened
and there before my eyes
Stood a gorgeous woman
beneath these sunny skies

Her eyes were soft and sable
with hair a darker hue
She smiled and said hello to me
I said, “How do you do?”

She stood before my table,
I couldn’t help but stare
First she touched an apple,
then she touched a pear

Suddenly she shouted,
for now her hand did reach
Excitedly she questioned
“Please may I have a peach?”

All I could do was stutter,
as I could barely breathe
She took a bite and then exclaimed
“The sweetest I believe”

Then she grabbed a couple,
and walking to her van
Sat upon the rear end sill,
then patted with her hand

I stumbled there to join her,
she handed one to me
“I just adore your peaches”
“Yes ma’am, that I can see”

I sat there with her eating
and maybe I am dumb
But juice was dripping from her lip,
I brushed it with my thumb

This seemed to make her happy,
her beauty such a view
Then I could not believe my ears,
She asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Well, forget what I said earlier
the “dumb” part wasn’t right
I pressed my lips against hers
and held them there real tight

They were sweet and sticky,
delicious like the fruit
Then we separated,
she grinned and said, “You’re cute”

“I really think I love you
and will forever true”
I felt my heart just skip a beat,
“Yes ma’am, I love you too”

“I just adore your peaches,
they’re the best in all the land”
We kissed again, this time good bye,
she climbed into her van

I watched as she departed,
standing on the curb
Thinking of her kisses
and the last thing that I heard

Then felt kind of lousy
this pristine summer day
Not for what had happened,
but what I did not say

I didn’t have the heart to tell
this woman of my dreams
The fruits this day that she enjoyed
were really nectarines